Category: Former Atheist

The Humility of Joseph

Published on by kendraskeLeave a comment


Read through the Bible in 2 years: Genesis 40-41

Joseph answered Pharaoh,
“It is not in me;
God will give Pharaoh a favorable answer.”

Genesis 41:16 ESV

I love how God works within space and time to reveal Himself to people. Shortly after reading Genesis 40-41 for my daily Bible reading, I received an email about an article that was published by Premier Unbelievable about my testimony of coming to faith in Christ out of atheism.

In reading Genesis 40-41, I was struck by Joseph’s humility, his insistence that it was God, not him, who revealed the meaning of dreams. Joseph easily could have become puffed up and patted himself on the back for his accomplishments, but he didn’t. You find this same humility in Daniel and Peter and John and Paul.

“Then the mystery was revealed to Daniel in a vision of the night. Then Daniel blessed the God of heaven. Daniel answered and said: “Blessed be the name of God forever and ever, to whom belong wisdom and might. He changes times and seasons; he removes kings and sets up kings; he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding; he reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what is in the darkness, and the light dwells with him. To you, O God of my fathers, I give thanks and praise, for you have given me wisdom and might, and have now made known to me what we asked of you, for you have made known to us the king’s matter.””

Daniel 2:19-23 ESV

“While he clung to Peter and John, all the people, utterly astounded, ran together to them in the portico called Solomon’s. And when Peter saw it he addressed the people: “Men of Israel, why do you wonder at this, or why do you stare at us, as though by our own power or piety we have made him walk? The God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, the God of our fathers, glorified his servant Jesus, whom you delivered over and denied in the presence of Pilate, when he had decided to release him. But you denied the Holy and Righteous One, and asked for a murderer to be granted to you, and you killed the Author of life, whom God raised from the dead. To this we are witnesses. And his name–by faith in his name–has made this man strong whom you see and know, and the faith that is through Jesus has given the man this perfect health in the presence of you all.”

Acts 3:11-16 ESV

“Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you–unless you believed in vain. For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. Then he appeared to more than five hundred brothers at one time, most of whom are still alive, though some have fallen asleep. Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles. Last of all, as to one untimely born, he appeared also to me. For I am the least of the apostles, unworthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me. Whether then it was I or they, so we preach and so you believed.”

1 Corinthians 15:1-11 ESV

I pray that I would do likewise, that when the Lord opens a door for me to speak or serve or act for His glory that all the glory would go to Him and Him alone for He is the only one worthy. All that I am and all that I have is a direct result of His grace that He has lavished on me, a sinner.

I am a sinner saved by grace. I am just a beggar telling you where to find bread. It is only by God’s mercy that I can do anything. He has caused me to be born again to this living hope and I am eternally grateful. His grace compels me. His power gives me strength. His mercy allows me to be merciful.

Let’s pray together.

Oh, Heavenly Father,

Apart from Your grace, we are all just filthy rotten sinners. I remember who I was – I wanted to be good, I wanted to do right, but I could never do it. Everything I did was tainted by conceit and pride and selfishness. I was lost and without hope. I lived under a cloud of fear and darkness.

You have saved me by Your grace. You have taken what was dead and made it alive. You have taken my heart of stone and given me a heart of flesh. And all I can cry is HOLY! WORTHY! Worthy are You to receive all glory and honor and praise. Worthy is the Lamb. You are WORTHY!

My worth is not in myself – not in what I can say or do, not in what I have said or done – my worth is in YOU. You have made me worthy. You have called me YOURS. You have brought me into Your kingdom and set my feet on the rock. You have brought me to Your banqueting table and spread Your banner of love over me. Thank you, Father. Thank You.

In the Mighty and Merciful Name of Jesus I pray, Amen!

My Worth is Not in What I Own – Fernando Ortega & The Gettys

Carried to the Table – Leeland

O Death, Where is your Sting?

Published on by kendraskeLeave a comment

Last fall I was interviewed for a podcast called Side B stories. What an amazing experience!

Premier Unbelievable just released an article about my life. Crazy! God is so amazing! If only I could learn to write as well as the author of this article. WOW! Praise You, Lord!

