Category: Continuing Pregnancy

Sharing Comfort – 2 Corinthians 1 – 2025 Day 252

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Psalm 40; 2 Corinthians 1

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer.

2 Corinthians 1:3-6 ESV

I’m a member of an elite group of women, but it’s a group that I never signed up for and that I never wanted to join: moms who have lost a baby. I have two children waiting in heaven for me, neither of which I ever held in my arms. The first was just a little gummy bear when he went straight to heaven. The other was six inches long with ten fingers, ten toes, and a very big belly.

As much as I never wanted to join the “Moms of Heavenly Babies” club, now I’m thankful to be a member. I have learned so much through the pain about God and myself. My confidence that God is real and on His throne, and that He truly is the God of comfort, is a direct result of this grief.

God has used this affliction to minister through me to many other women. In fact, God opened the doors for me to found an online ministry and even write a book.

Is there a trial that you’re walking through right now or have walked through in the past? How has God used it for good? How can you comfort someone else with the comfort you received from Him?

Heavenly Father, I thank You for the cross on which Jesus died, His blood poured out for me. I thank You for the example that He gave of suffering pain that others might experience joy and comfort. Help me, Father, to bear my cross with joy and thanksgiving, looking to You and to the promise of eternal life of heaven. Let me not grow weary or faint, for my hope is built on the solid rock of Jesus Christ. Please use my testimony for the building up of the body. Help me to comfort others with the comfort that I’ve received from Your Word and Your presence. In the matchless name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.

I Need Thee Every Hour – Fernando Ortega

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The Rollercoaster Ride of Life – Psalm 16, Acts 17, Joshua 13 – Today’s PODCAST – Embedded

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The Rollercoaster Ride of Life – Psalm 16, Joshua 13 Podcast
A Pro-life Atheist shares her story of becoming a Pro-life Christian

The Rollercoaster Ride of Life – Joshua 13 – 2025 Day 228

Published on by kendraske1 Comment

Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Psalm 16, Joshua 13

See this rollercoaster? It’s called “Runaway Mine Train.” If you ever find yourself in St Louis, you can go to Six Flags and ride it yourself. The Mine Train is about the only rollercoaster ride that I’ll go on.

I don’t like rollercoasters that shoot you out going 100 mph. I don’t like rollercoasters that make you travel backwards or through endless dark tunnels. I don’t like rollercoasters that make you spin around in circles and leave you dizzy. I prefer a more sedate, predictable ride with just a few bumps and turns.

Over 25 years ago, we found out that the much-planned-for baby that I was carrying had passed away in my womb. Less than a month earlier I’d walked into my doctor’s office for what I thought would be a routine 12-week checkup, absolutely unaware that the entire course of my life was about to change. That day I had the first of a series ultrasounds which revealed that my unborn son had a fully obstructed bladder, followed by an amniocentesis to check for generic anomalies, and ultimately in-utero surgery. The rollercoaster ride I hadn’t signed up for came to an abrupt halt with the words, “I’m sorry, Mrs. Endraske. We can’t find a heartbeat.”

But, God.

God had different plans for me and my family. God had a different little boy in mind to grow up in my family. God was at work behind the scenes for who He wanted to be my oldest son. This journey, too, would feel like a runaway rollercoaster ride, but this time the ride included the prize of a beautiful little boy in my arms.

There have been plenty of situations in my fifty-plus years of life that I never would’ve chosen for myself. Twists and turns, highs and lows, that I wish I’d never taken.

But, God.

El Roi, the God who sees, is the One who has expertly laid out the tracks that my life has run on. Though my life has all too often felt completely out-of-control, the truth is that God has been guiding and directing my course.

  • My heart had planned my way, but the Lord is who established my steps. (Proverbs 16:9)
  • Many have been the plans of my mind, but it has been the purpose of the Lord that has stood. (Proverbs 19:21)
  • The Lord’s plans have been for my welfare and hope, not for my harm (Jeremiah 29:11-14).

The roller coaster ride of my life has compelled me to seek God, rather than merely coasting down the paths I would have chosen for myself. He used this valley to equip me to start the “A Child of Promise” online ministry and write a book for parents continuing their pregnancy following a poor or fatal prenatal prognosis.

The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.

The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

I bless the LORD who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.

I have set the LORD always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure.

For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

Psalm 16:5-11 ESV

How about you? Are you on a ride of life right now that you’re thinking, “I didn’t sign up for this?” Are you looking frantically for the escape hatch? What do you think the Lord is teaching you in the process?

Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father, Your ways are higher and better than ours. You hold my life, my future, in Your Almighty hand. You are on Your sovereign throne. Help me trust You. Even when I’m walking through dark valleys, help me remember that You are with me, holding my hand and guiding me in the paths of righteousness for Your Name’s sake. Give me strength to trust You to rightly order and direct my steps. In the Name of Jesus Christ, my Good Shepherd and the Captain of my soul, I pray. Amen.

