Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Psalm 16, Joshua 13

See this rollercoaster? It’s called “Runaway Mine Train.” If you ever find yourself in St Louis, you can go to Six Flags and ride it yourself. The Mine Train is about the only rollercoaster ride that I’ll go on.

I don’t like rollercoasters that shoot you out going 100 mph. I don’t like rollercoasters that make you travel backwards or through endless dark tunnels. I don’t like rollercoasters that make you spin around in circles and leave you dizzy. I prefer a more sedate, predictable ride with just a few bumps and turns.

Over 25 years ago, we found out that the much-planned-for baby that I was carrying had passed away in my womb. Less than a month earlier I’d walked into my doctor’s office for what I thought would be a routine 12-week checkup, absolutely unaware that the entire course of my life was about to change. That day I had the first of a series ultrasounds which revealed that my unborn son had a fully obstructed bladder, followed by an amniocentesis to check for generic anomalies, and ultimately in-utero surgery. The rollercoaster ride I hadn’t signed up for came to an abrupt halt with the words, “I’m sorry, Mrs. Endraske. We can’t find a heartbeat.”

But, God.

God had different plans for me and my family. God had a different little boy in mind to grow up in my family. God was at work behind the scenes for who He wanted to be my oldest son. This journey, too, would feel like a runaway rollercoaster ride, but this time the ride included the prize of a beautiful little boy in my arms.

There have been plenty of situations in my fifty-plus years of life that I never would’ve chosen for myself. Twists and turns, highs and lows, that I wish I’d never taken.

But, God.

El Roi, the God who sees, is the One who has expertly laid out the tracks that my life has run on. Though my life has all too often felt completely out-of-control, the truth is that God has been guiding and directing my course.

• My heart had planned my way, but the Lord is who established my steps. (Proverbs 16:9)
• Many have been the plans of my mind, but it has been the purpose of the Lord that has stood. (Proverbs 19:21)
• The Lord’s plans have been for my welfare and hope, not for my harm (Jeremiah 29:11-14).

The roller coaster ride of my life has compelled me to seek God, rather than merely coasting down the paths I would have chosen for myself. He used this valley to equip me to start the “A Child of Promise” online ministry and write a book for parents continuing their pregnancy following a poor or fatal prenatal prognosis.

The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.

The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

I bless the LORD who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.

I have set the LORD always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure.

For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Psalm 16:5-11 ESV

How about you? Are you on a ride of life right now that you’re thinking, “I didn’t sign up for this?” Are you looking frantically for the escape hatch? What do you think the Lord is teaching you in the process?

Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father, Your ways are higher and better than ours. You hold my life, my future, in Your Almighty hand. You are on Your sovereign throne. Help me trust You. Even when I’m walking through dark valleys, help me remember that You are with me, holding my hand and guiding me in the paths of righteousness for Your Name’s sake. Give me strength to trust You to rightly order and direct my steps. In the Name of Jesus Christ, my Good Shepherd and the Captain of my soul, I pray. Amen.

Click here to hear my testimony of how God changed me from a pro-life atheist to pro-life Christian.