Praying the Book of Job – Job 23-24 – 2025 Day 73

Read through the Bible in 2 years: Job 23-24, Psalm 40

I had a friend comment recently that Job is hard to read. Amen, sister. Job is indeed very hard to read. Sometimes I just focus on one thought from Job and meditate on it. I also like to use the words in Job as a springboard for prayer. Let’s try a few verses of that today.

Behold, I go forward, but he is not there, and backward, but I do not perceive him; on the left hand when he is working, I do not behold him; he turns to the right hand, but I do not see him. But he knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold.

Job 23:8-10 ESV

Heavenly Father, Sometimes it seems like You’re not there. Sometimes I can’t feel You or see You and it feels like You’ve abandoned me. Help me to remember the truth: You will never leave me or forsake me. You have made me Your sheep and I am Yours. It is me – not You – who is prone to wander, prone to leave the God I love. Thank You that You always know the way that I take, that I cannot escape from Your presence, that I cannot hide from You no matter where I go. And thank You for Jesus, my good shepherd who searches for me and joyfully brings me back into Your fold.

My foot has held fast to his steps; I have kept his way and have not turned aside. I have not departed from the commandment of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my portion of food.

Job 23:11-12 ESV

Heavenly Father, please help my feet to remain on the straight and narrow path, to hold fast to You and Your ways. Let me not turn aside. May I ponder the path of my feet and not turn to the left or the right in what I say or think or do. Keep me from sins of omission as well as commission. Help me to actively do good, rather than just not doing bad. I want to treasure Your words more than food, even more than rich, sweet, tasty food. Your love is indeed better than any treasure here on earth.

But he is unchangeable, and who can turn him back? What he desires, that he does. For he will complete what he appoints for me, and many such things are in his mind.

Job 23:13-14 ESV

Lord, You are unchangeable. No one can turn You away. You do whatever You desire. You will be faithful to complete whatever You have begun. And I’m so thankful for that because Your ways are always best. There is so often a way that seems right to me, but it’s end is simply the way to death. Help me to trust You. Help me to believe that Your way is always best.

In the almighty, all-good Name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

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Far Too Wonderful (Psalm 139) – by Shane & Shane

Good Things and Bad People – Job 22 – 2025 Day 72

Read through the Bible in 2 years: Job 22; Psalm 41

Have you ever struggled with why “bad things happen to good people”? I believe the simple answer to that question is, “Truly there are no good people. We’re all downright bad. None of us deserve anything that the Lord gives to us out of His grace.” But, today when reading Job 22, I found myself thinking about a slightly different question, “Why do good things happen to bad people?”

They said to God,
“Depart from us,” and
“What can the Almighty do to us?”

Yet He filled their houses with good things…

Job 22:17-18a ESV

Why does God allow the sun to shine and the rain to fall on both the evil and the good, like we read in Matthew 5:45? Why is the LORD good to all, and why does He have mercy on all that He has made? (Psalm 145:9) Why do the wicked prosper like we considered in yesterday’s reading of Job 21?

I think one reason is that when God saves and blesses bad people (like each and every one of us), so that we can display His immeasurable riches of His grace and kindness.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.

Ephesians 1:3-6 ESV

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

Ephesians 2:1-7 ESV

Like Job, and David, and Paul, the Lord inclined Himself to me and heard my cry and drew me out of the pit of destruction that I had dug for myself. He set my feet upon the rock of His salvation. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of PRAISE to our God, that many will see and fear and put their trust in God. (Psalm 40:1-3)

Heavenly Father,

I am indeed so poor and needy, yet You take thought of me. You have indeed multiplied Your wondrous deeds and thoughts towards me. I will proclaim and tell of them, though they are more than can be told. You are my help and my deliverer. Do not delay, for You are my God.

I delight to do Your will for You are my God. Your law is within my heart. Let me not restrain my lips. Help me to tell of all the glad news of deliverance that I have experienced. Let me not hide Your saving grace within my heart.

Fill me with Your Spirit. Delight me with Your presence. Make me Your witness, sharing boldly and openly of Your faithfulness and salvation.

Truly, You are good to both the evil and the good for You are a good and gracious King. May I praise You just as loudly for the thorns in my flesh which You have given me to keep me humble as I praise You for Your mighty works of deliverance. They are both gifts granted out of Your abundant, overflowing grace!

Make me a pipeline of Your kindness and grace toward sinners like me.

