Dear Younger Kim, (#3) Respect Your Husband

july-4-2000-bill-with-emily-and-nickThis series is in response to the question:

So if you met yourself when your kids were as young as mine (4 and 1), what would you tell her?

If you haven’t read Part One in this series, click here.

Here’s my third nugget for myself:

Dear Kim,

Do you see that young man in that picture? He’s just as confused and lost as you are.  Be patient with him, Kim.  Pray for him, sister.  Encourage him and love on him.

I wish I could stop there, but I’ve got to keep going.  The word of God is for our training in righteousness that we could be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

You might want to get a cup of coffee and sit down.  You might want to pray and hold my hand before we dive in here.  This is going to be a hard one to hear.  This is an area where I’m still doing battle almost every single day.  But, I have a feeling that if we’d started on this a long time ago, this battle now wouldn’t be quite so hard.

… let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:33)

Kim, your relationship with your husband needs to be rooted deep in respect and reverence.  As hard as this is for you to hear and as much as you want to fight against it, this is the truth.  Indeed, you will well learn over the years, that there is indeed a way that seems right to a man (or a woman), but its end is the way to death (Proverbs 14:12 & Proverbs 16:25).  This is one of those ways.

There are going to be many, many times when you think you know better, when you think you’re right, (and in fact, you may at times be right), but in the midst of that battle, you have got to reverence your husband.  Admire him.  Honor him.  Respect him.  Listen to him.  Be quick to listen and slow to speak and slow to anger (James 1:19-20).  Know this: it is the fool who delights in expressing his opinion, rather than in understanding (Proverbs 18:2).  Yes, there may be the rare occasion when you might have to go against his wishes, but this will be the extreme exception and not the rule.

I’m not telling you to put him on some kind of pedestal or to make him some kind of an idol, taking the place of your allegiance to the one true God.  No.  Remember, you’re going to be trusting in the Lord with all your heart and not leaning on your own understanding.  Remember, you’re going to be praying with thanksgiving and making your requests known to God.

And as you do that, God will turn his heart as only He is able (Proverbs 21:1).

God will not share His glory with another (Isaiah 48:11).

Think of the story of Gideon leading the Israelites in battle against the Midianites.  In Judges 7:2, The Lord said to Gideon.

“The people with you are too many for me to give the Midianites into their hand, lest Israel boast over me, saying, ‘My own hand has saved me.’

The Lord cut down the army of the Israelites from 22,000 strong down to 300!  In the Israelites’ victory, there could be no doubt that God Himself had saved them.

Kim, don’t steal God’s glory but manipulating and nagging and cold-shouldering (is that a word?) your husband into submitting to your wishes.  God is most glorified as you are still and let Him fight your battles for you (Exodus 14:14).

Trust me.  No, Trust GOD.  Remember, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge HIM and He will direct your paths.








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