Category: Former Atheist

Please, Lord, Send Someone Else!

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Exodus 4

Have you ever felt inadequate? Incapable? Inept? Have you ever felt like there was no way you could accomplish the task that has been set before you? Maybe you feel that way right now.

Maybe you can relate all too well to Moses’s words,

“Oh, my Lord,
please send someone else.”

Exodus 4:13 ESV

As a new homeschooling mom, I struggled for years with those kinds of feelings. “God, I can’t do this! It’s too hard! I don’t know what I’m doing! I’m going to ruin them! They’d be better off at school!”

So, every spring I’d make an appointment to go visit the local Christian school, and my husband and I would reconsider sending our kids there. But every spring we instead chose to recommit ourselves to the task that the Lord had given us to disciple our children at home.

This spring marks my 21st year homeschooling. I’ve successfully graduated my oldest three children, and only my youngest one is still home. I no longer visit the local Christian school every year and I no longer struggle with those feelings of inadequacy when it comes to homeschooling my son.

The Lord has grown both my skills and my faith. And the Lord has proven Himself so very faithful to give my family what we need to complete the tasks that He has given to us.

But, friends, what if I had chosen to send my kids to school? What if I had complained and complained and complained and refused the task that the Lord had called me to? What then?

Well, here’s what I think — I think God would’ve sent someone else. Like God sent Aaron to help complete the job, God would’ve sent someone else to teach my children. My kids would’ve learned to read and write and spell under someone else’s instruction, and I would’ve missed the blessing of having discipled my kids hour after hour and day after day and year after year.

My children would’ve missed the blessings of figuring out how to get along with each other. My children would’ve missed the blessings of doing chores together and memorizing the Bible together and singing off key together. But they would’ve gotten through school somehow.

God would’ve made a way, because He is God, and my children are His workmanship.

Listen, friends, if you don’t tell that person at the grocery store about Jesus, God will send someone else. If you don’t share the gospel with that lady sitting next to you at your son’s Little League baseball game, God will send someone else. If you don’t raise your children to trust in Christ, God will send someone else. I’m walking proof of that.

  • Jonah tried to run, but God sent a whale to change his mind.
  • Pharaoh tried to kill all the Hebrew baby boys, but Moses was spared.
  • Saul tried to wipe out the Christians, but God chose to open his eyes and open his mouth and make him His mouthpiece for the gospel.

God’s purposes will stand. No purpose of His can be thwarted. (Job 42:2) You aren’t that important. You aren’t that powerful. You can’t stand in God’s way.

But, friends, the joys and blessings that you’ll miss!!! Oh, to look back on the fullness of the last 21 years! To remember how the Lord carried us. To see how the Lord worked in me and through me, growing me and growing my kids – I would’ve missed it. To see people that I’ve discipled grow in their faith, there’s nothing like it. I don’t want to miss fulfilling God’s calling … and neither do you!

So, friends, let me encourage you — don’t be like Moses, complaining that you can’t do it and begging God to send someone else.

Rather, remember the words of Mordecai to Esther,

“For if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance will rise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”

Esther 4:14

Isaiah 14:27 ESV — For the LORD of hosts has purposed, and who will annul it? His hand is stretched out, and who will turn it back?

Daniel 4:35 ESV — all the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, and he does according to his will among the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth; and none can stay his hand or say to him, “What have you done?”

Proverbs 19:21 ESV — Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.

Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father, What a blessing it is to have a purpose in this life. What a blessing it is to be Your workmanship and to know that You have prepared in advance good works for me to do and that I can walk in them by Your Spirit in me. What a blessing it is to be Your child and to serve you! I pray that I will be faithful to accomplish each of the tasks that You have given me to do. I pray that my eyes will be fixed on You, the one who is able to do more than I could ever ask or imagine, the God of the impossible. Help me not to trust in my own strength or my own abilities, but to trust in You who is able to do all things. It is in the mighty name of Jesus Christ that I pray, Amen.

The Spreading Power of Persecution

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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Exodus 1

But the more they were oppressed, the more they multiplied and the more they spread abroad.

Exodus 1:12a

I recently read a quote that went something like, “When the authorities loosen their grip, the gospel spreads … and when the authorities tighten their grip, the church is trained and becomes more disciplined … but always we are in God’s hands.”

