My Grandma Taught Me

Yesterday, I shared about the Christian heritage of my grandmother. (Click here to read it, too!) Today I’d like to share a story I’ve written about some lessons that my grandma taught me. I’ve submitted this for a Chicken Soup for the Soul publication and am praying it gets selected. Enjoy! (You are welcome to share it in its entirety, but please link back here!)

My grandma cross-stitched this for me as a college graduation gift.

I remember my Grandma Norma’s sparingly stocked kitchen cupboards. As soon as I arrived for visits, she would take me straight to her kitchen to show me a gallon of vanilla ice cream in the freezer, a gallon of milk in the fridge, a box of cereal in a cabinet, along with a big can of V8 that she’d picked up “just for me.” She’d encourage me to make myself at home, enjoying a bowl of cereal or ice cream anytime I wanted. She taught me to value people more highly than things.

I remember many, many trips to Perkins, usually two in the same day. She’d ask for the senior special and I’d order a heaping platter of chocolate chip pancakes and a large glass of tomato juice. What I remember most about those trips is my grandma’s obvious pride in me. She loved to introduce me to the widow-friends she’d meet there for breakfast, as well as every waiter and waitress in the place. She knew them all by name. She’d share with me pieces of their lives that she’d learned on other recent visits to Perkins. She taught me to be a good listener.

I remember singing full volume in Grandma’s old green pickup truck while we drove around town. My grandma took me along wherever she went. While she drove, we’d belt out classic children’s songs, one after another. “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad,” “Three Little Ducks,” and “BINGO were among our favorites. Grandma insisted it helped her stay awake I’m sure it did! but it also gave us something fun to do in the car and I looked forward to it. I could still hear her beautiful voice ringing in my mind as I carried on the tradition with my own children many years later. She taught me to make the most of every moment.

I remember my Grandma Norma driving 50 mph down the dusty, gravel road from her house. With the steering wheel in one hand and a stick of bright red lipstick in the other, she’d peek occasionally in the rear-view mirror to make sure it was applied just right. Then, she’d draw a brush a few times through her naturally wavy, gray hair and she was ready to go. She taught me to always look my best.

I remember helping my grandma sell antiques at her two-story barn turned antique shop, The Woodn Wheel.” She encouraged me to be bold. I learned to walk right up to adults of all shapes and sizes, to ask if they needed any help and show them around. She trained me how to ring up a customer’s bill and make change. She taught me to be confident.

I remember that whatever errand we had to run, Grandma greeted everyone she met with a charming smile, a pleasant word of encouragement and two listening ears. It seemed like she knew everyone, and I was proud that this was my grandma. She taught me to be friendly.

I remember spending many quiet evenings looking at her walls covered with framed black-and-white photos. I loved looking at the pictures of my mom, and her sister and brothers growing up on our family farm. But I especially loved the pictures of my grandparents when they were young. Their heartfelt love for one another radiated out of those old photos. Widowed just before her 40th anniversary, she taught me to value love and devotion.

I remember being just on the verge of womanhood and going shoe shopping with my grandma. I was a petite young lady with size 5 feet. My grandmother towered over me. She was seven inches taller and wore shoes seven sizes larger! She walked me right into a boutique shoe shop and asked the clerk for help. Grandma was looking for the largest size they carried, and I was looking for the smallest. She taught me to appreciate myself just the way I was.

I remember many years later when I was a young mom with two children. Grandma Norma had come to our home for a visit. She absolutely refused to “be a burden.Night or day, she could always be found working away at something – whether sweeping the sidewalk or washing the dishes. Now it was my turn to take care of her, but, no, she was still my grandma, teaching me lessons I needed to learn. She taught me to be a hard worker.

I remember near the end of my grandma’s life, making the long drive to visit her at a nursing home. Even though she’d lost her ability to speak clearly, she greeted everyone with a smile. Her face radiated peace like you don’t see in many people in her circumstances. Just before heading back home, Grandma got my attention, struggling to communicate with me. Holding tightly onto my arm, she looked longingly into my eyes, mouthing, “I love you.” And I knew she did. She taught me to tell those you love how you feel.

And I remember the very last time I saw her. When it was time for me to leave, Grandma was sitting in her wheelchair in the nursing home’s dining room. She waved to me through the great glass windows as I walked to my car. I knew I might not see her again. I looked in at her and waved back. She waved and waved, grinning at me through white teeth, and her trademark red lipstick. She taught me to believe that “a joyful heart is good medicine.”

