Category: Parenting and Motherhood

The Rollercoaster Ride of Life

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Joshua 12:1-14:5

See this rollercoaster? It’s called “Runaway Mine Train.” If you ever find yourself in St Louis, you can go to Six Flags and ride it yourself. The Mine Train is about the only rollercoaster ride that I’ll go on.

I don’t like rollercoasters that shoot you out going 100 mph. I don’t like rollercoasters that make you travel backwards or through endless dark tunnels. I don’t like rollercoasters that make you spin around in circles and leave you dizzy. I prefer a more sedate, predictable ride with just a few bumps and turns.

25 years ago today, we found out that the much-planned-for baby that I was carrying had passed away in my womb. Less than a month earlier I’d walked into my doctor’s office for what I thought would be a routine 12-week checkup, absolutely unaware that the entire course of my life was about to change. That day I had the first of a series ultrasounds which revealed that my unborn son had a fully obstructed bladder, followed by an amniocentesis to check for generic anomalies, and ultimately in-utero surgery. The rollercoaster ride I hadn’t signed up for came to an abrupt halt with the words, “I’m sorry, Mrs. Endraske. We can’t find a heartbeat.”

But, God.

God had different plans for me and my family. God had a different little boy in mind to grow up in my family. God was at work behind the scenes for who He wanted to be my oldest son. This journey, too, would feel like a runaway rollercoaster ride, but this time the ride included the prize of a beautiful little boy in my arms.

There have been plenty of situations in my fifty years of life that I never would’ve chosen for myself. Twists and turns, highs and lows, that I wish I’d never taken.

But, God.

El Roi, the God who sees, is the One who has expertly laid out the tracks that my life has run on. Though my life has all too often felt completely out-of-control, the truth is that God has been guiding and directing my course.

My heart had planned my way, but the Lord is who established my steps. (Proverbs 16:9)

Many have been the plans of my mind, but it has been the purpose of the Lord that has stood. (Proverbs 19:21)

The Lord’s plans have been for my welfare and hope, not for my harm (Jeremiah 29:11-14).

The roller coaster ride of my life has compelled me to seek God, rather than merely coasting down the paths I would have chosen for myself.

How about you? Are you on a ride of life right now that you’re thinking, “I didn’t sign up for this?” Are you looking frantically for the escape hatch? What do you think the Lord is teaching you in the process?

Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father, Your ways are higher and better than ours. You hold my life, my future in Your Almighty hand. You are on Your sovereign throne. Help me trust You. Even when I’m walking through dark valleys, help me remember that You are with me, holding my hand and guiding me in the paths of righteousness for Your Name’s sake. Give me strength to trust You to rightly order and direct my steps. In the Name of Jesus Christ, my Good Shepherd and the Captain of my soul, I pray. Amen.

Fear Makes You Hide and Deceive

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Joshua 9

When Eve was afraid in the garden after she’d eaten the forbidden fruit, she hid from God. (Genesis 3:10)

When Sarah was afraid since she’d laughed at the pronouncement of her upcoming pregnancy, she lied, denying that she’d laughed. (Genesis 18:15)

In today’s passage in Joshua 9, when the Gibeonites heard about what the Israelites had done to the cities of Ai and Jericho, they were afraid, so they concocted an elaborate scheme to deceive Joshua, insisting that they had come from a very distant country rather than from a nearby land.

Have you ever been confronted with something you’re ashamed of or embarrassed about? Maybe it was something as small as how much you weigh or how much you spent at the grocery store that day or how many cookies you ate from that enormous platter of cookies that was sitting out on the counter tempting you all day? Maybe it was something bigger like you’ve been caught speeding or cheating on your taxes or stealing something from work?

When you find yourself in one of those situations, are you tempted to lie? To bend the truth? To cover up or hide what really happened?

Do you say you weigh five pounds less than you really do or you only ate two cookies when you know you perfectly well that you ate four?

Do you say you didn’t see the speed limit sign, even though you knew what the speed limit was because you drive that street every day?

Oftentimes our gut reaction to even the tiniest fear of embarrassment or shame will be to lie, hide, and deceive, even though deep inside we know we should come clean and tell the truth.

Let me encourage you, friend. Make your fear of God greater than your fear of man. Fear bringing shame to His name more than you fear bringing shame on your own. Remind yourself that God knows what is true and you can’t hide from Him.

One little deception begets more deceit. That first lie will lead you down a path you don’t want to go down.