Here’s a brief excerpt from the article. Click the link to read the rest,

“Former atheist, Kim Endraske, seriously wrestled with this existential reality. Fear of death was her constant companion. But that fear wasn’t enough for her to change her mind about God just to soothe a personal discomfort. After all, atheists are the adults in the room, called to soberly and courageously live with realities, such as death and dying, that may be personally unsettling. They are not to succumb to the childish notions of happily ever after in the afterlife. What was it then that changed Kim’s mind about the reality of God, and through that, lose her fear of death? 

O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?

1 Corinthians 15:55 ESV

“For it was fitting that he, for whom and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, should make the founder of their salvation perfect through suffering. For he who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one source.

That is why he is not ashamed to call them brothers, saying, “I will tell of your name to my brothers; in the midst of the congregation I will sing your praise.” And again, “I will put my trust in him.” And again, “Behold, I and the children God has given me.”

Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery.”

Hebrews 2:10-15
Christ is Risen – Matt Maher

Christ is Risen – Matt Maher

Let no one caught in sin remain
Inside the lie of inward shame
We fix our eyes upon the cross
And run to Him who showed great love

And bled for us
Freely You’ve bled for us

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave
Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with Him again
Come awake, Come awake,
Come and rise up from the grave.

Beneath the weight of all our sin
You bowed to none but heaven’s will
No scheme of hell, no scoffer’s crown
No burden great can hold You down

In strength You reign
Forever let Your church proclaim

Christ is risen from the dead
Trampling over death by death
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

Christ is risen from the dead
We are one with Him again
Come awake, come awake
Come and rise up from the grave

O death, where is your sting?
O hell, where is your victory?
O church, come stand in the light
The glory of God has defeated the night

Yes, Lord, I Believe that You are the Christ, the Son of God

Published on by kendraske1 Comment

Read through the Bible in 2 years: Proverbs 2:1-5; Psalm 9:1-10; John 11

"But when Jesus heard it he said, “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.” - John 11:4

Like the man born blind in John 9: 3, Lazarus’s illness was for the glory of God that the Son of God may be glorified in it.

"Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So, when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was." - John 11:5-6

Jesus loved Martha and Mary and Lazarus… So he stayed away two days longer. God’s ways are not like ours. His timing is not like ours. He has bigger purposes than our ease and comfort. We must fix our eyes on him rather than our circumstances. Paul learned the secret of being content in all circumstances, that he could do all things through Christ who gave him strength. We can live likewise, and as we do Christ will be glorified in our lives.

"... for your sake I am glad that I was not there, so that you may believe....” - John 11:15

Lazarus’s life and death and healing aren’t just about him or even just about his own family. Jesus wants his disciples’ faith to be grown through this tragedy. We need to remember that our brothers and sisters in Christ are watching us and being either encouraged or discouraged by how we live.

"So Thomas, called the Twin, said to his fellow disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.” - John 11:16

Thomas often has a bad rap as the unbelieving disciple, the doubter, but here you see that he was willing to die for Jesus. We, too, as disciples of Christ have our ups and downs, our good moments and are bad moments. Praise the Lord that He knows our hearts, and that He is a just and righteous and all-knowing God who sees us through the cleansing blood of His Son.

"So when Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him, but Mary remained seated in the house." - John 11:20

Martha, too, often has a bad rap, but she was the one who ran out to meet Jesus while Mary stayed in the house. Mary and Martha each have their own unique strengths and weaknesses and God can use both of them for His glory. Martha can learn from Mary, and Mary can learn from Martha, and we can learn from both of them!

I am thankful to have an older sister who is both very different and very similar to me. We were both created in the image of God, but with very unique gifts and purposes.

"But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you.” - John 11:22

Lord, please, give me faith like this! Help me to KNOW the truth! Help me to TRUST that Jesus is the resurrection and the life!

"She said to him, “Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.” - John 11:27

Yes and Amen! Write this on the doorposts of your home and your heart! Shout it LOUD! Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God! It reminds me of John 20:31 ESV — “… these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.” Thank You, Jesus!

"... I said this on account of the people standing around, that they may believe that you sent me.” - John 11:42

Jesus has purpose not only for Lazarus and his sisters, not only for His disciples, but also for the people standing around watching. My life isn’t just for myself, it’s not just for my family and friends, it’s not just for my brothers and sisters in Christ, it is also for those who are just standing around watching, my neighbors, the people at the grocery store, the people in the park, the people driving next to me on the street. Lord, be glorified in me!