No One Ever Cared for Me like Jesus – Melody Joy Williams
Midnight Cry – Ivan Parker (Gaither) – This song really ministered to me when I was grieving.

Click here to hear my testimony of how God changed me from a pro-life atheist to pro-life Christian.

Now My Eye Sees You – Job 42 – 2025 Day 85

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Read Through the Bible in 2 Years: Job 42; Psalm 53

“And the LORD blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning.
And he had 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 yoke of oxen, and 1,000 female donkeys. He had also seven sons and three daughters.”

Job 42:12-13 ESV

In Job 1, we read that Job had 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen and 500 female donkeys. Here at the end of his life, Job has twice as many of these animals. Yet in Job 1, we read that Job had seven sons and three daughters and now at the end of his life, he once again is given seven sons and three daughters. Why was the number of his children not doubled?

Let me share with you my thoughts: When Job’s first animals were wiped out and he got new animals, he no longer counted the ones he had earlier in his life … but children, they are different. Our children are made in God’s image and are given eternal souls. Our children are irreplaceable. If your child passes away, they remain your child. I have two children who have gone to heaven before me and I have four children here on earth, therefore I have six children.

Job began his life with ten children and he ended his life with twenty. The Lord had indeed given him a double portion.

The pain of losing all of your animals is great, but the pain of losing all of your children is immeasurably greater. But may I encourage you with this word: the pain is great because your love is great.

Job was a righteous man with a deep love for God, but Job grew to know and love God more intimately and personally as a result of his great pain – and so can we. Earlier we read the words of Job, “Behold, my eye has seen all this, my ear has heard and understood it.” (Job 13:1 ESV) But now at the end of this book, Job says, “I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you;” (Job 42:5 ESV)

I remember all too well how much the Lord grew and transformed me through the pain of losing a baby. I pray that whatever trial you are going through now or have gone through in the past, that you will keep your eyes wide open to see God as He walks with you through this dark valley.

Heavenly Father, please grow our faith. Help us to see Your hand guiding us and blessing us every step of the way as we walk through this valley. You are always good and always right. You are all-knowing and all-powerful. We need You every hour.

We pray that we will know how deep and high and long and wide is Your love toward us as Your children. We pray that we will see You in our lives and see You in Your living and active Word because we know that You are there. In the Name of Christ Jesus our Lord we pray, Amen.

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Click here for more information about my Read Through the Bible in Two Years plan.

If you would like prayer, please leave a comment below or send me a message. I’m happy to pray for you.

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You Are So Good to Me – Mac Powell
Watch my testimony for more on how I came to see God more clearly after losing a baby.

Though He Slay Me – Job 13-14 – 2025 Day 66

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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Job 13-14; Psalm 34

You can feel Job wrestling between how he feels in his heart and what he knows is true in his mind. On the one hand, Job wishes that God would go far away from him and leave him alone, yet he knows that God is good and his only hope for salvation.

Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever wrestled between your mind and your emotions?

And in the middle of that wrestling Job says these nine profound words.

Though He slay me, I will hope in Him.

Job 13:15a

Can we say that with Job? Can we maintain our hope in Christ even when life is crashing down around us.

No matter what God puts us through, He is still our only hope, and what is life without hope? How can we get through the tragedies of daily life without trusting in a good and Sovereign God?

Truly He is our only hope in life and death.

Heavenly Father, thank You for the hope that we have in this life, that even our pain has purpose. Thank You for the hope that we have in eternity, that You will wipe every tear from our eyes and we will behold Your glory face to face.

We lift up our grieving brothers and sisters to You and ask You to encourage them. Please do not take Your hand from them, even when they ask You to. Hold them close in Your hand even when they’re in the fire.

We love You and worship You and thank You for giving us the book of Job that we might know that we are never alone.

In the name of Jesus Christ we pray, Amen.

Would you like to receive my daily blog posts sent directly to your email? Subscribe for free by entering your email below.

✓ Subscribed

Click here for more information about my Read Through the Bible in Two Years plan.

If you would like prayer, please leave a comment below or send me a message. I’m happy to pray for you.

Please like and share.

Though You Slay Me – Shane and Shane, featuring John Piper
Christ our Hope in Life and Death – Keith & Kristyn Getty, Matt Papa

Sharing Comfort

Published on by kendraskeLeave a comment

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer.

2 Corinthians 1:3-6 ESV

I’m a member of an elite group of women, but it’s a group that I never signed up for and that I never wanted to join: moms who have lost a baby. I have two children waiting in heaven for me, neither of which I ever held in my arms. The first was just a little gummy bear when he went straight to heaven. The other was six inches long with ten fingers, ten toes, and a very big belly.