Pass It On – in Memory of Norma Myers

Yesterday was the 12th anniversary of my grandmother’s passing – 12/12. My Grandma Norma was a very special person in my life.

Grandma Norma came from a long line of Christians. This song, written by one of my grandmother’s relatives, attests to her Welsh ancestors’ love of music, family, church, and Jesus.

My great-great-great-grandmother, Margaret Rowland, was a woman of faith whose “supreme ambition seemed to center in her children — to provide them with all possible advantages for an education, and to train them for useful Christian lives” despite severe trials, including the loss of her first husband when she had six young children. She “lived a life of service and devotion, not restricted to her own family, but many in the neighborhood where she lived had occasion to feel grateful for help in time of need.”

Margaret Rowland’s daughter, Harriet, (my great-great-grandmother) was blessed with seven children and almost 50 years of marriage to her husband, Isaac.

Harriet, too, was a Christian mother dedicated to helping others, especially her grandchildren — like my grandma! My great-grandmother, Anna, is pictured at the top right. She is the pleasant looking one with a sweet smile.

Anna and her husband, Will, had four sons and one daughter. My grandma Norma was that one daughter.

Anna and Will were blessed with over 50 years of marriage and a house full of grandchildren and great grandchildren.

My grandparents were married on Christmas Day, 1938, with my grandmother carrying her Bible and wearing her great-grandmother’s brooch. (Aren’t they handsome? Did you notice how tall my grandmother is? I take after my dad’s side of the family.)

My grandfather passed away from pancreatic cancer shortly before they celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary. Here they are in front of their restaurant, “The Purple Cow” with my older sister and me.

I have often wondered if my own faith has its roots in the faithful women who went before me. God heard their prayers, blessing them with generations of Christ-followers. As Paul wrote to Timothy of the faith that dwelt in Timothy’s mother and grandmother (2 Timothy 1:5) “and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.” (2 Timothy 3:15)

I’m praying for these four right here. My greatest desire for them isn’t to be the smartest, richest, most famous, or most popular. It’s simply for them to know and love Jesus, to live for Him and His glory.

Allow me to encourage you, mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers, future mothers! You can pray for your sons and daughters, even for those not yet born. God hears you.

You can bless the generations to come by sharing the good news of the gospel and the truths of the scriptures. God will bless your efforts.

You can faithfully pass on your faith to the next generations. God is faithful. You can be faithful, too.

Heart check: How’s it going? Are you praying? Are your sharing?

TWIG

Christmas Celebrations + Body Life

Dear friends,

Are any of you like me, with grand plans for all the things you’d like to accomplish for the Lord?  I love Jesus so much and want to do ALL the things.  But, I’m just one person with just 24 hours in a day and those days are already full.  So, when God began impressing on me to reach out to the ladies in my neighborhood, I began to pray for God to send someone to work alongside me.  He did.

Through the wonders of Facebook, I found a fellow Christ-follower who also wanted to reach out to our neighbors.  She offered to make and distribute flyers to invite the ladies over, while I opened my home to host it.  Debbie even went so far as coming over 3 hours early to decorate and set up!

God blessed me with this passage conveniently scheduled that morning in my Scripture Typer app.  1 Corinthians 12:4-7 ” Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord;  and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.”

I love to talk, to pray, to share the good news of the love of Jesus.  And I got to do just that within the comfort of my beautifully decorated home.  Thank you, Jesus!  And thank you, Debbie!  And thank you to my 2-dozen neighbors who stopped by!

Friends, God didn’t design His body to operate as cut-off individual members.    We have different gifts, different passions, different ways to serve.  We need each other on purpose!

Heart-check: What God-sized goal is in your heart that you need someone to partner with you?  How are you trying to operate in your own strength, separated from the body of Christ?

Let me leave you with something I wrote several years ago, but seem to revise every year!

Keeping Christ in Christmas – Every Day of the Year

When a friend posted this question on an online forum, “How do we keep Jesus Christ and His birth at the center of our Christmas celebration?” I gave a lot of thought to my answer. This question is particularly important to me because I wasn’t raised in a Christian home, and yet, my family celebrated Christmas. We hung stockings, decorated a Christmas tree, exchanged gifts and played Santa, just like every other red-blooded American family.