"But one of them, Caiaphas, who was high priest that year, said to them, “You know nothing at all. Nor do you understand that it is better for you that one man should die for the people, not that the whole nation should perish.” He did not say this of his own accord, but being high priest that year he prophesied that Jesus would die for the nation, and not for the nation only, but also to gather into one the children of God who are scattered abroad. So from that day on they made plans to put him to death." - John 11:49-53

Caiaphas spoke words of truth and wisdom, yet he was working against God and for the devil. Just because someone speaks the truth, it doesn’t mean we should just follow and trust them. Satan masquerades as an angel of light. Wolves disguise themselves as sheep. We must be discerning and prayerful in who we allow to lead us and speak into our lives.

"Now the Passover of the Jews was at hand...' - John 11:55

It’s now the Passover. That means that it’s springtime. In John 10:22, it was the Feast of Dedication, Hanukkah. Several months have passed already.

Let’s pray together.

Heavenly Father,

We pray that we will treasure up Your words in our hearts, calling out for insight and understanding, seeking wisdom like silver and searching for understanding as hidden treasure, that we will fear You and know You, that we might believe in You and trust You with all of our hearts.

Thank You for the truth that those who KNOW Your name put their trust in You for You, oh Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.

Help us to be wise, being careful who we listen to, and being careful how we live. Help us, Father, to remember that people are watching us – our children, our husbands, our parents, our brothers and sisters in Christ, those who are far away from you are watching us. We pray that our lives would testify to the truth of the gospel. We pray that people will see our good deeds and give glory to You, our Father in heaven.

Help us to have faith as a mustard seed that grows and multiplies and fills our cities and nations.

Help us to share the good news of the gospel, that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, who has come into the world, that all might believe in Him and receive the gift of eternal life.

It is in the good and holy name of Jesus that we pray. Amen

My Favorite Passage of Scripture

Published on by kendraskeLeave a comment

I love the writings of Peter because he’s so outspoken and quick.

I love the writings of John because he’s so fixed on the mutual importance of truth and love.

But I have a special place in my heart for Paul because he was once a blasphemer and opponent of the gospel like me.

Every time I read Paul’s letter to Timothy, his child in the faith, I am reminded anew of God’s unique calling and purpose for me and how greatly His grace and love have overflowed in my life.

I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life.

1 Timothy 1:12-16 ESV

Does your testimony sound different from mine and Paul’s? Were you never a persecutor of Christians and an opponent of the gospel of Jesus Christ? Great news! God still has a unique purpose and calling for YOU! God still wants to use YOU as an example of His perfect patience.

Whether you grew up from infancy surrounded by Words of Truth whispered over you as you slept, or you walked in utter darkness until adulthood, the light has come for you. Now go and share the good news with others this holiday season. It’s never too late to tell someone about the saving faith available to all through trusting in Christ for the forgiveness of sins.

Remember Jesus Christ, risen from the dead, the offspring of David, as preached in my gospel, for which I am suffering, bound with chains as a criminal. But the word of God is not bound! Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory. The saying is trustworthy, for: If we have died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him; if we deny him, he also will deny us; if we are faithless, he remains faithful— for he cannot deny himself.

2 Timothy 2:8-13 ESV

Happy Children’s Day

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In China, June 1 every year is Children’s Day. Here in the U.S., it seems like every day is Children’s Day. 😆

Have you ever heard the phrase, “We’re all God’s children?” It’s a pretty popular saying and somewhat accurate in that we are all God’s creation, or that we are all created in the image of God. Every man, woman, and child, born or unborn, has been created by God, after the image of God, for the intentional purpose of God. In that way, yes, we’re all God’s children.

But, today, as I was reading Ephesians 2, verses 2 and 3 jumped out at me. They say that we were all once by nature sons of disobedience and children of wrath. Verses 4-10 go on to explain that because of God’s rich mercy and love and grace, we have been saved from His wrath by faith in His Son, Jesus.

In order to be God’s children, we must be born again and be made new by the Holy Spirit. In order to call on God as our Father, we must be adopted as His sons and daughters.

I pray that today, as Children’s Day is being celebrated on the other side of the globe, you will call out to your Creator, that you will receive Him as Your Father, confessing your sins to Him and asking Him to welcome you into His family, coming to Him by faith in His Son, Jesus Christ. I’d love to call you my brother or sister and welcome you into the household of God.

