Twenty-five years ago, in July of 1998, I found out I was pregnant with my second child. Our first daughter was two years old, and I was overjoyed that we were expecting again. Unfortunately, during a routine 12-week ultrasound, we discovered that our unborn son had a bladder obstruction. His bladder was as big as his head. This wasn’t good.
On September 10, the doctors attempted an in-utero procedure to place a stent to drain Tommy’s bladder into the amniotic sac, but the procedure was unsuccessful and four days later we found out that he had passed away in my womb.
When we first learned that Tommy had an obstructed bladder, I prayed for God to either heal him completely or take him quickly, but after losing him, I would have given anything for one more month or even one more day. I wanted to feel him move again in my empty womb anf see my belly grow big and round and full with him. I would have loved for him to grow big enough for me to bathe him and take his little handprints, even if I had had to do those things after he had died.
Friends, there is no better way or better time to lose your child. You are never ready for it. It all hurts.
But this devastating experience grew my faith exponentially. I leaned into the Lord and His Word like never before. I began praying and reading the Bible in earnest, and I learned to trust God like never before.
I ended up founding an online ministry and writing a book called A Child of Promise – part story, part Bible Study, part journal – for other moms and dads who found themselves in the position of carrying an unborn baby with a poor or fatal prognosis.
God used this pain not only for my own good, but also for the good of other hurting families. Like our reading in Romans 9, God is the trustworthy potter in each of our lives. He has mercy on those He wills, and He hardens those whom He wills. And all I can say is that I’m thankful for His sovereign, merciful hand that shaped both me and my son.
Heavenly Father, I know that You are good. I know that You are sovereign over heaven and earth. I trust You even when it’s hard. I pray for my hurting sisters. I pray that You will encourage them and fill them with Your supernatural peace that surpasses understanding. Be their calm in the storm. Hold their hand as they walk through the fire, and carry them when they can’t take one more step. I pray that Your Word would be a light to their feet and a light to their paths, pointing them straight to You. In the name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
What then shall we say to these things?
If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?
Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn?
Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 8:28-39 ESV
My grandmother didn’t like to sit still. She always found something to keep herself busy. If she was watching something on TV, she kept her hands busy with counted cross-stitch.
As a college graduation gift, Grandma Norma gave me this cross-stitched picture of an American Sign Language postage stamp.
When I was about ten years old, she taught me to cross-stitch. In the last thirty years, I’ve made a few things of my own and have really enjoyed the process. I’ve learned two big lessons:
Don’t judge the finished project until it’s finished. You can’t really see how it’s going to turn out until it’s all the way done.
A great finished product takes a great amount of time to finish.
And such is life.
There will be lots of bumps along the way. There will be times of fruitfulness and times of barrenness. There will be lots of happy times, but also plenty of storms. But we can trust that God sees the finished product and He’s still working.
Which reminds me of this song that my kids sang when they were little.
I am a Promise – Homecoming Kids / Gaither Music
A child’s life is a work in progress, but so are ours. And if you’re God’s child, then you can trust that the Lord will complete the work that He has begun in you. You can walk with confidence that He is carrying you in the palm of His hand, even when you can’t see Him working.
After my grandma died, my mom found this darling bird that she had made. I added the Bible verse and gave it to my granddaughter.
Giving birth to my stillborn son, Tommy, was a completely different experience than giving birth to my living children, not because the physical pain was less but because there was no expectation of joy to come. It’s hard to watch a mother in obvious pain as she groans and struggles in the pains of labor and childbirth, but the pain she’s experiencing is not without hope. That mother has hope during her pain because she knows that in the end she will hold a precious little bundle of love in her arms.
Earlier this week I saw this definition of HOPE penned on a dry erase board in a friend’s kitchen. Desire plus expectation equals HOPE. Expectation without desire is merely drudgery. Desire without expectation is just wishful thinking. But expectation combined with desire puts fuel in our tanks and joy in our hearts. Hope enables us to keep pushing forward through the pain.
Dear sisters, take heart in Christ. There is something infinitely better than a pot of gold on the other side of the pains of this life. All of creation is groaning today, but everlasting joy is coming. In this world we do indeed have trouble but we can take heart because Jesus has overcome the world. He has triumphed over sin and death. If the Spirit of God dwells in you, then you can have total confidence that you will be raised from the dead, just as Christ was. This is our sure confidence and hope.
If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you. So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh.
Romans 8:11-12 ESV
Come, Thou Fount of every blessing, Tune my heart to sing Thy grace; Streams of mercy, never ceasing, Call for songs of loudest praise. Teach me some melodious sonnet, Sung by flaming tongues above. Praise the mount, I’m fixed upon it, Mount of Thy redeeming love.
Sorrowing I shall be in spirit, Till released from flesh and sin, Yet from what I do inherit, Here Thy praises I’ll begin; Here I raise my Ebenezer; Here by Thy great help I’ve come; And I hope, by Thy good pleasure, Safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger, Wandering from the fold of God; He, to rescue me from danger, Interposed His precious blood; How His kindness yet pursues me Mortal tongue can never tell, Clothed in flesh, till death shall loose me I cannot proclaim it well.
