Category: Grief

Sharing Comfort

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Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer.

2 Corinthians 1:3-6 ESV

I’m a member of an elite group of women, but it’s a group that I never signed up for and that I never wanted to join: moms who have lost a baby. I have two children waiting in heaven for me, neither of which I ever held in my arms. The first was just a little gummy bear when he went straight to heaven. The other was six inches long with ten fingers, ten toes, and a very big belly.

As much as I never wanted to join the “Moms of Heavenly Babies” club, now I’m thankful to be a member. I have learned so much through the pain about God and myself. My confidence that God is real and on His throne, and that He truly is the God of comfort, is a direct result of this grief.

God has used this affliction to minister through me to many other women. In fact, God opened the doors for me to found an online ministry and even write a book.

Is there a trial that you’re walking through right now or have walked through in the past? How has God used it for good? How can you comfort someone else with the comfort you received from Him?

Heavenly Father, I thank You for the cross on which Jesus died, His blood poured out for me. I thank You for the example that He gave of suffering pain that others might experience joy and comfort. Help me, Father, to bear my cross with joy and thanksgiving, looking to You and to the promise of eternal life of heaven. Let me not grow weary or faint, for my hope is built on the solid rock of Jesus Christ. Please use my testimony for the building up of the body. Help me to comfort others with the comfort that I’ve received from Your Word and Your presence. In the matchless name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.

The Lord’s Sovereign Will

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Joshua 11

Maybe you know and maybe you don’t, but I’ve been a member of a local Community Bible Study group for the last 7 years. Together we study verse by verse through books of the Bible, meeting weekly to discuss what we learn and listen to some teaching on that week’s lesson. Last week we began studying 1 Samuel.

Our teaching director challenged us this semester to memorize Hannah’s prayer found in 1 Samuel 2:1-10.

And Hannah prayed and said,

“My heart exults in the LORD; my horn is exalted in the LORD. My mouth derides my enemies, because I rejoice in your salvation.

“There is none holy like the LORD: for there is none besides you; there is no rock like our God. Talk no more so very proudly, let not arrogance come from your mouth; for the LORD is a God of knowledge, and by him actions are weighed.

The bows of the mighty are broken, but the feeble bind on strength. Those who were full have hired themselves out for bread, but those who were hungry have ceased to hunger. The barren has borne seven, but she who has many children is forlorn.

The LORD kills and brings to life; he brings down to Sheol and raises up. The LORD makes poor and makes rich; he brings low and he exalts. He raises up the poor from the dust; he lifts the needy from the ash heap to make them sit with princes and inherit a seat of honor. For the pillars of the earth are the LORD’s, and on them he has set the world.

“He will guard the feet of his faithful ones, but the wicked shall be cut off in darkness, for not by might shall a man prevail. The adversaries of the LORD shall be broken to pieces; against them he will thunder in heaven. The LORD will judge the ends of the earth; he will give strength to his king and exalt the horn of his anointed.”

1 Samuel 2:1-10 ESV

Working on memorizing Hannah’s prayer has encouraged me to remember God’s sovereignty in both giving life and giving death, in both exalting the poor and breaking the mighty.

Dear friends, God sees the whole BIG picture and He is working. He has purposes that we don’t even know about, but we can trust that His plans are good. If the Lord is hardening someone’s heart, it’s for good, just as much as when he’s softening it.

Heavenly Father, I know that Your ways are higher than mine. I know that You are good and Almighty and nothing happens apart from Your sovereign will. Help me to trust You when things seem bad and out of control. Help me to humbly, joyfully yield my life to Your will. In the name of Jesus Christ, my Savior and Lord, I pray. Amen

Do Not Fear … For It Is the Lord your God Who Goes with You

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years Deuteronomy 31

First Moses told all Israel, “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV

Next, Moses immediately summoned Joshua to tell him personally, “Be strong and courageous, for you shall go with this people into the land that the LORD has sworn to their fathers to give them, and you shall put them in possession of it. It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” (Deuteronomy 31:7-8)

Several months ago I deleted my Facebook account. I don’t miss it much. I’ve gained more than I’ve lost. But one thing I do miss is reading Sunshine Meister’s beautifully written testimonies of God’s daily sustaining grace in her life after her son Nahum’s traumatic brain injury in 2021. This morning I woke up thinking about her and tried to find a way to follow her somewhere other than Facebook, and I stumbled on this testimony on YouTube.

Her words will encourage you more than mine. To God be the glory. Do not fear or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you.

