Category: Grief

God Has a Purpose and a Plan. Trust Him. – Exodus 13 – 2025 Day 121

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Read Through the Bible in 2 Years: Psalm 91, Exodus 13

Over my almost 30 years of motherhood, I’ve had countless opportunities to make decisions that my children don’t understand.

  • Sweetheart, put on your shoes and socks right now and go collect the chicken eggs.
  • Honey, grab your backpack and stick it in the car. We’re going to need it later.
  • Hey, sweetie, hurry and finish up your chores. We have to leave in five minutes.

Maybe I know something that we have planned for later that day which my children are unaware of or maybe I’m looking at a bigger, longer-term goal that my children just aren’t ready to understand. Whatever the reason may be, I want my children to obey “promptly, cheerfully, and completely.” I want them to trust my judgment. I want their first response to be obedience, rather than debate. I want their initial thought to be, “My mom’s pretty good at this mom-stuff, I ought to do what she says,” rather than, “Why is my mom always telling me what to do? Can’t she just leave me alone?”

I was thinking about this as I read about God leading the Israelites out of Egypt.

“When Pharaoh let the people go,
God did not lead them by way of the land of the Philistines, although that was near.
For God said, “Lest the people change their minds
when they see war and return to Egypt.”
But God led the people around by the way of the wilderness toward the Red Sea. And the people of Israel went up out of the land of Egypt equipped for battle.”

Exodus 13:17-18 ESV

God knows men’s hearts, and God knows the future. In His perfect wisdom, He always knows what is best. He always has purpose in the path that He choses for His children. Sometimes He wants us to walk through the darkest valleys, and sometimes He wants us to joyously dance over the mountains, but either way His purposes are good and He is worthy of our trust.

Let’s pray.

Oh Lord God, You are good and perfect in all Your ways. Help me to trust You. Help me to follow You promptly, cheerfully, and completely, even when I don’t understand, especially when I don’t understand. May I have unwavering faith because You are an unwavering God. You always keep Your promises. When the way looks dark and scary, help me reach out my hands to You and trust that You are there. In the Name of Jesus Christ, my Good Shepherd, we pray, Amen.

All of our Tomorrows – Sovereign Grace

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Now My Eye Sees You – Job 42 – 2025 Day 85

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Read Through the Bible in 2 Years: Job 42; Psalm 53

“And the LORD blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning.
And he had 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 yoke of oxen, and 1,000 female donkeys. He had also seven sons and three daughters.”

Job 42:12-13 ESV

In Job 1, we read that Job had 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen and 500 female donkeys. Here at the end of his life, Job has twice as many of these animals. Yet in Job 1, we read that Job had seven sons and three daughters and now at the end of his life, he once again is given seven sons and three daughters. Why was the number of his children not doubled?

Let me share with you my thoughts: When Job’s first animals were wiped out and he got new animals, he no longer counted the ones he had earlier in his life … but children, they are different. Our children are made in God’s image and are given eternal souls. Our children are irreplaceable. If your child passes away, they remain your child. I have two children who have gone to heaven before me and I have four children here on earth, therefore I have six children.

Job began his life with ten children and he ended his life with twenty. The Lord had indeed given him a double portion.

The pain of losing all of your animals is great, but the pain of losing all of your children is immeasurably greater. But may I encourage you with this word: the pain is great because your love is great.

Job was a righteous man with a deep love for God, but Job grew to know and love God more intimately and personally as a result of his great pain – and so can we. Earlier we read the words of Job, “Behold, my eye has seen all this, my ear has heard and understood it.” (Job 13:1 ESV) But now at the end of this book, Job says, “I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you;” (Job 42:5 ESV)

I remember all too well how much the Lord grew and transformed me through the pain of losing a baby. I pray that whatever trial you are going through now or have gone through in the past, that you will keep your eyes wide open to see God as He walks with you through this dark valley.

Heavenly Father, please grow our faith. Help us to see Your hand guiding us and blessing us every step of the way as we walk through this valley. You are always good and always right. You are all-knowing and all-powerful. We need You every hour.

We pray that we will know how deep and high and long and wide is Your love toward us as Your children. We pray that we will see You in our lives and see You in Your living and active Word because we know that You are there. In the Name of Christ Jesus our Lord we pray, Amen.