Today in reading the story of the persecution of the young Hebrew nation in Exodus 1, I saw the Lord’s hand in both spreading and training His people, but in this case, persecution is actually what caused the people to spread abroad.

Isn’t that what happened in the dispersion of the new disciples of Jesus Christ who were persecuted for their faith? And how about what happened when God confused the people’s languages at the tower of Babel in Genesis 11? God’s people were dispersed over the face of all the earth as a result of their suffering and hardship, but all the time they were in God’s hands.

I am reminded again and again as I read through the scriptures that my ways are not God’s ways. So often the very thing that seems straight from the pit of hell is exactly what God uses for His glory and my good – if I only keep my eyes open to it. No matter what, I can trust that I am in God’s hands.

Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father, Help us to trust You no matter what. Help us to believe that You are in control even when life feels out of control. You are always on Your throne. You are working all things together for good. Let us not be ashamed of the gospel for it is the power of God for salvation for all who believe, both the Jew and the Gentile. Help us to want for the good even of those who persecute us and shame us and say all kinds of evil about us falsely on Your account. We love You and we trust You. Increase our faith, Father. In the matchless name of Jesus Christ we pray. Amen.

Giving Back to Him

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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Matthew 26

I remember the first time I heard the song, “Alabaster Box.” It wasn’t Cece Winans’ famous version that I’ve linked below. Rather it was a dear friend who sang it through tears. The words touched my heart in such a profound way that I still think of it now, ten years later, every time I read the story of the very grateful woman in Matthew 26 who was willing to make such a sacrifice for Jesus who had changed her life.

Many people have a hard time understanding why I have wrapped my whole life around Jesus. Why is my every day consumed with thoughts of Him, service to Him? Why can’t I just talk about something else? What’s the big deal?

Well, have you ever read one of those touching stories about an organ donor and a profoundly grateful recipient? Someone is on the verge of death because of a failing heart or kidneys, when they are suddenly given a second lease on life because of someone else’s selfless sacrifice. They are overwhelmed with gratitude. They can’t put into words how much they appreciate this priceless gift. They would do anything to try to pay back that person who saved their loved one’s life – or their own.

My friends, that’s how I feel. Jesus has given me everything. He has given me a new lease not only on this present life, but for all eternity. And now everything in my life is seen through these lenses of profound gratitude.

Alabaster Box

I can’t forget the way life used to be
I was a prisoner to the sin that had me bound
And I spent my days
Poured my life without measure
Into a little treasure box
I’d thought I’d found
Until the day when Jesus came to me
And healed my soul
With the wonder of His touch
So now I’m giving back to Him
All the praise He’s worthy of
I’ve been forgiven
And that’s why
I love Him so much

And I’ve come to pour my praise on Him
Like oil from Mary’s alabaster box
Don’t be angry if I wash His feet with my tears
And dry them with my hair
You weren’t there the night Jesus found me
You did not feel what I felt
When He wrapped his loving arms around me and
You don’t know the cost of the oil
Oh, you don’t know the cost of my praise
You don’t know the cost of the oil
In my alabaster box

Will you pray with me?

Heavenly Father, I am eternally grateful for all You have done for me. It is a joy to pour out my life for You. It is just a tiny offering to give back to You who has given me everything – my very breath and life and joy and peace and hope and purpose and everything I have – it is all Yours. My cup indeed runs over, and it spills out praise for You. Thank You. Thank You. Thank You. You are worthy of every ounce of my life. I pray in the name of Jesus Christ who gave Himself for me. Amen.

Alabaster Box by Cece Winans

The Man on the Middle Cross Said I Could Come

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Matthew 22

“Then he said to his servants, ‘The wedding feast is ready, but those invited were not worthy. Go therefore to the main roads and invite to the wedding feast as many as you find.’ And those servants went out into the roads and gathered all whom they found, both bad and good. So the wedding hall was filled with guests.

“But when the king came in to look at the guests, he saw there a man who had no wedding garment. And he said to him, ‘Friend, how did you get in here without a wedding garment?’ And he was speechless.