As much as I never wanted to join the “Moms of Heavenly Babies” club, now I’m thankful to be a member. I have learned so much through the pain about God and myself. My confidence that God is real and on His throne, and that He truly is the God of comfort, is a direct result of this grief.

God has used this affliction to minister through me to many other women. In fact, God opened the doors for me to found an online ministry and even write a book.

Is there a trial that you’re walking through right now or have walked through in the past? How has God used it for good? How can you comfort someone else with the comfort you received from Him?

Heavenly Father, I thank You for the cross on which Jesus died, His blood poured out for me. I thank You for the example that He gave of suffering pain that others might experience joy and comfort. Help me, Father, to bear my cross with joy and thanksgiving, looking to You and to the promise of eternal life of heaven. Let me not grow weary or faint, for my hope is built on the solid rock of Jesus Christ. Please use my testimony for the building up of the body. Help me to comfort others with the comfort that I’ve received from Your Word and Your presence. In the matchless name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.

The Rollercoaster Ride of Life

Published on by kendraskeLeave a comment

Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Joshua 12:1-14:5

See this rollercoaster? It’s called “Runaway Mine Train.” If you ever find yourself in St Louis, you can go to Six Flags and ride it yourself. The Mine Train is about the only rollercoaster ride that I’ll go on.

I don’t like rollercoasters that shoot you out going 100 mph. I don’t like rollercoasters that make you travel backwards or through endless dark tunnels. I don’t like rollercoasters that make you spin around in circles and leave you dizzy. I prefer a more sedate, predictable ride with just a few bumps and turns.

25 years ago today, we found out that the much-planned-for baby that I was carrying had passed away in my womb. Less than a month earlier I’d walked into my doctor’s office for what I thought would be a routine 12-week checkup, absolutely unaware that the entire course of my life was about to change. That day I had the first of a series ultrasounds which revealed that my unborn son had a fully obstructed bladder, followed by an amniocentesis to check for generic anomalies, and ultimately in-utero surgery. The rollercoaster ride I hadn’t signed up for came to an abrupt halt with the words, “I’m sorry, Mrs. Endraske. We can’t find a heartbeat.”

But, God.

God had different plans for me and my family. God had a different little boy in mind to grow up in my family. God was at work behind the scenes for who He wanted to be my oldest son. This journey, too, would feel like a runaway rollercoaster ride, but this time the ride included the prize of a beautiful little boy in my arms.

There have been plenty of situations in my fifty years of life that I never would’ve chosen for myself. Twists and turns, highs and lows, that I wish I’d never taken.

But, God.

El Roi, the God who sees, is the One who has expertly laid out the tracks that my life has run on. Though my life has all too often felt completely out-of-control, the truth is that God has been guiding and directing my course.

My heart had planned my way, but the Lord is who established my steps. (Proverbs 16:9)

Many have been the plans of my mind, but it has been the purpose of the Lord that has stood. (Proverbs 19:21)

The Lord’s plans have been for my welfare and hope, not for my harm (Jeremiah 29:11-14).

The roller coaster ride of my life has compelled me to seek God, rather than merely coasting down the paths I would have chosen for myself.

How about you? Are you on a ride of life right now that you’re thinking, “I didn’t sign up for this?” Are you looking frantically for the escape hatch? What do you think the Lord is teaching you in the process?

Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father, Your ways are higher and better than ours. You hold my life, my future in Your Almighty hand. You are on Your sovereign throne. Help me trust You. Even when I’m walking through dark valleys, help me remember that You are with me, holding my hand and guiding me in the paths of righteousness for Your Name’s sake. Give me strength to trust You to rightly order and direct my steps. In the Name of Jesus Christ, my Good Shepherd and the Captain of my soul, I pray. Amen.

A Child of Promise

Published on by kendraskeLeave a comment

Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Romans 9

Twenty-five years ago, in July of 1998, I found out I was pregnant with my second child. Our first daughter was two years old, and I was overjoyed that we were expecting again. Unfortunately, during a routine 12-week ultrasound, we discovered that our unborn son had a bladder obstruction. His bladder was as big as his head. This wasn’t good.

On September 10, the doctors attempted an in-utero procedure to place a stent to drain Tommy’s bladder into the amniotic sac, but the procedure was unsuccessful and four days later we found out that he had passed away in my womb.

When we first learned that Tommy had an obstructed bladder, I prayed for God to either heal him completely or take him quickly, but after losing him, I would have given anything for one more month or even one more day. I wanted to feel him move again in my empty womb anf see my belly grow big and round and full with him. I would have loved for him to grow big enough for me to bathe him and take his little handprints, even if I had had to do those things after he had died.