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You Are So Good to Me – Mac Powell
Watch my testimony for more on how I came to see God more clearly after losing a baby.

Secondary Effects of Loss – Job 29-30 – 2025 Day 77

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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Job 29-30, Psalm 45

“Oh, that I were as in the months of old, as in the days when God watched over me, when his lamp shone upon my head, and by his light I walked through darkness, as I was in my prime, when the friendship of God was upon my tent, when the Almighty was yet with me, when my children were all around me, when my steps were washed with butter, and the rock poured out for me streams of oil!”

– Job 29:2-6 ESV

“But now they laugh at me, men who are younger than I, whose fathers I would have disdained to set with the dogs of my flock.”

– Job 30:1 ESV

Job once enjoyed the praise of men. He was once the helper of the afflicted. But now he must endure the disdain even of the “rabble,” the common people, of his community. I’m afraid that is a very common secondary effect of loss, the loss of praise (and companionship) from those around you.

The grief-stricken often feel abandoned by whoever has passed, whether their husband or child or parent or sibling, but they also must wrestle through feelings of abandonment by God. To then experience the loss of their place in their community or “friend circle,” is to heap grief upon grief.

In reading through Job, I want to apply what I’m reading to how I treat my friends who are going through loss. I want to be better at reaching out and walking with them. How about you?

Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father, thank You for all of Your grace. You are impartial. You do not love us better when we are enjoying the praise of man. You do not love us better when our houses are full of children and laughter. You are with us in the dark and trying times. I pray that I would go and do likewise. Help me to draw near to the brokenhearted, to be close to those who are in times of deep distress. Help me to hear these words of Job and apply them to my own life. In the name of Christ I pray, Amen.

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“Nearer my God to Thee” – Acapella

Good Things and Bad People – Job 22 – 2025 Day 72

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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Job 22; Psalm 41

Have you ever struggled with why “bad things happen to good people”? I believe the simple answer to that question is, “Truly there are no good people. We’re all downright bad. None of us deserve anything that the Lord gives to us out of His grace.” But, today when reading Job 22, I found myself thinking about a slightly different question, “Why do good things happen to bad people?”

They said to God,
“Depart from us,” and
“What can the Almighty do to us?”

Yet He filled their houses with good things…

Job 22:17-18a ESV

Why does God allow the sun to shine and the rain to fall on both the evil and the good, like we read in Matthew 5:45? Why is the LORD good to all, and why does He have mercy on all that He has made? (Psalm 145:9) Why do the wicked prosper like we considered in yesterday’s reading of Job 21?

I think one reason is that when God saves and blesses bad people (like each and every one of us), so that we can display His immeasurable riches of His grace and kindness.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.

Ephesians 1:3-6 ESV

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

Ephesians 2:1-7 ESV

Like Job, and David, and Paul, the Lord inclined Himself to me and heard my cry and drew me out of the pit of destruction that I had dug for myself. He set my feet upon the rock of His salvation. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of PRAISE to our God, that many will see and fear and put their trust in God. (Psalm 40:1-3)

Heavenly Father,

I am indeed so poor and needy, yet You take thought of me. You have indeed multiplied Your wondrous deeds and thoughts towards me. I will proclaim and tell of them, though they are more than can be told. You are my help and my deliverer. Do not delay, for You are my God.

I delight to do Your will for You are my God. Your law is within my heart. Let me not restrain my lips. Help me to tell of all the glad news of deliverance that I have experienced. Let me not hide Your saving grace within my heart.

Fill me with Your Spirit. Delight me with Your presence. Make me Your witness, sharing boldly and openly of Your faithfulness and salvation.

Truly, You are good to both the evil and the good for You are a good and gracious King. May I praise You just as loudly for the thorns in my flesh which You have given me to keep me humble as I praise You for Your mighty works of deliverance. They are both gifts granted out of Your abundant, overflowing grace!

Make me a pipeline of Your kindness and grace toward sinners like me.

In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

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Thank You, Jesus, for the Blood – Charity Gayle

The Steadfast Love of the Lord – Job 16-17 – 2025 Day 68

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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Job 16-17; Psalm 36

After Job’s friend, Eliphaz, shares his human wisdom with his grieving friend (Job 15), it comes Job’s turn to reply. Job’s first words to his friends are, “I have heard many such things; miserable comforters are you all.”