Then the king said to the attendants, ‘Bind him hand and foot and cast him into the outer darkness. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'”

Matthew 22:8-13 ESV

I remember one time shortly after moving to the South when I went to a moms-night-out for homeschooling moms. The social was in the evening, and it was being hosted in a fellow homeschooling mom’s home. I showed up in what I’d been wearing all day – what I wore every day – a Christian t-shirt and jeans. My curly hair was unbrushed and my face was make-up free. I walked into that room full of strangers and immediately wanted to turn around and walk back to the car.

Apparently I’d missed the memo: “Before you come, make sure you brush your hair, and put on some makeup and stylish mom-wear.”

This is not at all what Jesus was referring to in this parable of the wedding feast. Jesus doesn’t care about your makeup. He doesn’t care if you’ve brushed your hair or put on that cute new outfit. He doesn’t care how much money is in your bank account, or how many square feet are in your home, or which side of the train tracks you live on. He doesn’t care how tall you are or what color your skin is. He doesn’t care about your ACT score or what kind of grades you got in high school. In fact, He doesn’t care whether you’re from the North or the South, the East or the West.

The banqueting table of the Lord is long and wide. He has invited all kinds of people – men and women, rich and poor, and every shade of skin, eye, and hair color – to His wedding feast.

Like Jesus’s parable of the net (Matthew 13:47-50), every kind of fish will be gathered – trout and salmon and tuna and brim and red snapper – at the end of the age. But, ultimately, there are only two kinds of fish: good fish and bad fish.

When you breathe your last breath, what’s going to matter is this: Are you wearing a wedding garment?

There will only be two choices: Yes or No. There’s no A, B, C and D on this test. You either have a wedding garment or you don’t.

And there’s only one way to get those wedding garments. They must be given to you by the groom, the Messiah, Jesus Christ, the man on the middle cross.

So, I’ve got to ask you: Has Jesus given you the wedding garments? Or are you trying to get in with your own clothes, not realizing they are only filthy rags?

Friends, God knows your heart. No amount of makeup or hair styling or clothing or good deeds can cover up your need for a Savior.

“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.

And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.”

Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”

And he said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. The one who conquers will have this heritage, and I will be his God and he will be my son. But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.””

Revelation 21:1-8 ESV

“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 ESV

Have you been given the groom’s pure white wedding clothes?

Have your sins been washed away by blood of the Lamb?

May today be the day of salvation, and may we be faithful heralds of the good news of salvation through faith in Jesus Christ.

Heavenly Father, I come humbly before Your throne of grace and ask You to send out Your Word to draw many into Your kingdom, to clothe them in the pure white garments of the Lamb without blemish. Fill us with Your Holy Spirit and make us hate our sin like You do. Be our God and make us Your people. Make us new and wash us clean in the spring of living water. Thank You for Your grace. In the name of Jesus Christ we pray, Amen.

The Tale of Two Sons

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Read Through the Bible in 2 Years: Matthew 21

“”A man had two sons. And he went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work in the vineyard today.’ And he answered, ‘I will not,’ but afterward he changed his mind and went.

And he went to the other son and said the same. And he answered, ‘I go, sir,’ but did not go.

Which of the two did the will of his father?” They said, “The first.”

Jesus said to them, “Truly, I say to you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came to you in the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes believed him. And even when you saw it, you did not afterward change your minds and believe him.”

Matthew 21:28-32 ESV

Think of how deeply this parable must have resonated with Matthew. I can just imagine Matthew writing furiously, trying to record every word as Jesus spoke. Matthew had been a tax collector when the Lord called him. Yet, Matthew was a Jew, grieving that his fellow Jews were missing the Messiah! Matthew was like that first son who had said, “I will not,” but later had obeyed. Matthew himself had rejected the ways of God, but later Jesus had “changed his mind and he had believed” like he wrote in verse 32.

I’m so thankful that the Lord led Matthew to record this parable for us. And I’m doubly thankful that the Lord has made a way for those of us who were once running headlong away from God – like Matthew and like me – to enter the kingdom. Let’s pray for those who think they are following God, who are saying with their lips, “Oh, yes, sir, I’m going,” but who are heading the wrong direction, trusting in their own good deeds to be saved, rather than the finished work of Jesus Christ.

Heavenly Father, I lift up before Your throne of grace those who think they are following you, those who think they are heading toward you, but will one day hear, ‘I never knew you, depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.” I pray that You would open their eyes and soften their hearts to the truth that we can only be saved through trusting in the finished work of Jesus Christ. Wake them up to this reality before it’s too late. In the Good and Gracious Name of Jesus Christ I pray, Amen.