In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

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Thank You, Jesus, for the Blood – Charity Gayle

The Steadfast Love of the Lord – Job 16-17 – 2025 Day 68

Read through the Bible in 2 years: Job 16-17; Psalm 36

After Job’s friend, Eliphaz, shares his human wisdom with his grieving friend (Job 15), it comes Job’s turn to reply. Job’s first words to his friends are, “I have heard many such things; miserable comforters are you all.”

Ain’t that the truth? Miserable counselors they have been. When you’ve lost all ten of your children, all of your possessions, and even your health, do you really want to hear words like, “Why does your heart carry you away, and why do your eyes flash, that you turn your spirit against God and bring such words out of your mouth?” (Job 15:12)

Remember, friends, there is a time to speak and a time to be silent. I pray that we learn to speak those words that fit the occasion, to ask the Holy Spirit, our great counselor, to guide us in what to say to a grieving friend.

So, how amazing it was to then read Psalm 36 right on the heels of the words of Job’s heartache.

“Your steadfast love, O LORD, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds.

Your righteousness is like the mountains of God; your judgments are like the great deep; man and beast you save, O LORD.

How precious is your steadfast love, O God!

They feast on the abundance of your house, and you give them drink from the river of your delights.

For with you is the fountain of life; in your light do we see light.

Oh, continue your steadfast love to those who know you, and your righteousness to the upright of heart!”

– Psalm 36:5-10 ESV

Job’s friends truly were miserable comforters, but God’s faithful, steadfast love is a comfort to His children. Jesus truly is our very good shepherd who comforts us in all our affliction. (2 Corinthians 1:3-7)

Let’s pray,

Heavenly Father,

Please help us to be patient with our friends when they say stupid things because they just don’t know what to say. I’m sure it hurts them to see us hurting. Help us to have grace toward them when they are terrible comforters and say things that make our pain even worse.

I pray that we will trust You all the more as we see what miserable counselors even our dearest friends are, for Your Holy Spirit is our perfect comforter. Apply the wisdom of Your Word like a balm to our hurting souls. Speak to us through Your Words, healing our brokenness for Your glory, comforting us so that we can comfort others.

Lord, I want to thank You in all circumstances and trust that You have purpose in my pain. As I walk through dark valleys, will you please grow my faith muscles? Help me to see Your light glowing at the end of the tunnel, guiding me with your merciful staff and fending away my enemies with Your righteous, rugged rod.

I pray that You will someday use my pain to comfort others who find themselves in pain. Teach me how to speak fit words for hurting hearts. Give me wisdom as to when to speak and when to be silent, when to exhort and when to encourage. I want to be an instrument of Your peace, to be my brother’s keeper, to love my neighbor as myself, and to comfort others with the comfort that I have received from You.

In the Name of our Perfect Comforter, Jesus Christ, we pray, Amen.

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Your Love Oh Lord, Psalm 36 – Third Day

Better than I Deserve – Thoughts from Job 11 – 2025 Day 64

Read Through the Bible in 2 Years: Job 11; Psalm 32

Before going any further in our study in the book of Job, I want you to know that I’m actually finding it really weird to invest time reading through Job verse by verse and sharing my thoughts with you, because many of the ideas contained in this book simply aren’t good theology. No one should base their ideas about God and man on the grief-stricken meditations of Job, like “Why did you bring me out from the womb? Would that I had died before any eye had seen me and were as though I had not been, carried from the womb to the grave.” (Job 10:18-19) But on the other hand, it’s actually really cool to mine for truth in this book. Like you can find truth in secular books and movies, you can find truth in the words of Job and his friends, though I still caution you from using them as the foundation for your theological beliefs.

With that out of the way, let me ask you a question – Have you ever greeted someone with the very standard question, “How are you today?” and received the unexpected reply, “Better than I deserve”? There’s TRUTH in those words. All of us are better than we deserve. Like Romans 6:23a says, “The wages of sin is death.”

So, today, let’s ponder these words spoken to Job by his friend, Zophar,

Know then that God exacts of you
less than your guilt deserves.

Job 11:6

Dear friends, I don’t know about you, but I know that I have broken God’s law more times than I can count. I have used His name in vain. I have blasphemed the Almighty Creator of the Universe. I have mocked and criticized His Son and His children. I have hated and dishonored God and His creation.

God would be totally just to spit in my face, call me unspeakable names, slap me across both my cheeks, and apply two-dozen lashings across my back. I deserve to be hung and shot and burned. I deserve it. God has exacted from me much less than my guilt deserves.