I wonder, has the Lord brought something to your mind as you’ve been reading this that you feel guilty about? Something you’ve hidden or lied about? Come clean today. Confess right now. God is quick to forgive. He loves a repentant heart.

Heavenly Father, You are the truth. It is impossible for You to lie. But for us fallen women, it’s often easier for us in the moment to lie rather than face the consequences of our actions. Lord, I pray that our fear of disappointing You would be greater than our fear of disappointing someone else. I pray that we would be women of integrity and honor because You are a God of integrity and honor. Forgive us for all the times we’ve taken the shortcut of secrecy rather than keeping carefully on the road of reality. I’m asking You to cleanse me of this sin in the blood of Jesus Christ. Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit in me. To the glory of Your Name I pray. Amen.

All God’s Words for All God’s People

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Joshua 8

Every person needs every word that the Lord has given to us. Joshua read every word to all the people, and so should we. (Joshua 8:35)

We need the Old Testament as well as the New. We need all the words; those that Moses wrote and those that Jesus spoke; those that David sang and those that Isaiah prophesied; those that Peter spoke simply and that Paul penned eloquently. We need them all.

Men as well as women, children as well as adults, those who are unfamiliar with the scriptures and those who grew up with them, everyone needs God’s Word.

I understand that there is value in making our children’s ministries age appropriate. Children benefit greatly from making crafts and dancing around while singing songs about Joshua and Jericho. But children also need to study the Word as God’s inspired, true, trustworthy Word – not some fairy tale on par with “Goldilocks and the Three Bears.” The Bible is more than a series of inspirational stories to teach our kids to be good and kind and helpful, not to lie or cheat or steal. The Bible is the bread of life, even for children.

Additionally, children have an incredible ability to memorize the Word. Would you rather your children memorize “Hop on Pop” and “The Cat in the Hat” or the 23rd Psalm and the Sermon on the Mount?

And let’s not forget that children have been created by God to receive with simple faith the words of their teachers and parents. Children absorb truth (and lies) like thirsty sponges. Would you rather train your children to believe in tooth fairies and boogie monsters or the Holy Trinity?

Every word of God proves true; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.

Proverbs 30:5 ESV

Proverbs 30:5 is a great verse for you, your husband, your children, your neighbor, and everyone else to hide in their hearts.

Hold the presses … My daughter (along with my two-year-old granddaughter) just called me, so I got to have a little Grammy break to read “Inside a Barn in the Country” and a story from my old Beginners Bible story book, and sing the Ten Commandments song with hand motions.

Then, my daughter told me about a new podcast for children that she’d found called “God’s Big Story“. I just love how God shows His goodness and sovereignty in His perfect timing. Don’t you?

Have you ever heard of this podcast? Are there other children or family podcasts that you’ve found? I’d love to hear about them.

God Brings Hidden Sin to Light

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Joshua 7

The Lord is perfect in His power and wisdom and knowledge. Nothing is hidden from Him. Nothing is outside of His control. Who are we to think we can hide from Him? He is so good to bring to light in His sovereign timing the things that are hidden.

Yet, even when things remain hidden, our actions have consequences. We might think that we aren’t hurting anyone in those little secret things we do. The truth is: that’s not true. Our sin impacts those around us, whether they find out about our sin or not. When we pursue – or remain – in sin, it changes our outlook on life. Our words and actions are affected by our inner thoughts and desires.

Little by little, those sinful desires inside us tempt us and lure us away from the Lord’s goodness. In today’s passage in Joshua 7, Achan’s sin began the moment he coveted the spoils of the town of Jericho. This coveting led to breaking God’s command to destroy these items, and that led to even more deceit and disobedience. Achan’s sinful choices led to the death of his children, as well as the defeat of Israel at Ai and the death of 36 of his countrymen.

Don’t believe the words of that lying serpent who says, “No one will ever know. You’re not hurting anybody. It’s no big deal. God is just mean. He is withholding good things from you.”

The truth is: God knows even if no one else ever finds out and your sin stays buried under your tent.

The truth is: You’re hurting yourself, and those around you, when you choose sin over obedience

The truth is: Every sin is a big deal when inspected under the blinding light of God’s holy perfection.

The truth is: God is good, very good, and He wants for Your good. Hidden sin will tear you up inside. It wreaks havoc on your heart, your mind, your family, your community, your church – even if you don’t realize it. And He knows that, so He’s protecting you and your people from it’s harm.