Living like Jesus

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Read Through the Bible in 2 Years: Matthew 20

Whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.

Matthew 20:26b-28 ESV

Being a disciple is more than just being a student. Being a disciple is modeling your life after your teacher.

Jesus modeled for us what it meant to serve, giving up his own life — not just preaching and healing and multiplying bread — but being a servant even to the point of death.

If you’re like me, it’s hard to get your husband a glass of water from the kitchen. If you’re like me, it’s hard to clean up after your kids. If you’re like me, it’s hard to put down Facebook and to pick up the phone and make a real live call to a needy friend.

But … I do it even though it’s hard, because I want others to be able to model their lives after mine, as I model my life after my Master’s.

My children are watching me. My sisters are watching me. Those who don’t know Christ yet are watching me. You are watching me.

Am I the real deal? I want to be.

Am I perfect? No, I’m not. Only God is perfect. But I’m not who I was…. And I pray that my changed life is evidence of Christ in me and the transforming power of the Holy Spirit.

I am no longer my own. I’ve been bought with a price and Christ has changed me from the inside out. I want to be a walking billboard that says, “I’M A NEW CREATION! CHRIST HAS MADE ME NEW! THE OLD IS GONE! BEHOLD THE NEW HAS COME!”

Heavenly Father, make us more like your son. Help us to die to ourselves and live for You. Help us to remember that Jesus died for us and that we have the power through the Holy Spirit to overwhelmingly conquer! Teach us to be servants – Servants of Christ and Servants of our neighbor. In the name of Jesus Christ, our Perfect Master and Teacher and King. Amen.

Who then can be saved?

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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Matthew 19

“When the disciples heard this,
they were greatly astonished, saying,
“Who then can be saved?”
But Jesus looked at them and said,
“With man this is impossible,
but with God all things are possible.”

Matthew 19:25-26 ESV

29 years ago, in April of 1994, I was an outspoken evangelical atheist, having a discussion with a Christian young man when – in a brief moment of humility – I asked a question that would change the course of my life, “What does it mean to be saved?”

You see this young man kept using this word “saved” but I didn’t know what it meant in the context in which he was using it. A person saved money. A person saved someone who was drowning in a pool. You might save a dog that you found wandering the streets. But, what did that have to do with God and faith and heaven?

And for the first time in my life I heard the gospel, the good news of Jesus the Christ. I heard that I was a sinner; that Jesus’ death had paid the penalty for my sins; and that through trusting in His death and resurrection, I could receive forgiveness, enjoy eternal life, and know that my life had meaning and purpose.

That very night, not fully understanding what I was getting myself into, I asked Jesus to forgive me of my sins. I acknowledged Him as Savior and
Lord of my life, and my life has never been the same.

Despite growing up in America, I had never understood that Jesus was God in flesh. I had never understood why He had died on the cross. I didn’t understand why Easter and Christmas were celebrated. I didn’t know who Esther or Paul were. I didn’t know the popular Bible verse, John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” In fact, I didn’t know that “John” was a book in the Bible. I didn’t even know the simple children’s song, “Jesus Loves Me.”

1 Corinthians 1:18 says, “For the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.” I am
so thankful that when the time was right, God opened my eyes to be able to see the truth and the truth has set me free from my slavery to sin.

Are you saved? Go tell others the good news!

Are you running from God, unsure if He’s real and good? I’d love to pray for you.

Heavenly Father, I am praying for those who have been running away from You. I pray that today they would take the time to reach out, to read the Bible, to pray, to seek You. I pray that they would put it off no longer, but that today would be the beginning of a search for truth — and that they would find You. Your word says that if someone seeks You with all their heart that they will find You. I know that is true because Your Word is true, so I pray that they would seek You earnestly and faithfully. Open their eyes and send people to share the gospel with them, like You sent Bill to me. In the Mighty name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

If you’d like to read more of my story, you can get a copy of my book on Amazon.