Truly, God has had mercy on me, a sinner. God pours out His grace on me and calls me His child. God sent His Own Son, Jesus Christ, to pay the price for my sins – making a way for me to not only NOT be punished, but to receive EVERLASTING LIFE!

I’m not worthy. I’m not worthy. But He has made me worthy. That is indeed Amazing GRACE.

Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father,

Oh the Grace of our Lord God! The matchless, unfathomable GRACE of God! Not only have You not given us what we deserve, but You have given us that which we do not deserve – boundless, eternal abundant life, the riches of glory with You. Thank You!

Lord, please help us to understand how great is Your goodness, that we will shout from the mountaintops, “Christ the Lord is Risen! Hallelujah! Come to Him! Come to Him!” We have found a goldmine with limitless gold. We have found the living water that never ceases. We have found the bread that is indeed new every morning. May Your love compel us to share this good news with others. Let us not keep these wonders to ourselves. Your love is boundless – it grows as it is shared. Let us share it! Give us ears to hear and eyes to see and mouths to proclaim Your mercy and grace and power and might and goodness!

In the Name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

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“My Worth is Not in What I Own” – Fernando Ortega, Keith Getty, Kristyn Getty

Words Unfitly Spoken – Thoughts from Job and his friends – 2025 Day 62 (Job 8)

Read through the Bible in 2 years: Job 8; Psalm 30

Pondering Job 8 and the very true words of Job’s friend Bildad – that God is just, that He will restore Job’s fortunes and bless his life, and that the godless will surely not prosper – reminded of Proverbs 25:11, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.”

Were Bildad’s words fitly spoken? I think not. Why not? Because, like my dear friend Beth has often reminded me, “The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing.” Eloquent speeches about God’s justice and judgment are inappropriate to give to a friend who has just lost all of their children and possessions.

It reminds me of times when I’ve gone shoe shopping and have found the perfect shoes at the perfect price, only to discover that they don’t fit. No matter how beautiful those shoes are, no matter what a good deal they are, if they’re too big or too small, you shouldn’t waste your money on them.

If our words are to be fitly spoken, we must be careful not only what we say, but how and when. If our words are to be fitly spoken, they must be fit to the person, place, and time.

If our words are to be fitly spoken,
we must be careful not only what we say, but how and when.

Please join me in prayer.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for the joy of Your presence. You have indeed made me glad as I have trusted in You. You are always good. Make me more like You. Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. Let me look upon Your glory and see Your face.

Give me wisdom and discernment in what to say as well as what not to. Help me see what words fit and what words don’t. Give me insight into what the circumstances demand. May my words be as heartfelt as they are true. Help me to speak the truth from a heart filled with humility and love.

In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen

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“I Need Thee Every Hour”
Hymns of Grace

Sitting with a Grieving Friend – Thoughts from the Life of Job – 2025 Day 61 (Job 6-7)

Read through the Bible in 2 years: Job 6-7; Psalm 29

The two lowest months of my life were March of 1994 and October of 1998. Yet these were also the two seasons when Jesus began to radically transform my faith.

March 1994 was when I finally broke up with my fiancé, Eric, and moved to St. Louis. I was utterly alone in a way I’d never experienced before, but shortly thereafter I met Jesus and began a whole new life with Him always by my side.

October 1998 was when I found out that my stillborn baby’s body had been lost by the hospital after his autopsy. Why had God allowed this to happen? Losing my baby was painful enough …. Why this? I wrestled and struggled and mourned and questioned and grieved for months. What had I done wrong? Was God punishing me?

I didn’t want to go to church. I didn’t want to have playdates with my friends and their children. I just wanted to curl up in bed and stay there.

No one could understand the depth of my pain.

  • “He wasn’t even full-term.”
  • “You’ll have another.”
  • “I had a miscarriage, too, once. You’ll get over it. Give it some time.”
  • “It was just a body.”

Their words dug into my heart like so many little piercing arrows.

I distanced myself from my friends, and they distanced themselves from me, too. I couldn’t relate to them, and they couldn’t relate to me, either. They didn’t want to just sit and grieve with me day after day. A few days of crying was enough, wasn’t it? Why was this still going on weeks and even months later? This was when the book of Job really entered my life for the first time. (Actually, I had first encountered the book of Job in college when I was still an atheist, and I was assigned to read it as a “great work of ancient literature” in one of my liberal arts classes.) But 1998 is when Job’s words pierced my heart.