And praise be to God, He is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast in love and faithfulness. He is a God of second chances. He wants so much to reconcile you back to Himself that He sent His own Son to die in Your place, that You might be forgiven and set free of your slavery to that sin that’s holding you captive.

1 John 1:6-9 ESV — “If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Acts 3:19-20a ESV — “Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.”

Romans 4:7 ESV — “Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven, and whose sins are covered;”

Isaiah 1:18 ESV — “Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.”

Ephesians 1:7 ESV — “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace.”

Heavenly Father, You have forgiven me so much. Time and time again I have wandered off the path of holiness and found myself again in the swamp of sin. Thank You for Your unending forgiveness and mercy. Help me to clean out the closets of my soul, to bring into the light things that I’d rather keep hidden, to unearth those hidden things I’ve tried to bury so no one would find out. Make me a peacemaker. Make me an agent of Your peace, an ambassador for Your kingdom, a messenger of reconciliation. May the love of Christ control me – and compel me – to preach the good news in any place, at any time, and to any one. Because, Lord, You are worthy and deserve the worship of all of your Creation. In the Name of Jesus Christ, my Savior and Redeemer and Lord, I pray. Amen.

Yet Not I but Through Christ in Me – City Alight

The Goodness and Sovereignty of God in Bringing Hidden Things to the Light

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Joshua 5-6

God is a “that very day” God. He has purpose in His timing. He fed the Israelites with manna until the day after they had the produce of the Promised Land. This kind of perfect timing always encourages my faith in the goodness and sovereignty of God.

God is also a “that very person” God. He has purpose in His people. God didn’t have to choose Rahab the prostitute to deliver the Hebrew spies, but He did. God saw in her something that He wanted to use in His kingdom. This, too, encourages my faith in the goodness and sovereignty of God.

Are you going through something right now that is tearing you up? Something that’s gnawing at your mind and eating you up inside? I am. And the Lord knows it. The Lord sees what is hidden in the dark.

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.

O LORD, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.

You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.

You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.

Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, you are there!

If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.

If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.

Psalm 139:1-12 ESV

The Lord knows what is hidden in my heart and your heart, and He knows what is hidden in that other person’s heart, too.

And no creature is hidden
from his sight, but all are naked and
exposed to the eyes of him to whom
we must give account.

Hebrews 4:13 ESV

Have you ever dealt with bedbugs? We did. It was awful. The thing is, though, we didn’t even know it! Those sneaky little things were eating my son alive, but we didn’t even know it.

Then, finally, after weeks of unexplainable bites, I got out my handy-dandy flashlight and peered into the cracks and crevices of my son’s bed frame, and there they were. Every nook and cranny of that blessed thing were full of them. But I didn’t even know it! And if it hadn’t been for the bites covering my son’s body, I’d never know to go looking for them.

Here’s what that taught me: Don’t be mad when evidence finally comes to light. Be thankful that those hidden things are finally being revealed so they can be dealt with!

I’m thankful we figured out what was causing those bites all over my son’s body … so we could deal with it and get rid of them! Likewise, I don’t want hidden sins to go undetected, wreaking havoc on a person’s heart, life, and soul.

My greatest desire is for everyone to be saved, to truly know the peace, love, and joy that only faith in Jesus brings. Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father, You are the God of angel armies. You can bring to rubble even the highest, strongest walls erected by the greatest nations. One Word from Your lips makes even the mightiest army fall to their knees. You know all things. You are all-mighty, and You are good. Help me to trust in Your perfect timing and Your perfect wisdom. Redeem the things that are ugly, like You redeemed Rahab … and me. Thank You for Your grace toward me. Thank You for giving me a testimony. I am Yours forever more! You are God, and You saved my soul! I am free! I was dead, but now I’m alive! All praise to Your Name, Jesus! Amen.

Saved by Soul – City Alight

Stones of Remembrance and Your Children

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Joshua 4

I grew up listening to my mom’s stories, stories about her life growing up on a dairy farm, how she and my dad planned a quick wedding before he went off to college out-of-state, how I was finally born three weeks past my due date, and many more. I’ve heard the same stories again and again, but somehow I can’t seem to remember all the details. I need to be reminded of these true stories that are important to my family’s life.

The Israelites had been miraculously delivered out of slavery in Egypt. They had spent 40 years wandering in the desert while the Lord miraculously fed them daily with bread from heaven. And now they are going to miraculously cross the Jordan River into the Promised Land of Israel.

Their children will need to hear these stories told again and again. They will need to be reminded of how God provided and God delivered and God led His people, not just so they’d know their people’s history but so they’d know their God.