Sunshine Meister – Finding Comfort in God’s Presence

A Child of Promise

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Romans 9

Twenty-five years ago, in July of 1998, I found out I was pregnant with my second child. Our first daughter was two years old, and I was overjoyed that we were expecting again. Unfortunately, during a routine 12-week ultrasound, we discovered that our unborn son had a bladder obstruction. His bladder was as big as his head. This wasn’t good.

On September 10, the doctors attempted an in-utero procedure to place a stent to drain Tommy’s bladder into the amniotic sac, but the procedure was unsuccessful and four days later we found out that he had passed away in my womb.

When we first learned that Tommy had an obstructed bladder, I prayed for God to either heal him completely or take him quickly, but after losing him, I would have given anything for one more month or even one more day. I wanted to feel him move again in my empty womb anf see my belly grow big and round and full with him. I would have loved for him to grow big enough for me to bathe him and take his little handprints, even if I had had to do those things after he had died.

Friends, there is no better way or better time to lose your child. You are never ready for it. It all hurts.

But this devastating experience grew my faith exponentially. I leaned into the Lord and His Word like never before. I began praying and reading the Bible in earnest, and I learned to trust God like never before.

I ended up founding an online ministry and writing a book called A Child of Promise – part story, part Bible Study, part journal – for other moms and dads who found themselves in the position of carrying an unborn baby with a poor or fatal prognosis.

God used this pain not only for my own good, but also for the good of other hurting families. Like our reading in Romans 9, God is the trustworthy potter in each of our lives. He has mercy on those He wills, and He hardens those whom He wills. And all I can say is that I’m thankful for His sovereign, merciful hand that shaped both me and my son.

Heavenly Father, I know that You are good. I know that You are sovereign over heaven and earth. I trust You even when it’s hard. I pray for my hurting sisters. I pray that You will encourage them and fill them with Your supernatural peace that surpasses understanding. Be their calm in the storm. Hold their hand as they walk through the fire, and carry them when they can’t take one more step. I pray that Your Word would be a light to their feet and a light to their paths, pointing them straight to You. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.

I Know – Big Daddy Weave

Rock of Ages: Balaam, Balak, and the Unchanging God (Numbers 22-24)

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Numbers 22-24

Am I largely confused by the story of Balaam and Balak? Yes, frankly, I am.

But … is there any question in my mind that God is a promise-keeping, miracle-working God who never changes and has all authority over all things in heaven and on earth? No, truthfully, there isn’t. I believe with all my heart the words of Numbers 23:19,

God is not man, that he should lie, or a son of man,
that he should change his mind.

Has he said, and will he not do it?
Or has he spoken, and will he not fulfill it?

Numbers 23:19 ESV

Oh my! Hold the phone. The song, “Way Maker” just came on my Spotify station. What?!? Let me digress for just a moment — Can I confess to you that I find the repetitiveness of this song kinda irritating? Anyone else? But, listen to these words,

“Even when I don’t see it, You’re working
Even when I don’t feel it, You’re working
You never stop, You never stop working

Way maker, miracle worker, promise keeper
Light in the darkness, my God
That is who You are”

Way Maker by Leeland

Back to the matter at hand, the Mid-South is in the midst of a major heat wave made all the more devastating by coming right on the heels of a major thunderstorm with high winds that left a large portion of our city without power. Thankfully, we never lost power, but we are having to work around the extreme heat outside. So, this morning, my husband got up early to mow our 2-acre yard before it got too hot. At 9:15 am, after already finishing mowing over an acre of grass, suddenly the sky grew dark, and we could hear the rumbling of thunder in the distance.

Suddenly, I had this thought,

The sun is as present and bright right now
as it was an hour ago.
The clouds might hide it from view,
but the sun hasn’t changed one bit.

Likewise, God is the same no matter what circumstances you find yourself in. He is unmoving. He is unchanging. He is the rock of ages. May we learn to “kiss the waves that throw [us] against the Rock of Ages,” as Charles Spurgeon so brilliantly said.

For when God made a promise to Abraham, since he had no one greater by whom to swear, he swore by himself, saying, “Surely I will bless you and multiply you.” And thus Abraham, having patiently waited, obtained the promise….

So when God desired to show more convincingly to the heirs of the promise the unchangeable character of his purpose, he guaranteed it with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us.

We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain…

Hebrews 6:13-15, 17-19 ESV
Rock of Ages – Antrim Mennonite Choir

Life is Hard. God is Good.

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Hebrews 11

I love, love, love Hebrews 11. I love it from the first verse to the last verse. I could spend a month just studying this one chapter of the Bible.