Out of all the pain and confusion, God again did something new in my heart. He grew my faith in new and profound ways. He taught me to simply trust Him when I don’t understand what’s He’s doing. He taught me that He is good even when people aren’t. He taught me that I can always turn to Him in my pain and suffering.

This week, reading Job again, really taking time to sit and study and journal and think, Job’s words are aimed at my heart again in a new way. Have I withheld kindness from a friend? Have I made light of a friend’s suffering? Can I look my friend in the eye and hold her hand in her grief?

Sisters, let’s not make the same mistakes as Job’s friends. Let’s run toward our friends in their pain, being willing to mourn with those who mourn, rather than running away out of fear and discomfort.

Let’s pray together.

Heavenly Father,

Your grace is sufficient for me for Your power is made perfect in my weakness. Thank You for giving us the book of Job that we could better understand the very real grief of men and the equally very real goodness of God. Help us to be good friends, to run towards those who are hurting instead of running away. Help us to be willing to sit and listen, instead of always trying to speak and fix. Make us like Jesus who wept with the grieving. Make us vessels of Your love and peace and kindness and comfort.

In the Name of Jesus we pray, Amen.

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“Because He Lives”
Keith & Kristyn Getty, Bill Gaither, Buddy Green

When the Encourager Needs Encouragement – Thoughts from the Life of Job – 2025 Day 60 (Job 4-5)

Read Through the Bible in 2 Years: Job 4-5; Psalm 48

I’ve often found myself in the position of encourager. People come to me when they need prayer or encouragement or words of wisdom. This is certainly a blessing from God, and I’m honored to serve my sisters in this way. But … what about when it’s me who needs the prayer and encouragement and words of wisdom? Will I be able to take my own advice or will I crumble under the weight? Will my friends take the opportunity to encourage me, or will they point out my shortcomings in my sorrow?

After sitting silently with Job for seven days and nights (Job 2:13) Job’s friend, Eliphaz, finally speaks. His friend’s first words aren’t, “I’m so sorry, Job. I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through. I’m with you, and I’ll stay with you through thick and thin. I’m glad to have you as a friend.” No, Job’s friends’ first words are criticism.

Tears. 😢😢😢

I remember two years ago when I originally penned this message. Later that same afternoon, one of the moms of the teenage students I teach asked me if she could take my picture. She went on to explain how much her daughter loves me, and that she’s always telling her grandma about “Mrs. Kim.” Wow! That put wind in my sails like nothing else! Those few words encouraged me to keep my hands to the plow!

Can I just say how much a few simple words of thanksgiving and encouragement can strengthen a heavy heart?

Send a text. Send flowers. Mail a handwritten note. Make a phone call.

Click the “like button.” Leave a simple comment saying, “Thanks for taking the time to write this. Your words really ministered to me.”

Are we more like the one leper who returned to give Jesus thanks for healing him or the nine who received healing and kept right on their merry way, healed but unappreciative? (Luke 17:11-19)

How does God want you to encourage those who have encouraged you? We all grow weary from time to time.

Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for Your faithful, never-ending grace and encouragement. You never grow tired. You never feel hopeless. The light at the end of the tunnel is never hidden from you.

Today I pray for my sisters who are facing tests and trials, who have lost a parent, a child, a husband, a job. I pray for the one who is losing hope today, who feels like the sun will never shine again, who feels like they can’t make it one more step.

Will you please send someone to them to encourage them? Will You please use me to speak life to those who need it? Will You please pour Your love lavishly into my heart, so I have love to give to the next one? Make me Your vessel. Make Your Word a balm to their heavy soul as well as mine.

Father, I am so weak, and I grow so weary. Please, Father, encourage me. Pour into me. Lift up my hands and my head. Let me not lose heart. Please send friends around me to lift me up, that I will not faint.

In the Healing Name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

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“See How He Loves Us”
Sovereign Grace Music

Your Life is Not Your Own. Thoughts from the Life of Joseph – 2025 Day 57 (Genesis 49-50)

Read Through the Bible in 2 years: Psalm 25, Genesis 49-50

His brothers also came and fell down before him and said, “Behold, we are your servants.”

But Joseph said to them, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones.”

Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.

Genesis 50:18-21 ESV

Joseph understood that his life was not his own. He recognized that his life was too be lived in service to his fellow man and his God. Whether refusing the advanced of his boss’s wife, interpreting dreams, obeying his father, or providing for the needs of the Egyptians or the brothers who has sold him into slavery, his life was lived as an offering back to God. Can we say the same?