By the time I was a teenager, I was an outspoken atheist who loved to argue with my Christian friends, and yet, I had little understanding of the Christian faith. I did not understand that Christians believed that Jesus Christ was God in the flesh and that Christmas was celebrated to remember the day He was born on earth to live as a man. It was not until I was 21-years-old and had many heated debates with a Christian young man (who later became my husband) that I heard the good news of the gospel – that I could be forgiven by faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, turning away from my sin and following Him.

So, with that background, let me encourage everyone how truly important it is to keep the birth of Jesus at the focus of your Christmas celebrations. In response to the question, “How do we keep Jesus Christ at the center of Christmas?” the answer is to intentionally seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God, setting your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. (Colossians 3:1-2)

Yes, we festively decorate our home and Christmas tree. Yes, we buy gifts for our children and other members of our family. Yes, we drive around town and look at pretty Christmas lights. But, no, we don’t spend days and weeks putting up and taking down decorations. We refuse to go into debt feeding our kids’ appetites for stuff and our own appetite to impress others with our earthly possessions. And, no, we do not pack on December with a dozen holiday events because, truthfully, they take our family’s eyes off the true gift of Jesus and just add busy-ness to our already full lives.

After following Jesus for over twenty years, though, I have learned that the Christian life is so much more than a list of do’s and don’ts. It really is a living relationship with the great Creator, Ruler of the Universe, and Lord of my soul, so please do not see my suggestions as added rules and burdens for you to follow. Evaluate your own advent activities to see whether they are drawing your family to a closer relationship with Jesus or pushing you farther away. Truly, when you seek the Lord with all your heart, you will find Him. Jesus is truly our Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. His Word is a light to our feet. You can trust Him, and you can trust His Word.

With that said, here are some choices we’ve made to help us not lose Jesus amidst our Yuletide celebrations –

  • We taught our kids from a young age that playing pretend is fun, but it’s just pretend. God is real. Santa is pretend. The Bible is real. Fairy tales are pretend. Yes, we put out cookies for Santa. Yes, we stuffed stockings. It was fun! But our kids knew the truth. I decided that God wanted us to be truth bearers and I wanted my kids to trust that Mommy and Daddy always speak the truth. That didn’t mean we couldn’t play pretend – but they knew we are pretending.
  • We try to have most of our gifts bought by December 1, so our minds are not consumed by shopping. The stress of finding “the perfect gifts” is not good for the “Christmas spirit.”
  • We limit ourselves to three gifts per child. This limits not only the money, but also the time and energy, we spend on Christmas gifts.
  • I force myself to go to bed at night. If it’s not done by 10:30, then it doesn’t need to be done. Tomorrow is another day. A tired mommy is a cranky mommy.
  • Each of our four children chooses a gift for each of their siblings and parents and they use some of their own money to buy them. This helps them focus on giving, rather than just receiving.
  • When it’s time to open gifts, we each take turns giving our gifts to the recipients, rather than the recipients taking their gifts.
  • We enjoy a daily time of prayer, scripture reading, and discussion for the 25 days of advent.

Which leads me back to the original question: “How do we keep Jesus Christ and His birth at the center of our Christmas celebration?”

This certainly is a good question to ask, but may I suggest that the better question is this:  “How do we keep Christ at the center of every single day of the year?”  365 days-a-year we can choose to seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God, setting your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. I’m praying that this holiday season, and for all the days of our lives, that we would, trust in the LORD with all our hearts, leaning not on our own understanding, acknowledging Him in all our ways. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You can download your own copy of Keeping Christ in Christmas here:
Keeping Christ in Christmas 2018

Blessed are the meek

When my nephew, Brady, passed away on May 5, 1997, at 16 months of age, God showed Himself so mighty and real and present in a myriad of ways – one of which being in the words of Matthew 5:4, “Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.”

You can watch my testimony video on YouTube for a deeper explanation of God’s great ministry through this great tragedy.  (My nephew’s story is told from about the 16-minute to 23-minute mark, if you don’t have time to watch the entire thing right now)

For 21 years now, Matthew 5:4 has been a very special verse for me.  But, this year, on May 5, the anniversary of Brady’s death, I decided to do a little study into Matthew 5:5 which reads, “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.”  Initially I didn’t see any relevance in this passage to Brady’s death, but as I continued to search and study and meditate on this verse, I’d like to share with you what I’ve found.

