Category: Grief

Read through the Bible in 2 years: Job 16-17; Psalm 23

After Job’s friend, Eliphaz, shares his human wisdom with his grieving friend (Job 15), it comes Job’s turn to reply. Job’s first words to his friends are, “I have heard many such things; miserable comforters are you all.”

Ain’t that the truth? Miserable counselors they have been. When you’ve lost all ten of your children, all of your possessions, and even your health, do you really want to hear words like, “Why does your heart carry you away, and why do your eyes flash, that you turn your spirit against God and bring such words out of your mouth?” (Job 15:12)

Remember, friends, there is a time to speak and a time to be silent. I pray that we learn to speak those words that fit the occasion, to ask the Holy Spirit, our great counselor, to guide us in what to say to a grieving friend.

So, how amazing it was to then read Psalm 23 right on the heels of the words of Job’s heartache.

"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 
He makes me lie down in green pastures. 
He leads me beside still waters. 
He restores my soul. 
He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; 
Your rod and your staff, they comfort me." 
- Psalm 23:1-4 ESV

Job’s friends truly were miserable comforters, but God’s rod and staff bring comfort to His sheep.

According to GotQuestions.org, the shepherd’s rod was a “sturdy wooden stick used as a weapon to fight off wild animals” while the shepherd’s staff was “a long, slender stick, often hooked at the tip, used primarily to direct the sheep…. The shepherd used his staff to keep his sheep out of danger and close to himself…. Together the rod and the staff of Psalm 23 paint a picture of the divine Shepherd who wields them. He is strong, competent, and trustworthy; He is present with His sheep, able to defend them and watch over them through all the dangers they face.”

Jesus truly is our very good shepherd who comforts us in all our affliction. (2 Corinthians 1:3-7)

Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself,
and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word.

2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 ESV

Let’s pray,

Heavenly Father,

Please help us to be patient with our friends when they say stupid things because they just don’t know what to say. I’m sure it hurts them to see us hurting. Help us to have grace toward them when they are terrible comforters and say things that make our pain even worse.

I pray that we will trust You all the more as we see what miserable counselors even our dearest friends are. You, Father, are our greatest comforter. Apply Your Word like a balm to our hurting soul. Speak to us through Your Words, healing our brokenness for Your glory, comforting us that we can comfort others.

Lord, I want to thank You in all circumstances and trust that You have purpose in my pain. As I walk through the dark valley, will you please grow my faith muscles? Help me to see Your light glowing at the end of the tunnel, guiding me with your merciful staff and fending away my enemies with Your righteous, rugged rod.

I pray that You will someday use my pain to comfort others who find themselves in pain. Teach me how to speak fit words for hurting hearts. Lead me with Your wisdom to when to speak and when to be silent, when to exhort and when to encourage. I want to be an instrument of Your peace, to be my brother’s keeper, to love my neighbor as myself, and to comfort others with the comfort that we have received from You.

In the Name of our Perfect Comforter, Jesus Christ, we pray, Amen.

Read through the Bible in 2 years: Job 6-7

The two lowest times in my life were in March of 1994 and October of 1998. Yet these were also the two times when Jesus began to radically transform my faith.

March 1994 was when I finally broke up with my fiance, Eric, and moved to St. Louis. Shortly thereafter I met Jesus and began a whole new life with Him by my side.

October 1998 was when I found out that our stillborn son’s body had been lost by the hospital after his autopsy. I couldn’t understand why God would allow this to happen. My son being stillborn was painful enough …. Why this?

I wrestled and struggled and mourned and questioned and grieved for months. What had I done wrong? Was God punishing me? I didn’t want to go to church. I didn’t want to have playdates with my friends and their children. I just wanted to curl up in bed and stay there.

My friends couldn’t understand the depth of my pain. “He wasn’t even full-term.” “You’ll have another.” “I had a miscarriage, too, once. You’ll get over it. Give it some time.” “It was just a body.” Their words dug into my heart like so many little piercing arrows.

I distanced myself from my friends, and they distanced themselves from me, too. I couldn’t relate to them … And they couldn’t relate to me, either. They didn’t want to just sit and grieve with me day after day. A few days of crying was enough, wasn’t it? Why was this still going on weeks and even months later?