How can I choose just one verse to focus on?

Do I choose the definition of faith – that faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen – that we find in verse 1?

Or how about that the universe was created by the word of God, that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible, like we read in verse 3?

But what about verse 6, that without faith it is important to please God, for whoever would draw near to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him?

Or maybe I should choose one of the stories of faithful men and women, like Noah or Moses or Rahab?

No, I’m not going to choose any of those. Target, I want to take you to some less popular verses found at the end of this chapter, to the stories of other faithful men and women whose stories aren’t so famous as Abraham and Joseph. I want you to read about some men and women who aren’t featured in our children’s Sunday school lessons.

Let’s begin reading at verse 32.

And what more shall I say? For time would fail me to tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets— who through faith conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight. Women received back their dead by resurrection.

Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life. Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated— of whom the world was not worthy—wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth.

And all these, though commended through their faith, did not receive what was promised, since God had provided something better for us, that apart from us they should not be made perfect.

Hebrews 11:32-40

Sisters, life isn’t always easy, but God is always good. Trust Him.

Heavenly Father, Thank You for all of these examples of faithful men and women who have gone before us. Thank You for the wonderful stories of miracles like Abraham and Sarah having a baby in their old age, and Moses parting the Red Sea. Help us to remember that even in those joyous stories there is great pain – Sarah’s pain of decades of barrenness, Moses’s years growing up apart from his mother and all the years in the wilderness. And, Lord, there’s also all those stories of men and women who were mocked, tortured, and killed, who never received in this life the rewards and promises they hoped for. Oh, but Father, today they are in Your glorious presence. Today they are You face to face. And someday we will, too, if we do not lose heart. Give us strength to hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, because You, O Lord, are faithful to keep Your promises. In the mighty name of Jesus I pray. Amen.

Looking Forward to Heaven

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Hebrews 9:11-28

For the last year I have been teaching four online English classes using The Beginners Bible. This week I taught the last class, reading the last story – the story of John’s vision of heaven. One of my students wondered if heaven would be boring, if we’d all just be sitting around on clouds singing and playing harps. We had a great discussion about how glorious and good heaven will be. I promised him that he wouldn’t be bored, and I sent his mom a link to another wonderful book, perfect for parents and kids alike, Heaven for Kids by Randy Alcorn.

So, that might be one reason why I’ve been thinking so much about heaven while reading the last few chapters of Hebrews.

For Christ has entered,
not into holy places made with hands,
which are copies of the true things,
but into heaven itself, now to appear in the presence of God on our behalf.

Hebrews 9:24 ESV

Jesus is there now, at the right hand of the Father, interceding for us, and that fact alone is enough to make me long to go – which then reminded me of this quote from John Piper

“The critical question for our generation—and for every generation— is this: If you could have heaven, with no sickness, and with all the friends you ever had on earth, and all the food you ever liked, and all the leisure activities you ever enjoyed, and all the natural beauties you ever saw, all the physical pleasures you ever tasted, and no human conflict or any natural disasters, could you be satisfied with heaven, if Christ were not there?”

John Piper
Heaven is a Wonderful Place

Our Father in Heaven, what an honor it is to pray to You, to know that You hear our prayers while we are here on earth, and what an even greater honor to know that Jesus is interceding on our behalf. We look forward to seeing You face to face, to sitting at Your feet and at least beholding Your glory. We pray that You will draw our loved ones to Your side, that we can worship You side-by-side with those we love. In the Name of Jesus we pray, Amen.

God Has a Purpose and a Plan – Trust Him

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Read Through the Bible in 2 Years: Exodus 13

Over my 27 years of motherhood, I’ve had countless opportunities to make decisions that my children don’t understand.

  • Sweetheart, I need you to put on your shoes and socks right now and go collect the chicken eggs.
  • Honey, grab your backpack and stick it in the car. We’re going to need it later.
  • Hey, sweetie, hurry and finish up your chores. We have to leave in five minutes.

Maybe I know something that we have planned for later that day which my children are unaware of or maybe I’m looking at a bigger, longer-term goal that my children just aren’t ready to understand. But whatever the reason is, I want my children to obey “promptly, cheerfully, and completely,” because they trust my judgment. I want their first response to be obedience, rather than their debate. I want their initial thought to be, “My mom’s pretty good at this mom-stuff, I ought to do what she says,” rather than, “Why is my mom always telling me what to do? Can’t she just leave me alone?”

I was thinking about this as I read about God leading the Israelites out of Egypt.