That word, “meek,” is the Greek word praÿs (Strong’s G4239).  It is an adjective meaning, “mildness of disposition, gentleness of spirit.”  On BlueLetterBible.com they have a feature called “Outline of Biblical Usage” for many of their Greek words.

Meekness toward God is that disposition of spirit in which we accept His dealings with us as good, and therefore without disputing or resisting. In the OT, the meek are those wholly relying on God rather than their own strength to defend against injustice. Thus, meekness toward evil people means knowing God is permitting the injuries they inflict, that He is using them to purify His elect, and that He will deliver His elect in His time (Isaiah 41:17, Luke 18:1-8). Gentleness or meekness is the opposite to self-assertiveness and self-interest. It stems from trust in God’s goodness and control over the situation. The gentle person is not occupied with self at all. This is a work of the Holy Spirit, not of the human will (Galatians 5:23).

God had indeed comforted my sister, in giving her a second son just one short day before her older son’s passing … and even more so by sending her His Holy Spirit to be her eternal comforter …

But, God has also given her the ability to be meek, to learn to rely wholly on Him, trusting in His perfect goodness and His control over every situation, accepting His dealings with us as good.  Praise His Name.  And Thank Him for His living and active and true and good Word.

TWIG

My Life as the Bride of Christ – Part 4 of 4

In this series which I’ve titled “My Life as the Bride of Christ,” we’re going to look together at a few things that I believe make the marriage relationship unique and how our relationship with Christ is particularly special because we are His bride.  You can read parts one, two and three by clicking here.

#4. The marriage relationship is devoted and sacrificial.

My husband Bill and I met in April of 1994, were engaged three months later and then married in December of that same year.  In that brief, eight-month time period, Bill became the focus of my life.  He’s what I lived for.  He’s who I wanted to be with.  I stayed up into the wee hours of the morning, talking to him on the phone for hours and hours.  I spent countless hours primping and preparing to spend time with him.  I rearranged my plans to have the most time possible with him.  I wanted to please him and was willing to sacrifice my desires in favor of his.  I spent hours writing him love notes and making him goofy little gifts like a reflective coffee mug that said, “Guess Who I Love?” in paint pen with a big circle that would show HIS face.

Our young love was devoted and sacrificial.

But, somehow, as the months and years wore on, the trials and disappointments of my life took their toll.  I became increasingly selfish and demanding.  He wasn’t doing enough for me.  He wasn’t meeting my needs.  I no longer wanted to share hours upon hours of time with him, because deep roots of bitterness had taken hold of my heart.  My heart grew cold and distant, and I dare say, so did his.

We remained married, but life became more about the checklist of things that had to be done, rather that things that got to be done.  I lost my desire to want to please him.  I no longer cherished and adored this man.  Caring for my marriage became little more than a chore among a long list of chores.

Is that how we see our relationship with God?  Have we grown cold? Bitter? Hardened?

Is our time spent with God one chore among a long list of chores?

Do we hunger for him, as a starving beggar on a lonely road in the wilderness?

Do we thirst for Him, as a parched traveler in a desert land?

Do we crave time with him, as a young bride looks forward to the moment her bridegroom will return home from a hard day at work?

Just as sinful human fathers have given us a wrong impression of our perfect heavenly father, so fallen human marriages today have given us a wrong impression of our perfect heavenly groom.  Jesus Christ, our adoring, sacrificial husband, longs to spend time with us, His spotless bride, for whom He gave His very life.

Remember what the Lord said to His people in Jeremiah 2:2, “I remember the devotion of your youth, your love as a bride, how you followed me in the wilderness, in a land not sown.”  And Revelation 2:4-5a “But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. ”

Am I satisfied to just know ABOUT Bill, to study his likes and dislikes, to know his favorite food and sports team, to know facts about him, like when and where he was born and his mother’s maiden name, to know random trivia about him so I can show off how well I know my husband, like what elementary school he went to and how much he weighed when he was 16?  Is that good enough for me?

Or, do I really want to KNOW him?  Intimately.  Personally.  Deeply.  Do I REALLY want to know what grieves his heart?  Do I REALLY want to know what he ACTUALLY thinks about when nobody’s around?