O to grace how great a debtor Daily I’m constrained to be! Let Thy goodness, like a fetter, Bind my wandering heart to Thee. Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love; Here’s my heart, O take and seal it, Seal it for Thy courts above.
O that day when freed from sinning, I shall see Thy lovely face; Clothèd then in blood washed linen How I’ll sing Thy sovereign grace; Come, my Lord, no longer tarry, Take my ransomed soul away; Send thine angels now to carry Me to realms of endless day.
The original text of the hymn “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing”
If you’ve ever taken care of a 2-year-old, you’ll understand what I’m talking about here. You tell the child that they’re not allowed to have something or do something, and then that is exactly what they absolutely have to have or do. All too often the battle within my own heart looks way too much like my battles with my two-year-old grandchild.
No, Honey, you can’t have that knife. It’s dangerous. Put it down right now.
Oh, Sweetheart, I’m sorry, but you can’t go down the stairs by yourself. Grammy has to hold your hand. You might get hurt.
Well, Love, it’s time for bed. Grammy’s going to read you some books. You can pick three books for me to read. Only three. No, only three. Just three.
Why can’t I obey the Lord promptly, cheerfully, and completely? Why does He have to tell me the same thing time after time, day after day? Don’t I trust Him?
Heavenly Father, I know that You are good and kind. I know that Your Laws are for my good, to keep me safe. I want to bring You glory and honor. Please help me to trust and obey You with all my heart. In the Name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.
Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Romans 6:12-7:6
Reading through this passage made me all myself a few questions – maybe you’d like to ask them if yourself, too.
Who is on the throne of my heart? Jesus, Me, the world, or the devil?
Who is reigning over my life? Jesus, Me, the world, or the devil?
Who is my Master? Jesus, Me, the world, or the devil?
Who do I obey? Jesus, Me, the world, or the devil?
Father, I want to obey You because You are a Good King and a Good Master. You want for my good, and not for my harm. Help me to listen to Your Word and Your voice, and help me to trust You and obey. I want to be Your obedient lamb. In the Name of Jesus I pray. Amen.
King of my Heart / Goodness of God – Caleb & Kelsey
Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Romans 5:20-6:11
Now the law came in to increase the trespass, but where sin increased, grace abounded all the more, so that, as sin reigned in death, grace also might reign through righteousness leading to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means!
How can we who died to sin still live in it? Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?
We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his.
We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin.
Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.
Romans 5:20-6:11 ESV
Did you notice how many times the words dead, death, and died appeared in these 13 verses?
I once was dead in my sins, but now that person has died. I’ve been born anew and given new life, eternal life, in Christ. It’s crazy how ALIVE I feel now – and how dead I once felt, but I didn’t even know it. I once feared death, but now I look forward with certainty to eternity with Jesus.
This week we will be reading through Romans 6-8, but before we take these chapters apart, let’s look at them together in context. It’s so beautiful to read chapters 5 – 8 all together and feel the excitement building. Try listening to these 4 chapters together while you’re exercising or cooking dinner or cleaning your home.
Last Sunday I finished an 8-week study about living a “MORE THAN” life in Christ. (I’m hoping to make this into my next book. Will you pray for me about this?) But, anyway, back to the subject at hand, I wanted to share some of one of the lessons as I looked at the life of Mephibosheth, a poor wretch of a man who was adopted into a King’s family. His story can be found in 2 Samuel 9.
Let me begin by sharing a little back story with you before we read. David was the second king of the nation of Israel. The first king, King Saul, along with his son, Jonathan, had recently died. David and Jonathan had been lifelong best friends despite King Saul’s fanatical hatred for David and repeated attempts to take David’s life. Though the family of the newly-crowned David and the family of the former king, Saul, should have been enemies of the highest degree, David was determined to keep his covenant with Jonathan by blessing his descendants.
And David said, “Is there still anyone left of the house of Saul, that I may show him kindness for Jonathan’s sake?”
Now there was a servant of the house of Saul whose name was Ziba, and they called him to David. And the king said to him, “Are you Ziba?”
And he said, “I am your servant.”
And the king said, “Is there not still someone of the house of Saul, that I may show the kindness of God to him?”
Ziba said to the king, “There is still a son of Jonathan; he is crippled in his feet.”
The king said to him, “Where is he?”
And Ziba said to the king, “He is in the house of Machir the son of Ammiel, at Lo-debar.”
Then King David sent and brought him from the house of Machir the son of Ammiel, at Lo-debar. And Mephibosheth the son of Jonathan, son of Saul, came to David and fell on his face and paid homage. And David said, “Mephibosheth!”
And he answered, “Behold, I am your servant.”
And David said to him, “Do not fear, for I will show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan, and I will restore to you all the land of Saul your father, and you shall eat at my table always.”
