Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Numbers 19-20

Even when I was an atheist, I knew I messed up. I knew I did things I shouldn’t. I couldn’t even obey the rules that I made for myself. I didn’t call these things sin and I didn’t call myself a sinner, but I knew I was far from perfect.

I said mean things behind people’s backs and sometimes even to their faces. I gossiped and slandered and lied. I cussed. I yelled. I manipulated.

Yet I had no solution to this ongoing problem – other than trying harder. Trying harder and failing again.

I was a lone soldier against an army of tanks. I was a lone woman scaling the Rocky Mountains in a blizzard with nothing and no one to protect or guide me.

Then, one day, at God’s appointed time, I heard about the solution to this age-old problem, and it wasn’t found in my own self will or strength. It was found in Jesus, in His will and His strength, for Jesus had gone before me, living the perfect life and dying a sinless death. He has already won the battle. He’s already standing on the mountaintop. He’s already seated on His heavenly throne.

The victory is His. As His born-again child, I am already forgiven, and my sins have already been washed away by His blood.

The blood of Jesus does what no human work can do; it washes clean not only our outer flesh, it purifies even our conscience, giving us the freedom to serve the Living God.

For if the blood of goats and bulls,
and the sprinkling of defiled persons with the ashes of a heifer,
sanctify for the purification of the flesh, how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without blemish to God,
purify our conscience from dead works to serve the living God.

Hebrews 9:11-14 ESV

And now by the strength of His Holy Spirit working in me, I’m still fighting and climbing. Not so I can be forgiven – I’m already forgiven. I’m fighting and climbing because I’m His soldier in a war that’s worth fighting. I’m in the Lord’s army, looking for souls in need of rescue. Want to join me?

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you. Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, O God of my salvation, and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.

O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

Psalm 51:7, 10-17 ESV

Heavenly Father, Thank You for Your forgiveness and your Grace, the power of your Holy spirit and the blood of Jesus. Thank you for not only forgiving me but for purifying my conscience and cleansing my heart. Give me the strength to get back in the battle. You have already won, yet You have called me to be a soldier in Your mighty army. This is a battle that cannot be won in my own strength, but only in your Holy Spirit. Your Word is my sword. Have Your way in me and through me. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.