Do I truly want to please him, just because I love him – expecting NOTHING in return?  Sacrificially giving up my own desires in deference to his?

This is not supposed to be a talk about “how to love your husband,” though I’m sure we could all use that one, too.

No. This is a talk about “how to love your GOD.”

Friends, we cannot be satisfied by just knowing about God from a distance.  We cannot stop at knowing “1001 Facts about God and His Word.”  We cannot be satisfied with just being “good bible study girls.”  Remember Hosea 6:6, the Lord desires “steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.”

Do we truly desire to PLEASE God BECAUSE we LOVE Him?  Rather than because we think we can (or that we have to) earn His love and approval.

My Jesus loves me so much.  He wants to be with me.  He wants me to arise and come away with Him.  He wants me to willingly choose Him over sleep, over stuff, over other relationships, over the multitude of cares and distractions of the world that want to choke out the fruit-bearing of my life (See Mark 4:18-19)

SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR US … How does the fact that The marriage relationship is devoted and sacrificial impact our lives?

For me, what this looks like is largely wrapped up in having a committed, set aside time with God, my Savior, Lord, Father and Husband.  Truthfully, the closeness and intimacy and joy of my relationship with God is directly correlated to the quality (and quantity) of time I spend with Him.  Just as my relationship with my earthly husband suffers when we aren’t spending time together, so my relationship with God suffers when I am too busy or tired or distracted or stressed to spend time at His feet.

And might I add here that in those times when your daily life with your husband (or with your God) feels like a grind – DO the things you did at first.  Do it.  Don’t give way to your emotions.  Choose to serve your husband with a cheerful, sacrificial heart even when it’s hard.

 

My Life as the Bride of Christ – Part 3

In this series which I’ve titled “My Life as the Bride of Christ,” we’re going to look together at a few things that I believe make the marriage relationship unique and how our relationship with Christ is particularly special because we are His bride.  You can read parts one and two by clicking here.

#3. The marriage relationship is deeply intimate, close and personal.

All relationships involve some level of intimacy, but the relationship between husband and wife goes the deepest of them all.  I fear that this was a great stumbling block for me in seeing God as my husband.  For me, marital intimacy was intricately tied to the physical, sexual union between a man and his wife, and because of past sin on my part, I could not see intimacy with God in any other way.  Yet, as the Lord has peeled back these layers in the past year, I see now that true, pure intimacy is not dirty or corrupt.

In the beginning of time, when God made a “helper fit for” Adam since it was not good for man to be alone, God created Eve out of Adam’s side.  We are told that “the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” (Genesis 2:25)

Adam and Eve had nothing to hide from one another.  They were one flesh, with nothing to separate them.

As a married woman, I should have nothing to fear in bearing my heart and soul to my husband, because he is bound to me in a way that no other relationship is.  Other people (maybe even some of you) might grow sick and tired of me, especially as you get to know the “real me” and you might move on to find nicer, easier people to deal with, but not my husband.  He can’t. He knows my numerous flaws, and yet, he remains by my side – in spite of them.

A dear friend and fellow church member reminded me in the van on the long trip back from our mission trip to Reynosa, Mexico last month, that our love for our husbands grows all the deeper as they demonstrate faithfulness toward us in a way that new lovers are unable to appreciate.  In that way, our love for our spouse is magnified as their commitment to us is proven true through the years and decades.

And yet, for as well as my husband knows me, I can still hide things from him.  But, God….  He knows a word before it’s on my lips.  I cannot hide anything from Him; I cannot hide any thought, word or action from Him.  Even the darkness is as light to Him.  I cannot flee from Him.

Mediate on how deeply God knows and loves us according to Psalm 139:1-4, 11-12 “O LORD, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether. … If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.”

As the bride of Christ, I have nothing to fear in bearing my heart and soul to Him, because I can have full confidence in his steadfast love and faithfulness.  I can cast all of my cares on Him, because I know that He fully cares for me (1 Peter 5:7).  It reminds me of Stephanie’s talk yesterday, that we can pour out of cries of lament, knowing that God has given us in the psalms this model of real, genuine, authentic relationship with Him.

In Hosea 6:6, we are told that the Lord desires “steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.”  God wants our hearts, our souls, our minds – with all of our everything.  He wants us to know Him and trust Him deeply and personally.  He wants more than just to “be known about” and studied and served.  He wants to be known.

SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR US….  How does the fact that The marriage relationship is deeply intimate, close and personal impact our lives?

God wants our time with him to be transparent and real.  He is not fooled by any false pretense.  God detests hypocrisy and deceit.  We can bear our true souls to Him without fear or shame.

I can confess ALL my sin to Him – agreeing with Him about my need for salvation and deliverance.  I can cry to Him all day long without worrying that He will grow tired of me.  I can share my every joy with Him without fear that He doesn’t care.  I can talk to God without ceasing, in everything giving thanks, trusting that this, too, is God’s will for me in Christ Jesus.  I don’t have to hide from Him.  Ever.

Stay tuned for the final installment Part Four: The marriage relationship is devoted, and sacrificial.

My Life as the Bride of Christ – part 2

In this series which I’ve titled “My Life as the Bride of Christ,” we’re going to look together at a few things that I believe make the marriage relationship unique and how our relationship with Christ is particularly special because we are His bride. (You can read Part 1 by clicking here)

#2. The marriage relationship is designed to be ‘til death do we part.

The Lord is described over and over again throughout scripture as steadfast and faithful, promising to NEVER leave us or forsake us.  His love toward us is eternal.  We were never designed “grow up and move out” like a child with their parents.

This is one reason I am so certain that we cannot lose our salvation and also one reason why I’m certain that God hates divorce.  When God places His seal upon us and fills us with His holy spirit, He will never break that covenant with us.  We are bound to Him eternally.

As Ephesians 5:31-32 says “’Therefore, a man shall leave [Greek: kataleipo – leave behind, to depart from, leave, forsake] his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.’  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”  Wow.

See, our children are designed to grow up and leave us, that they may become one flesh with their mate, and so are we to be ONE FLESH with Christ.  We are His bride, and He is our bridegroom.

SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR US….  How does the fact that our relationship with Christ is eternal impact our lives?

We can demonstrate our love for Christ, by remaining certain of His love for us while we’re in the midst of trials.

I have been through some hard times in the last 23 years since I bowed my knee to Jesus, and I have been tempted countless times to doubt His love and power, and yet, God has proven Himself faithful to me over and over again.  By remaining faithful in my love toward Him, and certain of His love for me, I commit my life into His hands until my last breath.

Stay tuned for “Part Three: The marriage relationship is deeply intimate, close and personal...”

My Life as the Bride of Christ (a new series – part #1)

I recently had the opportunity to share this talk with my women’s study hour class at church.  When I read over my notes now, I am so disappointed that I didn’t record our conversations.  God showed up and took my meager offerings and multiplied them hundred-fold as the other women in the room shared their thoughts and questions.  It was a beautiful time.  I pray that God would once again take these meager offerings and multiply them in your own mind as you meditate on these truths.

In this series which I’ve titled “My Life as the Bride of Christ,” we’re going to look together at a few things that I believe make the marriage relationship unique and how our relationship with Christ is particularly special because we are His bride.#1. The marriage relationship is exclusive:

We can have a dozen coworkers, a dozen children and a dozen friends.  But we can only have ONE husband and He can only have ONE bride.  God will not share us with other gods and our husband will not share us with other men.

It is not enough for us to make God the biggest God in our life, or the best idol that we have.  He can’t be our “favorite” husband, the one who gets to share our house and our bed.  He wants to be our ONLY husband, our ONE thing.  He wants ALL of our heart, soul, mind and strength, our everything.

As Hosea 1:2 reads, “When the Lord first spoke through Hosea, the Lord said to Hosea, “Go, take to yourself a wife of whoredom and have children of whoredom, for the land commits great whoredom by forsaking the Lord.”

What had the Israelites done that made them whores, adulterers?  They had forsaken the Lord.  They had turned their back on Him and chased after false gods, idols.  They had given their allegiance to things OTHER than the one true God.  They were not loving Him with ALL their heart, soul, mind and strength.  God despises adultery of all forms, especially adultery toward Him.  God wants our whole heart.  He will not share His glory with another.

SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR US….  How does the fact that The marriage relationship is exclusive impact our lives?

