Tag: love

Loving People When They Hurt You: Thoughts from the Life of Judah and his Dad – 2025 Day 54 (Genesis 42-44)

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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Psalm 22, Genesis 42-44

Genesis 42 kicks off with the famine having spread to the land of Canaan, thereby forcing Jacob to send his sons to Egypt to buy grain. Jacob sends ten of his remaining sons, but refuses to send Joseph’s younger brother, Benjamin, the only other son of Rachel, “for he feared that harm might happen to him.” (Genesis 42:4) Jacob is still playing favorites, like I wrote about here.

As though that’s not bad enough, even after Simeon (Jacob’s second son from his unloved wife, Leah) is left behind in Egypt, Jacob continues to insist that Benjamin cannot go to Egypt, saying, “My son shall not go down with you [Reuben, Jacob’s firstborn son], for his brother [Joseph] is dead, and he is the only one left.” (Genesis 42:38) In fact, Jacob still has eight other sons in addition to Reuben left at home, namely Levi, Judah, Dan, Naphtali, Gad, Asher, Issachar, and Zebulun.

How would you feel if you heard your father say such a thing about one of your brothers?

Wouldn’t you want to scream and cry and stomp your feet, “Hey, Dad, what about me? Don’t you love me? Aren’t I your son? What about me and my children? What if we starve here from this famine?”

When the famine becomes even more severe and all the Egyptian grain has been consumed, Jacob is finally willing to send his sons again to Egypt to buy food. (Keep in mind, Simeon had been left in Egypt as a captive all this time.)

Judah, Jacob’s fourth son who was also born to Leah, solemnly pledges to his father, “From my hand you shall require him [Benjamin]. If I do not bring him back to you and set him before you, then let me bear the blame forever.” (Genesis 43:9 ESV)

To which Jacob finally relents, “May God Almighty grant you mercy before the man, and may he send back your other brother and Benjamin. As for me, if I am bereaved of my children, I am bereaved.” (Genesis 43:14)

Now, put yourself in the shoes of Judah, or one of Leah’s other sons or worse yet one of the sons of Rachel’s servant Bilhah or Leah’s servant Zilpah. Imagine hearing your father refer to Simeon, your big brother as “your other brother” while Rachel’s son is referred to by name. Benjamin, Jacob’s last son. Benjamin, the only remaining son of Rachel, Jacob’s dearly loved wife who died during his birth. Benjamin, the “son of my right hand.”

Whether spoken intentionally or not, Jacob’s words communicated to his children that Benjamin is more valuable than they are. Read Judah’s own words to Joseph about his dad at the end of Genesis 44.

“As soon as he sees that the boy is not with us, he will die …
Now therefore, please let your servant remain instead of the boy as a servant to my lord, and let the boy go back with his brothers. For how can I go back to my father if the boy is not with me?
I fear to see the evil that would find my father.”

Genesis 44:31a, 33-34 ESV

In spite of the pain that his father has caused him, Judah still loves his dad. He may not be expecting a prodigal son’s welcome home — no father running to him with arms open wide. Rather, he is expecting to arrive home to a father who is looking behind him to see if his baby brother is there. And yet … Judah is still worried about the deep pain that his brother’s loss will cause his father.

Are you having a hard time loving someone who has hurt you again and again? Are you struggling to forgive someone who has repeatedly broken your heart?

Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father,

How I long to see you face to face, to sit at your feet and have every tear wiped away from my eyes! How I ache for the pain and sin and sorrow of this world to be over!

But, Father, in the meantime, help me to love as Your Son loved. Remind me how much You have forgiven me. Show me my sin.

Help me to forgive even those who forget me and reject me and spit in my face. I want to forgive others as You have forgiven me.

Lord, I can’t do this on my own. I need Your strength. Help me to see the log in my own eye, to accept responsibility for where my own sin has contributed to the pain that I find myself in.

I want to overcome evil with good, for You are good and I am Yours.

In the Good and Gracious name of Jesus I pray, Amen.

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Hymn of Heaven by Phil Wickham

The Miracle of Faithful, Forgiving Love – 2025 Day 49 (Genesis 33)

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Read Through the Bible in 2 years: Psalm 17; Genesis 33

But Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.

Genesis 33:4 ESV

Twenty years earlier Jacob had fled for his life after lying to his father and cheating his brother Esau out of his father’s final blessing. Jacob was terrified to go back and see Esau again. He expected Esau to kill him, his wives, and his children. At a minimum, we would expect Esau to at least give Jacob a severe tongue lashing, right?

Esau running to embrace Jacob is certainly not what anyone would expect. Forgiveness and reconciliation are rare commodities in human relationships, even between brothers.

Esau’s actions reminded me of the father in the parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15.

“How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”’ And he arose and came to his father.

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him.

And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.”

– Luke 15:17-24 ESV

I’m reading about Esau, but all I can think about is God’s overwhelming, never-ending, faithful love. He loved me while I was yet His enemy. Truly He loved me first. I am able to love Him ONLY because He first loved me!

I confess that I don’t really understand how all this works, but I do know that it all begins and ends with our loving Father. He pursues us. He lavishes His mercy on us, and His mercy draws us to repentance.

Esau’s ability to forgive his selfish, lying, deceiving brother, takes an act of God.

Has someone hurt you? Are you struggling to forgive them? You need God to act. And He CAN! He can do it. Dear sisters, God is able to do it through us! What is impossible for man is possible for God! God can give us the strength and humility to forgive others who have hurt us.