This was when the book of Job really entered my life for the first time. Actually, I had first met Job casually in college when I read it as a “great work of ancient literature” in one of my liberal arts classes. But 1998 is when Job’s words pierced my heart even deeper than my friends’ words.

Out of all that pain and confusion God again did something new in my heart. He grew my faith in new and profound ways. He taught me to trust Him even when I don’t understand. He taught me that He is good even when people aren’t. He taught me that I can always turn to Him in my pain and suffering.

This week, reading Job again, really taking time to sit and study and journal and think, Job’s piercing words are aimed at my heart in a new way. Have I withheld kindness from a friend? Have I made light of a friend’s suffering? Can I look my friend in the eye and hold her hand in her grief?

Sisters, let’s not make the same mistakes as Job’s friends. Let’s run toward our friends in their pain, being willing to mourn with those who mourn, rather than running away out of fear and discomfort.

Let’s pray together.

Heavenly Father,

Your grace is sufficient for me for Your power is made perfect in my weakness. Thank You for giving us this book of Job, that we could better understand the grief of men and the goodness of God. Please help us to be good friends, to run towards those who are hurting instead of running away. Help us to be willing to sit and listen, instead of always trying to speak and fix. Make us vessels of Your love and peace and kindness and comfort.

In the Name of Jesus we pray, Amen.

Read Through the Bible in 2 Years: Job 4-5

I’ve often found myself in the position of encourager. People come to me when they need prayer or encouragement or words of wisdom. This is certainly a blessing from God, and I’m honored to serve my sisters in this way. But … what about when it’s me who needs the prayer and encouragement and words of wisdom? Will I be able to take my own advice or will I crumble under the weight? Will my friends take the opportunity to encourage me, or will they point out my shortcomings in my sorrow?

After sitting silently with Job for seven days and nights (Job 2:13) Job’s friend, Eliphaz, finally speaks. His friend’s first words aren’t, “I’m so sorry, Job. I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through. I’m with you and I’ll stay with you through thick and thin. I’m glad to have you as a friend.”

No, Job’s friends’ first words are:

"If one ventures a word with you, will you be impatient? Yet who can keep from speaking? Behold, you have instructed many, and you have strengthened the weak hands. Your words have upheld him who was stumbling, and you have made firm the feeble knees. But now it has come to you, and you are impatient; it touches you, and you are dismayed." - Job 4:3-5

Can I just say how much a simple word of thanksgiving and encouragement can strengthen a heavy heart? Today, at a youth Bible study where I teach, one of the students’ moms approached me and asked if she could take my picture. She went on to explain how much her daughter loves me and that she’s always telling her grandma about “Mrs. Kim.” That put wind in my sails like nothing else. Those few words encouraged me to keep on keeping on.

Something as simple as a hand-written note or a comment on a blog saying, “Thanks for taking the time to write this. Your words really ministered to me,” might just be what that person needs that day. Click the “like” button. Forward a message to someone else who is hurting.

Will we be like the one leper who returned to give Jesus thanks for healing him? Or like the nine who received healing and kept right on their merry way, healed but unappreciative? (Luke 17:11-19)

Sisters, will you pray for me? I’d sure appreciate it.

Will you encourage those who have encouraged you? I know they’d appreciate it.

Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for Your faithful, never-ending grace and encouragement. You never grow tired. You never feel hopeless. You always see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I pray for my sisters who are facing trials today – who have lost a child, a parent, a job. I pray for the one who is losing hope today, who feels like the sun will never shine again, who feels like they can’t make it one more step.

Will you please send someone to them to encourage them? Will You please use me to speak life to someone who needs it? Will You please pour Your love lavishly into my heart, so I have love to give to the next one? Make me Your vessel. Make Your Word a balm to their heavy soul.

Father, I am so weak and I grow weary. Please, Father, encourage me. Pour into me. Lift up my hands and my head. Let me not lose heart. Please send friends around me to lift me up, that I will not faint.

In the Healing Name of Jesus I pray, Amen.