Well, for one, we can demonstrate our love for Christ, by being a good steward of all that He has entrusted to us: our time, talent, treasure and testimony,

  • by rising early in the morning to spend time with Him when we’d rather sleep in,
  • by using our gifts and talents to serve Him and His kingdom, rather than our own pursuits,
  • by using the possessions and money that He has given to us for His glory rather than selfish passions,
  • by speaking of His unfailing love to both strangers and friends, rather than turning a blind eye to their needs, or being ashamed of our “first love.”

We can demonstrate our love for Christ by giving Him our first and our best, rather than the scraps and leftovers.

Stay tuned for “Part Two: The marriage relationship is ‘til death do we part.” 

Love more than sacrifice

There are too numerous things to count that I’ve learned about God specifically through being a mom. One of the most breathtaking is the idea that God desires love more than sacrifice, and the knowledge of Him more than burnt offerings (Hosea 6:6).

 

I have trained my children to obey me. Ever since they could speak (or in my youngest son Daniel’s case, before they could speak), I have taught obedience as rule #1 in the Endraske house. The first Bible verse my kids learned was “Obey your parents in the Lord for this is right, Ephesians 6:1.” I taught them to obey promptly and fully, without complaining, arguing or questioning. (I’m not saying they did this … I’m merely saying this is what I taught them.)

Now that  my two oldest are young adults, I’m finding myself in a trap here. If I ask them to run an errand for me, or do a chore around  the house, or even say have lunch with me …. I don’t want them to do this out of a sense of obedience and/or sacrifice. I want them to WANT to. I want my kids to WANT to help, to serve, to give, and I especially want them to want to be with me, to love spending time with me, to value my relationship. And I fear that in all my drilling and discipline on obedience, they missed having the opportunity to choose to demonstrate their “just because” love for me, because it was all about doing as they were told. 

So, when I was recently asked by an unbeliever why God would create mankind when He knew that some would reject Him and suffer the eternal consequences of that choice, it reminded me of my life as a mom, and how I want my kids to want me.

When my kids were younger and they’d pester me to buy them something, or take them somewhere, I’d try to explain to them how they were stealing my joy of giving them a gift, that I wanted to give to them freely, and not under compulsion, being nagged and cajoled into giving them something.

I wonder if God ever feels like that. He loves us, with His incredible love. He demonstrates His love for us in that while we were still sinners, He sent Christ to die for us.  (Romans 5:8)  He does this as a free gift by His Grace through faith and even gifts us that faith in the first place, that none of us can boast or tell Him that He’s “got to give it to us” because it’s our wages due. (Ephesians 2:8-9; Romans 4:4-5)  Because, in fact, our due wages is death (Romans 6:23).

God Himself is a cheerful giver, a good Father who loves to give good gifts to His children (Matthew 7:11). If He forced us to love Him, if there were no alternative BUT to love Him, I wonder if that would limit the joy that He receives from our grateful hearts full of thanksgiving to Him for the blessed gift of faith and love.

To the only Worthy One, my Savior and Redeemer and Friend.

TWIG

Sometimes you can’t understand until you’re there

Today my amazing husband turns 47 years old. Where have the years gone?

20th anniversary – 2004

As I’m aging, I’m beginning to see that though I look older on the outside (only a very, very little bit older), on the inside I’m really the same person — just a little more experienced and wiser, hopefully. (Thank You, Lord!) But as a young person I really couldn’t understand that, even if someone explained it in the simplest of terms.

There are some things you just can’t understand until you’re there. When my kids were little, I had older women tell me repeatedly to enjoy these years because children grow up so quickly. Well, I couldn’t understand. I didn’t think they were growing up quickly. I couldn’t wait for them to sleep through the night, to talk, to be potty trained, to read. And now it’s gone in a flash. Those women were right! Where did my babies go?

It’s like that when I’m trying to explain my faith walk to someone who doesn’t know God. How do I explain how real God is to me? How can I explain how scriptures jump off the page when I read them? How can I explain that I literally hear verses echoing inside my mind at just the moment when I need them? How can I explain that I hear a small, persistent voice calling to me, saying, “This is the way, walk in it”? How can I make someone see something that they can’t see? How can I explain to someone something that was once so foreign to me, too, but now is as normal as taking my next step or my next breath?

God is real. He’s real. He sees me and He knows me and He cares for me and about me. He is with me wherever I go and whatever I do. He walks with me and He talks with me. Though I cannot see Him, I know Him and He has made me His own. His love is as real to me as the air that I breathe. I wish everyone could know Him like that.  Praying.

TWIG