The Whole Truth of the Easter Story

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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Matthew 13

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was thrown into the sea and gathered fish of every kind. When it was full, men drew it ashore and sat down and sorted the good into containers but threw away the bad. So it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come out and separate the evil from the righteous and throw them into the fiery furnace. In that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

Matthew 13:47-50

From beginning to end of Matthew 13, Jesus was faithful to tell the whole truth, not just half the truth, for half the truth isn’t really the truth. If you only say “When you die the angels will come and take you to heaven,” but you don’t also explain that all the evil people (that’s me apart from my faith in Christ!) will be thrown into the fiery furnace, you are not really telling the truth.

Friends, please know that I’m writing these words to myself, because I need to hear them, but I hope they will encourage you as well. I want so desperately for people to be saved, that sometimes I only want to tell them the “Happy News about Eternal Life” … but the truth is that no one can fully appreciate the good news of the gospel until they’ve understood that every single one of us are sinners who deserve hell apart from the saving work of Jesus Christ.

So long as you think that you are a good person, and that you are going to heaven by your own merit, then, who needs Jesus?

May the words of Christ fall on fertile soil and bear much fruit! Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father, thank You for Your grace in telling us the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Thank You for explaining to us that every one of us is a sinner deserving of hell. Thank You for the best news I’ve ever heard – that Jesus Christ paid the price for my sin by His death on the cross, and that by believing in Him I have been saved from the fiery furnace of hell and will live with You in heaven for all eternity. This is truly the most awesome, wonderful, fantastic, marvelous news I could ever hear! May we share this truth every day of the year, but especially this weekend as we remember the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ. In the name of Jesus, my Savior, I pray, Amen.

Come to Me and I will give you Rest

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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Matthew 11

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

Matthew 11:28-29 ESV

I don’t only love this verse today because “Come” is my 2023 Word of the Year. I love this verse because I am often laboring in my own strength. I often feel heavy laden. I am often tired and worn out and exhausted. I often need rest.

Yet, if I were sitting across the table from you and I said to you, “I’m so tired. I really need some rest. What should I do?”

And your answer to me was, “Oh, sister, I hear you! Here, I’ve got an idea. Why don’t you take my yoke upon you? That will make your life easier.”

After wanting to laugh aloud, and after thinking you must have taken lessons from Job’s friends, giving me very bad advice, I might remember Galatians 6:2 ESV — “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” And then I would sincerely thank you and ask you to pray for me and ask you to do some small tasks for me like cook a meal or drive my child somewhere, for that would surely be a blessing!

It certainly is a blessing to have friends to plow alongside, to labor in the field with. Jesus sent out his disciples two by two for a reason. We need friends to help us along this road of life.

But, unfortunately, you cannot truly relieve my burden, for you have your own burdens to bear.

Only Jesus can carry the yoke for me.

Only He can make my burden truly light.

Let’s pray.

Lord, I come. I lay all of my burdens down at Your feet. I cast all my cares upon You. I know that all my striving is for nothing, for Your purpose will stand for You are sovereign and all powerful and all knowing and good. I trust You. I know that I will only find my rest in You. Your yoke is easy and Your burden is light because You are the almighty God, ruler of the universe, who sees me and knows me by name. My soul finds rest in You and You alone. Amen.

I Cast All my Cares – Psalty

Into the fire

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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Matthew 3

“His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor and gather his wheat into the barn, but the chaff he will burn with unquenchable fire.” Matthew 3:12 ESV

John the Baptizer was calling the people to repent, and so does Jesus. A time is coming when each of us will stand before the throne of God and be judged. Are you ready?

If God asked you why He should let you into heaven, what would you say?

  • I’m a good person.
  • I go to church.
  • I read my Bible.
  • The good I’ve done outweighs the bad.
  • I’m a Christian.
  • Your Son, Jesus Christ, has paid the price for me. His blood has washed away my sins. My faith is in Him and Him alone.

Only one of these is the correct answer. Are you ready to meet God? Have you turned away from your sins and trusted in Jesus Christ for salvation? Have you publicly professed your faith in Him and followed Him in being baptized? If the answer to any of these questions is no, please let today be the day. Don’t delay.

Heavenly Father, thank you for sending Jesus, your son, in the flesh, to be my atoning sacrifice, paying the debt that I could never pay. I pray that you would use me to share this good news with others. I pray that those reading this would trust in your finished work on the cross, repenting of their sins and turning to you for salvation. And the mighty name of Jesus I pray. Amen