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Ephesians 2:1‭-‬10 ESV

The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.
John 1:9‭-‬13 ESV

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.
Romans 8:14‭-‬17 ESV

for in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith.
Galatians 3:26 ESV

Glow in the Dark

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Jesus is the true light of the world (John 8:12, John 12:46). He is the source of all that is good and light.

But the Bible also says that, as His children, we are the light of the world. (Matthew 5:14-16)

It reminds me of the moon. The moon cannot make its own light. The moon reflects the light from the sun. Likewise, I shine because God lives in me and His light shines from me.

I want to be a spotlight – pointing people to Jesus, the source of the light coming from me 👉 ✝️

“Glow In The Dark” by Jason Gray

Sometimes the world feels like a mess
Full of drama, full of stress
And life puts a fist right in your ribs
You can hide if you choose to
And no one would even blame you
Or you can let them see how you deal with it

That even in the darkest place
His love can make you radiate

Doesn’t matter how deep, how dark the night is
Keep hoping, keep on shining
And they’ll see His light burning in your heart
And if the road gets rough, just keep your head up
Let the world see what you’re made of
That His love’s alive in your deepest parts
Like a flame, like a burning star you can shine right where you are
He made you to glow in the dark

Don’t be ashamed of your past
If you’re shattered like a piece of glass
The more broke you are the more the light gets through
Show your wounds and your flaws
Show them why you still need the cross
Let them see the work He’s doing in you

That even in the darkest place
His love can make you radiate

Doesn’t matter how deep, how dark the night is
Keep hoping, keep on shining
And they’ll see His light burning in your heart
And if the road gets rough, just keep your head up
Let the world see what you’re made of
That His love’s alive in your deepest parts
Like a flame, like a burning star you can shine right where you are
He made you to glow in the dark

Doesn’t matter how deep, how dark the night is
Keep hoping, keep on shining
And they’ll see His light burning in your heart
And if the road gets rough, just keep your head up
Let the world see what you’re made of
That His love’s alive in your deepest parts
Like a flame, like a burning star you can shine right where you are
He made you to glow in the dark
Glow in the dark

A simple, but powerful, way to read through the Bible – John 1

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Let me share with you one simple way that I’ve found to really personalize and apply the scripture that I’m reading that day.

Read through the Bible, one book at a time, one chapter (or a portion of a chapter) each day. Each day, choose one specific verse that really speaks to you that day and use that verse to write out a prayer.

Today I read through John 1 and chose John 1:34 for my verse of the day.

“And I have seen and borne witness
that this is the Son of God.”

John 1:34

I wrote this prayer based on that chapter and verse.

Father, thank You for making Yourself visible so that we can be Your witnesses. Thank you for the witnesses who came before me, for John the Baptist who told his disciple Andrew who told his brother Peter, and for Philip who told his friend Nathanael. Thank you for those who have told me their stories, testifying to the realness of God! I pray that You would make me Your faithful witness. Give me the wisdom and the words to testify to the TRUTH of what I have seen and heard. I pray that my children and my husband and those that I’m discipling would be Your faithful witnesses, too, not giving way to fear, not being ashamed of the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lamb of God, who came to take away the sins of the world. Amen.

I’d love to hear your thoughts about how this worked for you. How do you study the Bible every day?

FREE Book — January 12 only

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In celebration of my birthday, I am giving away FREE copies of my book on Kindle, “God is Real: The Eyewitness Testimony of a Former Atheist.”

Click here to go directly to the link Amazon, or search for my name Kim Endraske on Amazon. 😊

The paperback copy is also available for less than $7 if you prefer.

I’d appreciate you sharing the good news with your friends today!

That’s My King! Do you know Him?

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“That’s My King” by S. M. Lockridge

I wonder if you know Him?
Do you know my King?

The Bible says
He’s the King of the Jews
He’s the King of Israel
He’s the King of Righteousness
He’s the King of the Ages
He’s the King of Heaven
He’s the King of Glory
He’s the King of Kings
and He is the Lord of Lords

Now that’s my King!

No barriers can hinder Him from pouring out His blessing
No means of measure can define His limitless love
No far seeing telescope can bring into visibility the coastline of His shoreless supply

He’s enduringly strong
He’s eternally steadfast
He’s immortally graceful
He’s imperially powerful
He’s impartially merciful

That’s my King!