Our children need to know how God worked in our lives, so they will trust that He can work in their lives, too.

Remember, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” (Hebrews 13:8 ESV) Let’s tell our children some stories about how the Lord has worked in our lives, setting up some Stones of Remembrance for them to know and trust God. This is one of many reasons I wrote the story of my Jesus transformed my life from Evangelical Atheist to Evangelical Christian.

I’d love to hear your stories. Leave a comment here so others can be encouraged by how the Lord has worked in your life.

Heavenly Father, You are the eternal, unchanging God. You have always been perfect, and You always will be. But, Father, we need change. We need transformation. We need to be made new creations by the power of Your Spirit in us. And so do our children and our neighbors. Please work in us and through us, give us courage and wisdom to share the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ with whoever You place in our path. Let us not forget the Stones of Remembrance that You have given to us. May we remember You, and how You have led us, delivered us, and provided for us. In the Name of Jesus Christ we pray. Amen.

All the Way My Savior Leads Me – Fanny Crosby

A Prayer for my Children

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Deuteronomy 33-34

Sixteen years ago my youngest son was born. He is the “son of my old age” 😂 and the source of great joy in my life. Watching him grow to a man before my very eyes has truly been a treasure. Reading Deuteronomy 33-34, I was reminded that Moses never knew these twelve sons of Israel. They’d all passed into eternity before Moses has even been born – as had Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob themselves – yet God remained faithful to His promises for their offspring.

“…This is the land of which I swore to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob,
‘I will give it to your offspring’…”

Deuteronomy 34:4 ESV

I want to take this page today to offer up a prayer for my son, along with my other children, and to the offspring that the Lord will give me through each of them.

Heavenly Father, Being a mother is a high calling and privilege. It is an honor to carry a child in the womb, to birth a helpless little baby, and to bring it up day after day in the fear and knowledge of the Lord. I have often fallen short, so I ask You to cover my shortcomings with Your grace and wisdom.

Bless my children. Bless the spouses that You have provided (and will provide) for them. Bless the children that they will bear, along with their children’s children, the children I may never see with my own eyes or hold in my arms, but who will walk in the legacy that my husband and I are leaving behind.

Father, I don’t ask for financial or physical blessings. Rather, I ask You for spiritual blessings – the blessings of faith, wisdom, righteousness, peace, and joy – founded on their trust in You. I ask for deep and abiding relationships between the mothers and their children, the fathers and their children, and especially between the husband and his wife, because these relationships point to You – Your faithfulness, Your kindness, Your integrity.

I pray that my family line will be full of servant-leaders, humble men and women willing to sacrifice their own comfort for the good of others and for the glory of Your Name. May the light of Christ shine out of them, that others will be drawn to You through their life and testimony.

In the Name of Jesus Christ, Our Perfect Example and Perfect Savior, I pray. Amen.

The Power of Song

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Deuteronomy 31:14-32:52

And the LORD said to Moses, “Behold, you are about to lie down with your fathers. Then this people will rise and whore after the foreign gods among them in the land that they are entering, and they will forsake me and break my covenant that I have made with them. Then my anger will be kindled against them in that day, and I will forsake them and hide my face from them, and they will be devoured. And many evils and troubles will come upon them, so that they will say in that day, ‘Have not these evils come upon us because our God is not among us?’ And I will surely hide my face in that day because of all the evil that they have done, because they have turned to other gods.

“Now therefore write this song and teach it to the people of Israel. Put it in their mouths, that this song may be a witness for me against the people of Israel. For when I have brought them into the land flowing with milk and honey, which I swore to give to their fathers, and they have eaten and are full and grown fat, they will turn to other gods and serve them, and despise me and break my covenant. And when many evils and troubles have come upon them, this song shall confront them as a witness (for it will live unforgotten in the mouths of their offspring). For I know what they are inclined to do even today, before I have brought them into the land that I swore to give.”

So Moses wrote this song the same day and taught it to the people of Israel.

Deuteronomy 31:16-22 ESV

In reading Deuteronomy 32, the song of Moses, don’t forget these words from Deuteronomy 32. This song has purpose, as all songs do. Songs have the power to drill words deep into hearts. I can recite word for word songs from my childhood and my teenage years even though I haven’t heard them for years. How about you?

What songs are your kids listening to?

What songs are you listening to?

What music is playing in your car? In your home? In your mind?