Is your body “a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God”? (Romans 12:2 ESV)

Do you see your body as a temple of the Holy Spirit, whom you have received from God, such that “you are not your own,” … that you will live to “glorify God in your body”? (1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ESV)

If your answer is “no,” let me make two simple, but not simple, suggestions:

  1. You can’t live what you don’t believe. If you don’t believe God’s Word … if you don’t believe that Jesus is the perfect, sinless God-man, the spotless Lamb who died for your sins and was raised to life again … if you don’t believe that God is good and all-knowing and all-powerful over all things, then you won’t be able to trust God enough to surrender your life to Him. Start there. Start by simply reading His Word each day, while asking Him to help you in your unbelief.
  2. You can’t give what you don’t have. If you don’t belong to God, if you’re not filled with His Holy Spirit, then you simply don’t have the power to live for Him. Surrender your life now to God. Trust in the Lord Jesus Christ. Turn away from your sins and follow Him with an obedient spirit. Ask Him to change you from the inside out and fill you with His Spirit.

Please pray with me.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for Your mercy. Thank You for Your forgiveness. Thank You for coming after me while I was lost in my own sins. Thank You for giving us the book of Genesis, that we can know how the world began, but also that we can know the true stories of ordinary men and women like Abraham and Sarah and Joseph who possessed extraordinary faith.

Help us to trust You more, to believe that nothing is too hard for You, that You have good plans for us and that You have a purpose for our lives. Make us pure and holy vessels of Your Spirit. Make us living offerings for Your glory. We love You. We trust You. Help us to love You more and trust You more, for You are worthy.

In the name of Jesus Christ who is our Savior and our Lord we pray. Amen.

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“I am Not my Own”
Keith + Kristen Getty, Skye Peterson

When Will it be Enough? – 2025 Day 56 (Genesis 47-48)

Read Through the Bible in 2 years: Psalm 24, Genesis 47-48

Have you ever found yourself running in this rat’s race of life, pursuing some pie in the sky goal, but unable to reach it no matter how hard you try? Or maybe you have succeeded in reaching the goals you’ve set for yourself – you’ve gotten accepted into that college, graduated as valedictorian, married the guy, had the babies, won the praises of man – and yet you still find your life empty?

Like the song “Never Enough” from the 2017 blockbuster hit, “The Greatest Showman,” no matter what the world has to offer you, it’s never enough.

All the shine of a thousand spotlights
All the stars we steal from the night sky
Will never be enough
Never be enough


Towers of gold are still too little
These hands could hold the world but it’ll
Never be enough
Never be enough

Friends, let me assure you, whatever this world has to offer, it’s never enough. Never.

  • Eve thought, “If only I could eat the fruit of that tree…”
  • Lot’s wife thought, “If only I could go back home…”
  • Sarah thought, “If only I could have a son…”
  • Rebekah thought, “If only my son Jacob would receive his father’s blessing…”
  • Leah thought, “If only Jacob loved me…”
  • Rachel thought, “If only I had a son…”

In the final verse of Genesis 45, Jacob receives word that his favorite son, Joseph, whom he thought had been killed by wild animals, is still alive. Jacob says,

It is enough;
Joseph my son is still alive.
I will go and see him before I die.

Genesis 45:28

Then, when Jacob was finally reunited with this dearly loved son, he said, “Now let me die, since I have seen your face and know that you are still alive.” (Genesis 46:30) And then God graciously gives Jacob another 17 years of life after seeing his son – time enough to know not only Joseph but also Joseph’s two sons who were born during Joseph’s years in Egypt.

Now, at the end of his life, Jacob asks Joseph to bring near his two sons, Ephraim and Manasseh, saying, “I never expected to see your face; and behold, God has let me see your offspring also.” (Genesis 48:11)

And suddenly my mind started thinking, “Lord, when will it be enough for me? When I have that next thing, that next relationship, that next opportunity? When I finally quit doing that thing that I hate? When my husband finally does the next thing? When my child does that most important thing? When will it be enough?”

And then I was reminded of Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

“So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited.

Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

We learn of God’s grace as we are humbled. Surely these afflictions are for our good. It is good to recognize that nothing on earth will ever be enough. Treasures on earth – whether monetary or relational – will never satisfy. Our lives are better because of the thorns that the Lord has in His mercy given us.

Remember, faith grows
when it is stretched.

Let’s pray together.

Heavenly Father,

You alone are worthy. You are enough. You alone satisfy. In Your presence there is fullness of joy. At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Your face, Lord, is what I seek.

In this world, You have promised that I will have troubles, but Lord You have also promised that I can take heart before You have overcome the world.