He’s God’s Son
He’s the sinners’ Saviour
He’s the centerpiece of civilization
He’s unparalleled
He’s unprecedented
He’s pre-eminent
He’s the loftiest idea in literature
He’s the fundamental doctrine in true theology
He’s the miracle of the age
He’s the superlative of everything good
He’s the only one able to supply all of our needs simultaneously
He supplies strength for the weak
He’s available for the tempted and the tried
He sympathizes and He saves
He heals the sick
He cleansed the lepers
He forgives sinners
He delivers the captives
He defends the feeble
He blesses the young
He serves the unfortunate
He regards the aged
He rewards the diligent
And He beautifies the meek

Do you know Him?
Do you know my King?

My King is the key of knowledge
He’s the wellspring of wisdom
He’s the doorway of deliverance
He’s the gateway of glory
He’s the pathway of peace
He’s the roadway of righteousness
He’s the highway of holiness
His promise is sure
His life is matchless
His goodness is limitless
His mercy is everlasting
His love never changes
His word is enough
His grace is sufficient
His reign is righteous
His yoke is easy
and His burden is light

Do you know Him?

He’s incomprehensible
He’s invincible
He’s irresistible
I’m trying to tell you
The heaven of heavens cannot contain Him
Let alone a man explain Him

You can’t get Him out of your mind
You can’t outlive Him
And you can’t live without Him

The Pharisees couldn’t stand Him
but they found out they couldn’t stop Him
Pilate couldn’t find any fault in Him
The witnesses couldn’t get their testimonies to agree
And Herod couldn’t kill Him
Death couldn’t handle Him
And the grave couldn’t hold Him

That’s my King!

He always has been
And He always will be
I’m talking about
He had no predecessor
and He’ll have no successor
There was nobody before Him
and there’ll be nobody after Him
You can’t impeach Him
and He’s not going to resign

That’s my King!

Do you know Him?

He’s the Master of the Mighty
He’s the Captain of the Conquerors
He’s the Head of the Heroes
He’s the Leader of the Legislatures
He’s the Overseer of the Overcomers
He’s the Governor of the Governors
He’s the Prince of Princes
He’s the King of Kings
And He’s the Lord of Lords

That’s my KING!

“For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.” (Matthew 6:13 KJV)

“Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things,
and for thy pleasure they are and were created.” (Revelation 4:11 KJV)

A Few Good Friends

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I’m on Day 6 of a 40 Day Facebook fast. I’m using a devotional by Wendy Speake called “The 40-Day Social Media Fast.” Today’s devotional was entitled, “A Few Good Friends” and it hit me right between the eyes.

I spent most of my teenage years as an outsider. As a brainiac and an atheist, though I wanted to fit in, I didn’t.

As an adult and born again follower of Jesus, I never want others to feel left out, like I was.

I cast my net wide.

I love everyone.

I invite everyone.

Any age, any skin color, any religion, any economic level, whatever – I love you all.

I love to greet the new people who wander nervously into church. I love to seek out the person sitting in the corner at a party. I love to make the newcomer and the outsider feel appreciated and valued.

8 or 80, male or female, made up or beat up, I want to be your friend.

The struggle for me is that love isn’t always reciprocated, even in the family of Christ. Sometimes I’m too serious, too friendly, too deep, too religious, too loud, too … whatever. And it still hurts me more deeply than I wish it did. 😰

I love getting likes and shares on my FB feed (and my blog). I purposely share some fun family photos and silly memes on my Facebook feed, just so people don’t think I’m too “religious” or too “deep.”

The most personal things I write, which are usually both deep and religious, don’t garner nearly so many likes or shares, but I keep on writing them because that’s how God made me. I think these writings are some of the works that God has prepared for me to do, that God has uniquely designed me to write. (Ephesians 2:10)

Thanks to each of you for being on this journey with me. Whether you’re one of my 3 special friends or whether we’ve never even met, I love you and I want you to know Jesus.

Your love or disdain for me does not change my value in my Father’s eyes. Whether you like my post or not, Jesus likes me. In fact, Jesus died for me, and His approval is all that really matters. ❤

“We don’t need everyone to like us, love us, invite us, or include us. In God’s economy, two or three faithful friends make for great wealth.”

Wendy Speake, The 40-Day Social Media Fast