Category: Matthew

Read through the Bible in 2 years: Psalm 71, Matthew 18

If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

Matthew 18:14-17 ESV

Yesterday we looked at not causing someone else to stumble or sin. Today let’s look at what to do when someone else sins against us.

I had someone ask me how to handle a conflict she was having with a sister serving in her church’s children’s ministry. I’ve copyied my answer here in hopes that it will help you, too!

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When a sister in Christ has hurt you, you should approach her with gentleness, humility, and love. Begin by speaking words of genuine encouragement, such as, “I’m so thankful for your service to our children. I appreciate you teaching the children to sing and worship. I want us to work together in a spirit of unity and love.”

Examine your own heart and motives. Look for the log in your own eye. We often notice pride in others more easily than we see it in our own hearts.

Remember, love thinks the best of the other person. Don’t assume that her motives are wrong.

Finally, sometimes the women that I’m serving with are eager to speak words of complaint or criticism, but slow to offer help. I love it when people come to me with offers to help! Try that first.

Here are some other passages you can read to prepare for a difficult discussion with a brother or sister.

Leviticus 19:17-18
Proverbs 27:5-6
Colossians 3:12-17
1 Corinthians 13:1-8a
Ephesians 4:29-32

I highly recommend Ken Sande’s book, The Peacemaker. Here’s a link to a bunch of wonderful downloads from his Peacemaker Ministries and Relational Wisdom

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Heavenly Father,

You are perfect in all Your ways. You have never sinned, and You never will. But people do, Lord. We do sin, and we need forgiveness – from You and from others.

Help us to be quick to listen and slow to anger. Keep us from pride. Make us patient and faithful. Give us discernment to see the log in our own eyes.

We know that You desire unity within Your body, so give us the strength and wisdom we need to reconcile with our brothers. For Your glory and our good we pray this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Prince of Peace. Amen.

Read Through the Bible in 2 years: Psalm 70, Matthew 17-18

Today I read both chapters 17 and 18 because in Matthew 17:24-27 Jesus was explaining to Peter that though He was free from giving the tax (since He is God’s Son), He would still pay the tax so that He would not give offense to the Jewish leaders. Then, in Matthew 18:6, Jesus warned the people about not causing others to sin.

“When they came to Capernaum, the collectors of the two-drachma tax went up to Peter and said, “Does your teacher not pay the tax?”

He said, “Yes.” And when he came into the house, Jesus spoke to him first, saying, “What do you think, Simon? From whom do kings of the earth take toll or tax? From their sons or from others?”

And when he said, “From others,” Jesus said to him, “Then the sons are free. However, not to give offense to them, go to the sea and cast a hook and take the first fish that comes up, and when you open its mouth you will find a shekel. Take that and give it to them for me and for yourself.”

Matthew 17:24-27 ESV

That word “offend” in Matthew 17:27 is the same Greek word as”causes to sin” in Matthew 18:6, 8, and 9 — skandalizō.

“Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me, but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea….

Woe to the world for temptations to sin! For it is necessary that temptations come, but woe to the one by whom the temptation comes!

And if your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life crippled or lame than with two hands or two feet to be thrown into the eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire.”

Matthew 18:5-9 ESV

Certainly, we need to be careful how we live because we want to honor God in all we do, but we also don’t want to cause others to stumble. Let’s keep a careful watch over what we say and what we do, that we may be a help and not a hindrance to our brothers and sisters. This might mean limiting our freedoms.

Remember, Jesus was free from paying that temple tax because He was the Son of God, yet He paid it, so He wouldn’t cause others to stumble. Likewise, God might be calling you to not do something out of love for your weaker brother.

Want more? Romans 14 and 1 Corinthians 8 would be great passages to study.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for Your immeasurable mercy and grace towards me, for forgiving me by the blood of Christ. I pray that I would pay careful attention to how I walk. I want to be my brother’s keeper, for Your glory and his good. Make me a helping hand and not a stumbling block.  Please give me Your strength and discernment to do what is right. In the name of Jesus Christ, the Spotless Lamb, I pray. Amen.

Read through the Bible in 2 years: Psalm 65, Matthew 12

But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?”

And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said,
“Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is
my brother and sister and mother.”

Matthew 12:48-50 ESV

Yesterday’s post about Jesus carrying your burdens versus carrying your own burdens got me really thinking about the earthly importance of living in close community with other Christian sisters. I am so blessed to be a part of a vibrant, living body of believers! We have retreats together twice a year — with another one coming up next weekend. I can’t wait!

If you haven’t found some ladies to “do life with,” to plow the field with, let me encourage you – YOU NEED TO! All good things take work, including having rich relationships with women.

Here are some tips that might help you in this:

1. Don’t wait for someone else to reach out to you. They may be doing the very same thing. Remember that Christ made the first move. He reached out to you. Make the effort today to reach out to someone else. Get a date on the calendar and keep it.

2. Don’t only reach out to people who look like you, think like you, and act like you. Some of the ladies who’ve had the greatest impact on my life have been the most different from me. I need their viewpoint in my life!

3. Don’t be surprised when the scheduled time to get together, comes and you don’t want to go. Resist the temptation to make an excuse to stay home. You’ll miss out on a blessing … and so will your friend!

4. Don’t think your relational needs can be adequately met through online friendships or scrolling through social media. No matter how great that blogger 😉 or influencer or Facebook group friend seems … You’re only seeing a tiny slice of their life. Real friends will be IRL friends. If you meet that perfect sister online (which does happen!), that relationship needs to go deeper than posting photos and exchanging text messages.

5. Don’t run when the going gets tough! Authentic relationships are messy … But sisters stand by each other through the storms of life. When a sister says something that hurts your feelings, you have only two choices: (1) overlook the offense or (2) sit down with them and talk about it. Abandoning your sister isn’t an option. Yes, there are seasons for every relationship, but “breaking up” over a pretty argument or silently creeping out the back door isn’t an option when you’re sisters.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for giving me so many sisters in faith. Thank You for how they have spurned me on to love and good deeds. Thank You for the ways that they have shouldered my burdens and walked before me to help make my path easier. Thank You for the times that they have reproved me, corrected me, and taught me. Thank You for the examples that they have been for me in faith, love, and good deeds.

I pray that You would send someone to me today who needs a friend, someone that can bless me and who I can also bless. I pray, Father, that You would help me to be a good friend, to love others like You loved me. Help me to recognize how greatly I need community and to be willing to put in the work it demands! Help me to be humble and recognize the log in my own eye, rather than being so quick to see the speck in my sister’s eye.

It is in the matchless name of Jesus Christ, the Friend who sticks closer than any brother, we pray. Amen.