Friends, there is no better way or better time to lose your child. You are never ready for it. It all hurts.

But this devastating experience grew my faith exponentially. I leaned into the Lord and His Word like never before. I began praying and reading the Bible in earnest, and I learned to trust God like never before.

I ended up founding an online ministry and writing a book called A Child of Promise – part story, part Bible Study, part journal – for other moms and dads who found themselves in the position of carrying an unborn baby with a poor or fatal prognosis.

God used this pain not only for my own good, but also for the good of other hurting families. Like our reading in Romans 9, God is the trustworthy potter in each of our lives. He has mercy on those He wills, and He hardens those whom He wills. And all I can say is that I’m thankful for His sovereign, merciful hand that shaped both me and my son.

Heavenly Father, I know that You are good. I know that You are sovereign over heaven and earth. I trust You even when it’s hard. I pray for my hurting sisters. I pray that You will encourage them and fill them with Your supernatural peace that surpasses understanding. Be their calm in the storm. Hold their hand as they walk through the fire, and carry them when they can’t take one more step. I pray that Your Word would be a light to their feet and a light to their paths, pointing them straight to You. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.

I Know – Big Daddy Weave

Now My Eye Sees You

Published on by kendraskeLeave a comment

Read Through the Bible in 2 Years: Job 40-42

“And the LORD blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning.
And he had 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 yoke of oxen, and 1,000 female donkeys. He had also seven sons and three daughters.”

Job 42:12-13 ESV

In Job 1, we read that Job had 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen and 500 female donkeys. Here at the end of his life, Job has twice as many of these animals. Yet in Job 1, we read that Job had seven sons and three daughters and now at the end of his life, he once again is given seven sons and three daughters. Why was the number of his children not doubled?

Let me share with you my thoughts: When Job’s first animals were wiped out and he got new animals, he no longer counted the ones he had earlier in his life … but children, they are different. Our children are made in God’s image and are given eternal souls. Our children are irreplaceable. If your child passes away, they remain your child. I have two children who have gone to heaven before me and I have four children here on earth, therefore I have six children.

Job began his life with ten children and he ended his life with twenty. The Lord had indeed given him a double portion.

The pain of losing all of your animals is great, but the pain of losing all of your children is immeasurably greater. But may I encourage you with this word: the pain is great because your love is great.

Job was a righteous man with a deep love for God, but Job grew to know and love God more intimately and personally as a result of his great pain – and so can we. Earlier we read the words of Job, “Behold, my eye has seen all this, my ear has heard and understood it.” (Job 13:1 ESV) But now at the end of this book, Job says, “I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you;” (Job 42:5 ESV)

I remember all too well how much the Lord grew and transformed me through the pain of losing a baby. I pray that whatever trial you are going through now or have gone through in the past, that you will keep your eyes wide open to see God as He walks with you through this dark valley.

Heavenly Father, please grow our faith. Help us to see Your hand guiding us and blessing us every step of the way as we walk through this valley. You are always good and always right. You are all-knowing and all-powerful. We need You every hour. We pray that we will know how deep and high and long and wide is Your love toward us as Your children. We pray that we will see You in our lives and see You in Your living and active Word because we know that You are there. In the Name of Christ Jesus our Lord we pray, Amen.

Watch my testimony for more on how I came to see God more clearly after losing a baby

21 years ago

Published on by teachwhatisgood1 Comment

21 years ago, Thomas William Endraske was silently born, making his public entrance into the world. He was not welcomed with balloons or stuffed animals, but with tears. He was not greeted by scores of relatives, but this Mama Bear loved all six inches of his tiny, pink unmoving form.

His birth was the capstone of a two-week attempt to save his life, and my life will never be the same.

This baby boy’s life and death changed this mommy’s life for the better. I’d heard of grief before and I’d seen others grieve before, but this was my first experience with grief myself, and it prompted my first step onto a fork in the road ahead. I moved from a wider path of comfort to a narrower path of faith and obedience. And I’m thankful.

I wonder today how different my life would be if he’d never been conceived at all. Would I have ever adopted his brother, Nick? Would I have ever begun praying and studying and feasting on God’s Word? Would I have homeschooled his big sister Emily, willingly sacrificing my own comfort and time for hers? Would I now be a mother of four living children or would I have stopped after two? Would I believe without a doubt that children are the greatest blessing that God can ever give to a woman?

So today, on Tommy’s birthday, I say, “Thank You, God, for creating him.”

“Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things and by your will they existed and were created.” Revelation 4:11

I’ve written a book called, “A Child Of Promise” for parents who are continuing their pregnancy after they know something is wrong with their unborn baby. It is available on Amazon. Today and tomorrow, in honor of Tommy’s birthday, the Kindle version is available at a discounted rate.