If I have every trapping of this world – all the knowledge and wisdom, all the fame and power and praise of man, all the riches, all the relationships – it will never be enough. Let me not seek after these worldly things that can never satisfy.

Let me boast only in You – that I know You, that You are the Lord, my Lord, who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. This is what You delight in, so make these my delight, too.

You are a good shepherd and You are my shepherd. I have everything I need. You are enough.

Your grace is enough for me. You are more than enough for me.

In the Name of Jesus I pray. Amen.

Psalm 16:11; Psalm 27:8; John 16:33; Jeremiah 9:23-24; Psalm 23

Click here for more information about my Read Through the Bible in Two Years plan.

Enough – Elias Dummer
Your Grace is Sufficient – Shane and Shane

Overcoming Favoritism and Sibling Rivalry – 2025 Day 51 (Genesis 36-37)

Read through the Bible in 2 years: Psalm 19, Genesis 36-37

But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peacefully to him.

Genesis 37:4 ESV

Why are the brothers mad at Joseph because their dad loves him more? That seems so unfair. Isn’t it their father, Jacob’s fault rather than Joseph’s? … Isn’t that the way of man? And Joseph sure didn’t help matters by bragging about his dreams and being the family snitch.

Have you ever hated someone because you’re jealous of them? I have. In high school I always hated the “pretty girls” … though I see now that was rooted in my own insecurity and jealousy.

And what’s up with Jacob making it so obvious that Joseph was his favorite child? That is so heartbreaking…. But also so easy. A parent can naturally get along better with a certain child. Or a certain child may come into your life at a crucial time or in answer to your fervent prayers – like Joseph did – and ends up being preferred.

I wish I could tell you that my family has avoided the scars left by the childhood struggles of jealousy and favoritism, but that simply isn’t true. I have to confess that my children and I have wrestled long and hard through these issues. It’s not pretty, friends, and it has long-term consequences.

Our culture laughs about the issue of “sibling rivalry” as though it’s just a normal and natural part of childhood. It may be normal and natural in this fallen world we live in friends, but it’s certainly not good.

If you find yourself preferring one child over another, this, too, may be normal and natural, but it’s not good.

Let me encourage you to examine yourself first. Start with you. I believe that a big root cause of sibling rivalry is parental partiality. Do you have some children who are rebellious and other children who are compliant? Do you have one child who demands lots of extra time while your other children easily fade into the background? Watch yourself!

Let me share two ways that I tried hard to help fight favoritism and jealousy in my household.

“Day of the Week”

In our family, each child had one day to call their own. On their day, they got to be the one who picked a game at lunch. That child was the one who prayed over our meal, who picked the bedtime story, who got to ride in the front seat. Wherever there was a choice to be made that day, they got to pick it.

Over the years the day of the week varied a little depending on our family’s schedule, but usually our oldest child got Monday, our second child got Tuesday, our third child got Wednesday, I got Thursday (because this was a busy day for us so there were less choices to be made), and our fourth child got Friday. (Saturday was a family day and Daddy got Sunday.)

Weekly Date Nights

The other thing we did was weekly date nights. It was usually on a Friday night, but not always. The first Friday of the month was for our first child, second Friday was for our second child, third Friday for our third child, and the fourth Friday for our fourth child. My husband and I took turns taking out the kids, so every other month each child had a date with mom and the other month with dad. This intentionality and regularity helped each of our kids to stay connected with each of their parents.

What ideas do you have to fight Favoritism and Jealousy? I’d love to hear them. Leave a comment below.

Will you pray with me?

Heavenly Father,

Sibling rivalry has been around since there were siblings. The first murder was between two brothers and it was rooted in jealousy.

Please, Father, help us as parents to love each of our children fully and with all our hearts. Help us to recognize where we are falling short in this area and to confess and repent.

Lord, each of our children are unique and we naturally gravitate towards one or another.

You know our hearts. You know our motives. You know if they are right or if they are wrong. Feather, we confess our sin to You and ask Uou to forgive us and to create a right heart in us. We pray You would heal whatever scars our children have as a result of our own sin – our own feelings and actions rooted in partiality or favoritism.

We pray that You would heal any scars of bitterness or jealousy in our children. No matter their age. It is never too late. We thank you Lord for the blessing it is to have siblings and pray that You would use this unique bond to richly bless our children.

In the name of Jesus Christ who sticks closer than a brother, Amen

Click here for more information about my Read Through the Bible in Two Years plan.