And he paid homage and said, “What is your servant, that you should show regard for a dead dog such as I?”
Then the king called Ziba, Saul’s servant, and said to him, “All that belonged to Saul and to all his house I have given to your master’s grandson. And you and your sons and your servants shall till the land for him and shall bring in the produce, that your master’s grandson may have bread to eat. But Mephibosheth your master’s grandson shall always eat at my table.”
Now Ziba had fifteen sons and twenty servants. Then Ziba said to the king, “According to all that my lord the king commands his servant, so will your servant do.” So Mephibosheth ate at David’s table, like one of the king’s sons. And Mephibosheth had a young son, whose name was Mica. And all who lived in Ziba’s house became Mephibosheth’s servants.
So Mephibosheth lived in Jerusalem, for he ate always at the king’s table. Now he was lame in both his feet.
2 Samuel 9:1-13 ESV
Certainly Mephibosheth was not expecting to be chosen to be brought into the family by the King. According to human logic and emotions, Mephibosheth should have been the very last to be picked.
Like God had chosen King David, the youngest of Jesse’s sons, David has chosen Mephibosheth, a cripple, the grandson of his enemy, to feast at the king’s table all the days of his life.
In the rural area where I live, there are countless stray dogs roaming around which means there are all too many dead dogs laying on the side of the road, struck dead by a passing car – unloved and unnoticed. Maybe someone would pull over to help a living dog, but a dead dog? Nah.
Mephibosheth sees himself not only as a dog, but a dead dog. Why would David choose him? He is wholly unworthy of this honor. He has done nothing to deserve it, and he has nothing to offer him in return. Like the great 18th century preacher and theologian Jonathan Edwards said, “You contribute nothing to your salvation except the sin that made it necessary.”
And even more awesome than all of the stuff Mephibosheth got to enjoy, more than the produce and the palace and the servants …. Mephibosheth got to enjoy the presence of the King.
All too often we see ourselves more like Eliab, David’s big, strong, older brother, worthy of being chosen by God, rather than like Mephibosheth. The truth of the matter is that from birth we are born enemies of God, cripped by our sin, residents of the enemy’s camp, wholly unable to save ourselves. And while we were living far away in the desolate land of LoDebar, God pursued us, brought us into His palace, seated us at His table, and made us His daughters.
But how is that even possible? How can a holy God invite a sinful person like me into His family? Well, in human terms, it isn’t. With man this is indeed impossible, but with God all things are possible
The miracle of being made a child of God is the greatest conceivable miracle. Like Romans 5:7-8 tells us that one will scarcely die for a righteous person – a just, law-abiding, rule-keeping, moral person – though perhaps for a good person – a truly kind, loving, benevolent person – one would dare even to die. But GOD shows HIS love for us in that while we were STILL SINNERS, Christ died for us.
Jesus died to bring enemies into his family. His kindness is meant to bring us to repentance. He already paid the penalty for our sin, so we don’t have to. When we by faith receive Jesus as our King, we are forgiven, cleansed, made whole and brought into the family.
Friends, like Mephibosheth, we could never be good enough on our own. We could never clean ourselves up enough to march into the king’s palace and take our own seat at the table.
You will never be smart enough, strong enough, or rich enough to deserve God’s love.
You can’t wear enough make-up, lose enough weight, or buy a big enough house to deserve a place in God’s kingdom.
You can’t read your Bible enough, go to church enough, or pray enough to deserve a spot in God’s family.
We’re all lame. We all need to be carried to the table. We need God to take what was dead and make us alive, to take what is unworthy and sinful and make us worthy and righteous.
Thank You, Father, for casting Your loving eyes upon me and bringing me into Your everlasting kingdom. I love You, Lord. You are worthy of all the praise. I’m honored to sit at Your table. The banner over me is love. You have filled me with joy and peace and purpose, and given me new life in Christ. It is in His Name that I pray. Amen.
[Abraham] did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead (since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah’s womb. No unbelief made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.
Romans 4:19-21 ESV
Don’t you just love that two-word phrase, “fully convinced”? I do. It made me wonder, “What am I fully convinced of? What am I really ‘certain-sure’ about?”
Am I fully convinced that Jesus died on a cross in Jerusalem 2000 years ago, was buried in an empty tomb, and rose from the dead three days later?
Am I fully convinced that the Bible is the inspired word of God Himself and that it has full authority over my life?
Am I fully convinced that God is the eternal, Almighty Creator of the universe and that He will one day judge the living and the dead for how they spent their time on earth?
Is my faith just the “blow out the candles on my birthday cake” wish of a fool, or is it based on the solid, trustworthy, unchanging wisdom of the Lord and His Word?
I hope you’ll take some time today to ponder these questions, and that no matter the size of your faith – whether it’s as small as a mustard seed or as big as an elephant – it will be rooted deep into the bedrock of the Lord who holds you fast.
Teach What is Good 
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