What songs do you sing at church on Sunday mornings? Are they rich? Are they lovely? Do they draw your heart to worship the Lord and do they teach timeless truths?

If you’ve been reading my blog regularly, you’ll know how often I share a song to go with the scripture for that day. I’m so very thankful that the Lord gave us the gift of music – that we can give it back to Him, but also that we can have a song reverberating in our own hearts and minds as we go throughout our day.

Heavenly Father, Thank You for giving us the gift of music. We want to give it back to You. We want to worship You in song. With words and with musical instruments, we pour out our praise and our griefs before You. Help us pay careful watch to the music that we’re putting in our mouths and our minds. We want to memorize whatever is true and lovely and good and excellent and praiseworthy. We don’t want ugly songs stuck inside our heads. Please, Lord, prick our hearts with these words from Your Scriptures today and help us to be careful how we walk. In the Name of Jesus we pray. Amen.

If you don’t have a hymnal at home, try this one – Then Sings My Soul: 150 of the World’s Greatest Hymn Stories

Deuteronomy 8:3 Song
Come Thou Fount (Above All Else) – Shane and Shane
There is a Fountain Filled with Blood

1
There is a fountain filled with blood
Drawn from Immanuel’s veins;
And sinners, plunged beneath that flood,
Lose all their guilty stains:
Lose all their guilty stains,
Lose all their guilty stains;
And sinners, plunged beneath that flood,
Lose all their guilty stains.
2
The dying thief rejoiced to see
That fountain in his day;
And there may I, though vile as he,
Wash all my sins away:
Wash all my sins away,
Wash all my sins away;
And there may I, though vile as he,
Wash all my sins away.
3
Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood
Shall never lose its power,
Till all the ransomed ones of God
Be saved, to sin no more:
Be saved, to sin no more,
Be saved, to sin no more;
Till all the ransomed ones of God,
Be saved to sin no more.
4
E’er since by faith I saw the stream
Thy flowing wounds supply,
Redeeming love has been my theme,
And shall be till I die:
And shall be till I die,
And shall be till I die;
Redeeming love has been my theme,
And shall be till I die.
5
When this poor lisping, stammering tongue
Lies silent in the grave,
Then in a nobler, sweeter song,
I’ll sing Thy power to save:
I’ll sing Thy power to save,
I’ll sing Thy power to save;
Then in a nobler, sweeter song,
I’ll sing Thy power to save.

Do Not Fear … For It Is the Lord your God Who Goes with You

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years Deuteronomy 31

First Moses told all Israel, “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV

Next, Moses immediately summoned Joshua to tell him personally, “Be strong and courageous, for you shall go with this people into the land that the LORD has sworn to their fathers to give them, and you shall put them in possession of it. It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” (Deuteronomy 31:7-8)

Several months ago I deleted my Facebook account. I don’t miss it much. I’ve gained more than I’ve lost. But one thing I do miss is reading Sunshine Meister’s beautifully written testimonies of God’s daily sustaining grace in her life after her son Nahum’s traumatic brain injury in 2021. This morning I woke up thinking about her and tried to find a way to follow her somewhere other than Facebook, and I stumbled on this testimony on YouTube.

Her words will encourage you more than mine. To God be the glory. Do not fear or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you.

Sunshine Meister – Finding Comfort in God’s Presence

Change my Heart, Oh God

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Deuteronomy 29-30

And Moses summoned all Israel and said to them: “You have seen all that the LORD did before your eyes in the land of Egypt, to Pharaoh and to all his servants and to all his land, the great trials that your eyes saw, the signs, and those great wonders. But to this day the LORD has not given you a heart to understand or eyes to see or ears to hear.”

Deuteronomy 29:2-4 ESV

These people were eyewitnesses to numerous unexplainable miracles, yet they didn’t understand. Like Jesus who spoke with such wisdom, yet many didn’t understand.

Each of us need the Lord’s tender hands to circumcise our hearts and our children’s hearts, so that we will love the LORD our God with all our heart and soul, that we may live. (Deuteronomy 30:6)

Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father, I have seen You work with my own eyes, yet I am so quick to forget. I’m quick to go astray, to wander away from You. Please, open the eyes of my heart, that I might truly see and believe. Please, circumcise my heart, though it’s painful, I need it. I have grown calloused. Break my heart for what breaks Yours. Strengthen me to obey You, loving You with all my heart, soul, strength, and mind, and loving my neighbor as myself. In the Name of Jesus Christ, my perfect example and my Savior, Amen.

Change my Heart, Oh God – Maranatha Music