Ain’t that the truth? Miserable counselors they have been. When you’ve lost all ten of your children, all of your possessions, and even your health, do you really want to hear words like, “Why does your heart carry you away, and why do your eyes flash, that you turn your spirit against God and bring such words out of your mouth?” (Job 15:12)

Remember, friends, there is a time to speak and a time to be silent. I pray that we learn to speak those words that fit the occasion, to ask the Holy Spirit, our great counselor, to guide us in what to say to a grieving friend.

So, how amazing it was to then read Psalm 36 right on the heels of the words of Job’s heartache.

“Your steadfast love, O LORD, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds.

Your righteousness is like the mountains of God; your judgments are like the great deep; man and beast you save, O LORD.

How precious is your steadfast love, O God!

The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.

They feast on the abundance of your house, and you give them drink from the river of your delights.

For with you is the fountain of life; in your light do we see light.

Oh, continue your steadfast love to those who know you, and your righteousness to the upright of heart!”

– Psalm 36:5-10 ESV

Job’s friends truly were miserable comforters, but God’s faithful, steadfast love is a comfort to His children. Jesus truly is our very good shepherd who comforts us in all our affliction. (2 Corinthians 1:3-7)

Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself,
and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word.

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 ESV

Let’s pray,

Heavenly Father,

Please help us to be patient with our friends when they say stupid things because they just don’t know what to say. I’m sure it hurts them to see us hurting. Help us to have grace toward them when they are terrible comforters and say things that make our pain even worse.

I pray that we will trust You all the more as we see what miserable counselors even our dearest friends are, for Your Holy Spirit is our perfect comforter. Apply the wisdom of Your Word like a balm to our hurting souls. Speak to us through Your Words, healing our brokenness for Your glory, comforting us so that we can comfort others.

Lord, I want to thank You in all circumstances and trust that You have purpose in my pain. As I walk through dark valleys, will you please grow my faith muscles? Help me to see Your light glowing at the end of the tunnel, guiding me with your merciful staff and fending away my enemies with Your righteous, rugged rod.

I pray that You will someday use my pain to comfort others who find themselves in pain. Teach me how to speak fit words for hurting hearts. Give me wisdom as to when to speak and when to be silent, when to exhort and when to encourage. I want to be an instrument of Your peace, to be my brother’s keeper, to love my neighbor as myself, and to comfort others with the comfort that I have received from You.

In the Name of our Perfect Comforter, Jesus Christ, we pray, Amen.

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Your Love Oh Lord, Psalm 36 – Third Day

Though He Slay Me – Job 13-14 – 2025 Day 66

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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Job 13-14; Psalm 34

You can feel Job wrestling between how he feels in his heart and what he knows is true in his mind. On the one hand, Job wishes that God would go far away from him and leave him alone, yet he knows that God is good and his only hope for salvation.

Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever wrestled between your mind and your emotions?

And in the middle of that wrestling Job says these nine profound words.

Though He slay me, I will hope in Him.

Job 13:15a

Can we say that with Job? Can we maintain our hope in Christ even when life is crashing down around us.

No matter what God puts us through, He is still our only hope, and what is life without hope? How can we get through the tragedies of daily life without trusting in a good and Sovereign God?

Truly He is our only hope in life and death.

Heavenly Father, thank You for the hope that we have in this life, that even our pain has purpose. Thank You for the hope that we have in eternity, that You will wipe every tear from our eyes and we will behold Your glory face to face.

We lift up our grieving brothers and sisters to You and ask You to encourage them. Please do not take Your hand from them, even when they ask You to. Hold them close in Your hand even when they’re in the fire.

We love You and worship You and thank You for giving us the book of Job that we might know that we are never alone.

In the name of Jesus Christ we pray, Amen.

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Though You Slay Me – Shane and Shane, featuring John Piper
Christ our Hope in Life and Death – Keith & Kristyn Getty, Matt Papa

Consider the Lilies – Job 12 – 2025 Day 65

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Job 12, Psalm 33

Spring has arrived! The birds are singing. The trees are budding. The daffodils yellow heads are filling the landscape. The world seems alive after a long sleep. Revival! I love how the creation sings of its creator.