“When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them by way of the land of the Philistines, although that was near. For God said, “Lest the people change their minds when they see war
and return to Egypt.”
But God led the people around by the way of the wilderness toward the Red Sea. And the people of Israel went up out of the land of Egypt equipped for battle.”

Exodus 13:17-18 ESV

God knows men’s hearts, and God knows the future. In His perfect wisdom, He always knows what is best.

He always has purpose in the path that He choses for His children. Sometimes He wants us to walk through the darkest valleys and sometimes He wants us to joyously dance over the mountaintops, but either way His purposes are good.

He is worthy of our trust.

Let’s pray.

Oh Lord God, You are good and perfect in all Your ways. Help us to trust You. Help us to follow You promptly, cheerfully, and completely, even when we don’t understand, especially when we don’t understand. May we have unwavering faith because You are an unwavering God. You always keep Your promises. When the way looks dark and scary, may we reach out our hands to You and trust that You are there. In the Name of Jesus Christ, our Good Shepherd, we pray, Amen.

Now My Eye Sees You

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Read Through the Bible in 2 Years: Job 40-42

“And the LORD blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning.
And he had 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 yoke of oxen, and 1,000 female donkeys. He had also seven sons and three daughters.”

Job 42:12-13 ESV

In Job 1, we read that Job had 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen and 500 female donkeys. Here at the end of his life, Job has twice as many of these animals. Yet in Job 1, we read that Job had seven sons and three daughters and now at the end of his life, he once again is given seven sons and three daughters. Why was the number of his children not doubled?

Let me share with you my thoughts: When Job’s first animals were wiped out and he got new animals, he no longer counted the ones he had earlier in his life … but children, they are different. Our children are made in God’s image and are given eternal souls. Our children are irreplaceable. If your child passes away, they remain your child. I have two children who have gone to heaven before me and I have four children here on earth, therefore I have six children.

Job began his life with ten children and he ended his life with twenty. The Lord had indeed given him a double portion.

The pain of losing all of your animals is great, but the pain of losing all of your children is immeasurably greater. But may I encourage you with this word: the pain is great because your love is great.

Job was a righteous man with a deep love for God, but Job grew to know and love God more intimately and personally as a result of his great pain – and so can we. Earlier we read the words of Job, “Behold, my eye has seen all this, my ear has heard and understood it.” (Job 13:1 ESV) But now at the end of this book, Job says, “I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you;” (Job 42:5 ESV)

I remember all too well how much the Lord grew and transformed me through the pain of losing a baby. I pray that whatever trial you are going through now or have gone through in the past, that you will keep your eyes wide open to see God as He walks with you through this dark valley.

Heavenly Father, please grow our faith. Help us to see Your hand guiding us and blessing us every step of the way as we walk through this valley. You are always good and always right. You are all-knowing and all-powerful. We need You every hour. We pray that we will know how deep and high and long and wide is Your love toward us as Your children. We pray that we will see You in our lives and see You in Your living and active Word because we know that You are there. In the Name of Christ Jesus our Lord we pray, Amen.

Watch my testimony for more on how I came to see God more clearly after losing a baby

Secondary Effects of Loss

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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Job 29-30

 “Oh, that I were as in the months of old, as in the days when God watched over me, when his lamp shone upon my head, and by his light I walked through darkness, as I was in my prime, when the friendship of God was upon my tent, when the Almighty was yet with me, when my children were all around me, when my steps were washed with butter, and the rock poured out for me streams of oil!" - Job 29:2-6 ESV 
 “But now they laugh at me, men who are younger than I, whose fathers I would have disdained to set with the dogs of my flock." - Job 30:1 ESV

Job once enjoyed the praise of men. He was once the helper of the afflicted. But now he must endure the disdain even of the “rabble” of his community. I’m afraid that is a very common secondary effect of loss, the loss of the companionship and praise of those around you.

The grief-stricken often feels abandoned by whoever has passed, whether their husband or child or parent or sibling, but they also must wrestle through feelings of abandonment by God. To then experience the loss of their place in their community or “friend circle,” is to heap grief upon grief.

In reading through Job, I want to apply what I’m reading to how I treat my friends who are going through loss. I want to be better at reaching out and walking with them. How about you?

Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father, thank You for all of Your grace. You are impartial. You do not love us better when we are enjoying the praise of man. You do not love us better when our houses are full of children and laughter. You are with us in the dark and trying times. I pray that I would go and do likewise. Help me to draw near to the brokenhearted, to be close to those who are in times of deep distress. Help me to hear these words of Job and apply them to my own life. In the name of Christ I pray, Amen.