Has winter lasted too long in your heart and home? Have you lost your desire to bloom. Job understands and so does God. I pray that you will turn your face toward the Almighty and His face will shine on you as you wait for Him.

But ask the beasts,
and they will teach you;
the birds of the heavens,
and they will tell you;
or the bushes of the earth,
and they will teach you;
and the fish of the sea
will declare to you.

Job 12:7-8

Jesus’s words in Matthew 6:26, 28-30 echo Job’s loud and clear — “Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them…. Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?”

Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father,

You are the creator and sustainer of life. You send rain and sun and snow. Thank You for the beauty of spring after a long winter. Help us to learn what You’re teaching us – to be patient, to trust You, that everything has a season and time.

You take care of the birds and the flowers, and you take care of us.

We pray for those sisters who have suffered through a long winter full of storms and cold. Please let Your face shine upon them and be gracious to them and give them Your peace. Sustain them and strengthen them for the road ahead. Let them not grow weary. Help them to trust that in due time they will reap a harvest if they do not give up.

In the name of Jesus we pray. Amen.

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“Where are the Snowdrops?” In loving memory of Anna Grace Kirby.
Please join me in praying for Joe and Emma Kirby and their family.
Do Not Worry – Rain for Roots

Words Unfitly Spoken – Thoughts from Job and his friends – 2025 Day 62 (Job 8)

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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Job 8; Psalm 30

Pondering Job 8 and the very true words of Job’s friend Bildad – that God is just, that He will restore Job’s fortunes and bless his life, and that the godless will surely not prosper – reminded of Proverbs 25:11, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.”

Were Bildad’s words fitly spoken? I think not. Why not? Because, like my dear friend Beth has often reminded me, “The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing.” Eloquent speeches about God’s justice and judgment are inappropriate to give to a friend who has just lost all of their children and possessions.

It reminds me of times when I’ve gone shoe shopping and have found the perfect shoes at the perfect price, only to discover that they don’t fit. No matter how beautiful those shoes are, no matter what a good deal they are, if they’re too big or too small, you shouldn’t waste your money on them.

If our words are to be fitly spoken, we must be careful not only what we say, but how and when. If our words are to be fitly spoken, they must be fit to the person, place, and time.

If our words are to be fitly spoken,
we must be careful not only what we say, but how and when.

Please join me in prayer.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for the joy of Your presence. You have indeed made me glad as I have trusted in You. You are always good. Make me more like You. Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. Let me look upon Your glory and see Your face.

Give me wisdom and discernment in what to say as well as what not to. Help me see what words fit and what words don’t. Give me insight into what the circumstances demand. May my words be as heartfelt as they are true. Help me to speak the truth from a heart filled with humility and love.

In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen

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“I Need Thee Every Hour”
Hymns of Grace

Sitting with a Grieving Friend – Thoughts from the Life of Job – 2025 Day 61 (Job 6-7)

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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Job 6-7; Psalm 29

The two lowest months of my life were March of 1994 and October of 1998. Yet these were also the two seasons when Jesus began to radically transform my faith.

March 1994 was when I finally broke up with my fiancé, Eric, and moved to St. Louis. I was utterly alone in a way I’d never experienced before, but shortly thereafter I met Jesus and began a whole new life with Him always by my side.

October 1998 was when I found out that my stillborn baby’s body had been lost by the hospital after his autopsy. Why had God allowed this to happen? Losing my baby was painful enough …. Why this? I wrestled and struggled and mourned and questioned and grieved for months. What had I done wrong? Was God punishing me?

I didn’t want to go to church. I didn’t want to have playdates with my friends and their children. I just wanted to curl up in bed and stay there.

No one could understand the depth of my pain.

  • “He wasn’t even full-term.”
  • “You’ll have another.”
  • “I had a miscarriage, too, once. You’ll get over it. Give it some time.”
  • “It was just a body.”

Their words dug into my heart like so many little piercing arrows.

I distanced myself from my friends, and they distanced themselves from me, too. I couldn’t relate to them, and they couldn’t relate to me, either. They didn’t want to just sit and grieve with me day after day. A few days of crying was enough, wasn’t it? Why was this still going on weeks and even months later? This was when the book of Job really entered my life for the first time. (Actually, I had first encountered the book of Job in college when I was still an atheist, and I was assigned to read it as a “great work of ancient literature” in one of my liberal arts classes.) But 1998 is when Job’s words pierced my heart.

Out of all the pain and confusion, God again did something new in my heart. He grew my faith in new and profound ways. He taught me to simply trust Him when I don’t understand what’s He’s doing. He taught me that He is good even when people aren’t. He taught me that I can always turn to Him in my pain and suffering.

This week, reading Job again, really taking time to sit and study and journal and think, Job’s words are aimed at my heart again in a new way. Have I withheld kindness from a friend? Have I made light of a friend’s suffering? Can I look my friend in the eye and hold her hand in her grief?

Sisters, let’s not make the same mistakes as Job’s friends. Let’s run toward our friends in their pain, being willing to mourn with those who mourn, rather than running away out of fear and discomfort.

Let’s pray together.

Heavenly Father,

Your grace is sufficient for me for Your power is made perfect in my weakness. Thank You for giving us the book of Job that we could better understand the very real grief of men and the equally very real goodness of God. Help us to be good friends, to run towards those who are hurting instead of running away. Help us to be willing to sit and listen, instead of always trying to speak and fix. Make us like Jesus who wept with the grieving. Make us vessels of Your love and peace and kindness and comfort.

In the Name of Jesus we pray, Amen.

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“Because He Lives”
Keith & Kristyn Getty, Bill Gaither, Buddy Green

When the Encourager Needs Encouragement – Thoughts from the Life of Job – 2025 Day 60 (Job 4-5)

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Read Through the Bible in 2 Years: Job 4-5; Psalm 48

I’ve often found myself in the position of encourager. People come to me when they need prayer or encouragement or words of wisdom. This is certainly a blessing from God, and I’m honored to serve my sisters in this way. But … what about when it’s me who needs the prayer and encouragement and words of wisdom? Will I be able to take my own advice or will I crumble under the weight? Will my friends take the opportunity to encourage me, or will they point out my shortcomings in my sorrow?

After sitting silently with Job for seven days and nights (Job 2:13) Job’s friend, Eliphaz, finally speaks. His friend’s first words aren’t, “I’m so sorry, Job. I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through. I’m with you, and I’ll stay with you through thick and thin. I’m glad to have you as a friend.” No, Job’s friends’ first words are criticism.

“If one ventures a word with you, will you be impatient? Yet who can keep from speaking? Behold, you have instructed many, and you have strengthened the weak hands. Your words have upheld him who was stumbling, and you have made firm the feeble knees. But now it has come to you, and you are impatient; it touches you, and you are dismayed.”

– Job 4:3-5

Tears. 😢😢😢

I remember two years ago when I originally penned this message. Later that same afternoon, one of the moms of the teenage students I teach asked me if she could take my picture. She went on to explain how much her daughter loves me, and that she’s always telling her grandma about “Mrs. Kim.” Wow! That put wind in my sails like nothing else! Those few words encouraged me to keep my hands to the plow!

Can I just say how much a few simple words of thanksgiving and encouragement can strengthen a heavy heart?

Send a text. Send flowers. Mail a handwritten note. Make a phone call.

Click the “like button.” Leave a simple comment saying, “Thanks for taking the time to write this. Your words really ministered to me.”

Are we more like the one leper who returned to give Jesus thanks for healing him or the nine who received healing and kept right on their merry way, healed but unappreciative? (Luke 17:11-19)

How does God want you to encourage those who have encouraged you? We all grow weary from time to time.

Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for Your faithful, never-ending grace and encouragement. You never grow tired. You never feel hopeless. The light at the end of the tunnel is never hidden from you.

Today I pray for my sisters who are facing tests and trials, who have lost a parent, a child, a husband, a job. I pray for the one who is losing hope today, who feels like the sun will never shine again, who feels like they can’t make it one more step.

Will you please send someone to them to encourage them? Will You please use me to speak life to those who need it? Will You please pour Your love lavishly into my heart, so I have love to give to the next one? Make me Your vessel. Make Your Word a balm to their heavy soul as well as mine.

Father, I am so weak, and I grow so weary. Please, Father, encourage me. Pour into me. Lift up my hands and my head. Let me not lose heart. Please send friends around me to lift me up, that I will not faint.

In the Healing Name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

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“See How He Loves Us”
Sovereign Grace Music