And, let’s not forget, He commands it of us. We must forgive others because we have been forgiven of SO MUCH!

Which reminds me of another parable that Jesus told. This time in Matthew 18.

“Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?”

Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made.

So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’

So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place.

Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’

And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

-Matthew 18:21-35 ESV

Let’s pray together.

Heavenly Father,

Please give us the strength and humility we need to forgive others. Help us to say what our Lord Jesus Christ taught us to say, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” Remind us of Christ’s own words as He was being crucified, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Help us to lovingly pursue others while they are sinners, like Jesus pursued us. Help us to overcome evil with good rather than repaying wrong with wrong. Please, Father, make us more like Jesus who was willing to suffer, in order that we could be forgiven and redeemed.

Help us to love others like you have loved us.

By the power of the Holy Spirit and the lavish, overwhelming grace of Christ, we pray this, Amen.

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The Unloved Wife – 2025 Day 47 (Genesis 29-30)

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Psalm 15, Genesis 29-30

“When the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. And Leah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Reuben, for she said, ‘Because the LORD has looked upon my affliction; for now my husband will love me.’

She conceived again and bore a son, and said, ‘Because the LORD has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also.’ And she called his name Simeon.

Again she conceived and bore a son, and said, ‘Now this time my husband will be attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.’ Therefore his name was called Levi.

And she conceived again and bore a son, and said, ‘This time I will praise the LORD.’ Therefore she called his name Judah.

Then she ceased bearing.”

– Genesis 29:31-35

Leah viewed her first three sons as tools to get her husband to love her.

  • Son #1: Now my husband will love me.
  • Son #2: The Lord has heard that I am hated.
  • Son #3: Now my husband will be attached to me.

Yet, it’s Leah’s fourth son, Judah, the son whose name means praise, the son whose birth brought Leah to say, “THIS TIME I WILL PRAISE THE LORD,” whom God chose to father the line of Jesus Christ, God’s only Begotten Son and the Savior of the World,

Friends, think about this: it was Leah, the unloved wife, whom God chose to bear Judah.

I remember my own time of marital pains  and infertility. Reading this story about Leah is such an encouragement to me.

God has purpose both in our fertility and in our barrenness. May we bring Him glory in both!

Are you feeling unloved today? I’ve been there. But so has Jesus. He knows how it feels to be rejected by those who were supposed to love Him. And Jesus, the Great I Am, loves you. He is worth a thousand times more than the most perfect husband or a thousand imperfect sons.

Let me pray over you.

Heavenly Father,

You are close to the broken-hearted. You are the God who remains faithful when man is faithless. You love the unloved and the unloveable, the poor, the lonely, the rejected.

You are the good shepherd who pursues His lost sheep.

I pray that we would praise You when life is easy, and we would praise You when life is hard. No matter what, You are worthy of our praise!

We offer our hearts, minds, wombs, and lives to You. Father, fill them as You will in Your perfect timing and for Your perfect purposes. Help us to trust You with our hearts and our hurts.

In the name of Jesus our Savior and King we pray, Amen.

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The Gift of Being Created to be a Helper – 2025 Day 30 (Genesis 1-2)

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Proverbs 30; Genesis 1-2

I like to read Genesis one and two together because I see Genesis chapter two as an expansion of the account of the creation of man in chapter 1. There’s so much in these two chapters that I read both of them together, two days in a row.

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him.

So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.

Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

– Genesis 2:18-24 ESV

God saw that it was not good for Adam to be alone, so He wanted to give Adam a helper who was fit for him. Not just any helper would do. He didn’t just need the strength of an ox or the beauty of a peacock or the loyalty of a dog. No, Adam needed a suitable helper, designed especially for man, and so God gave him a woman.

Being a helper is a gift to both the man and the woman. The man needs the woman … And the woman needs the man. They both have been given very important jobs.

God always has such perfect timing. When I initially wrote this devotional in January of 2023, I was visiting my parents hundreds of miles away from my husband, and I thought about how much my husband misses me when I’m gone. Yes, he misses me cooking and cleaning for him. Yes, he misses me making his morning coffee. Whether he missed them or not, I knew he needed my help in the little reminders I give and the times I’m an extra set of hands in the projects he’s working on. But I was especially struck by the thought that what he misses most is my company, simply having someone to talk to and share life with.

It is good to be needed and missed.

It’s a blessing to be created to be a helper.

Now, in 2025, as I reflect again on Genesis 1-2, my husband and I just celebrated our 30th anniversary, our daughter just got engaged, and our youngest son is preparing to graduate from homeschooling through high school and go away to college this fall.

I’m again reminded how careful we most be to not allow our children to take our husband’s place. Children are made from the seed of their father, not from his rib … or yours.

Children are created to
leave their parents,
but husbands and wives are created to become one flesh until they are parted by death.

Sisters, don’t leave your husband in the dust while you’re attending to your babies. Those babies are going to grow up and move away, but your husband will be by your side for the rest of his life. He needs you, and you need to be needed. Make sure you keep your children and your husband in their rightful places in your hearts, minds, and lives.

I speak from personal experience. This is hard, but it can be done. Here are a few ideas I’ve learned (and am still learning) over my 30 years of marriage.

  • Schedule regular dates with your husband to keep those flames of friendship burning.
  • Look for something small that you can do to serve your husband every day – make him a cup of coffee or write him a little note or send him a text over lunch.
  • Express to your husband (and others) how grateful you are for him. Let them know how much they mean to you and how much you value them.
  • Keep a careful watch over your thought life. Complaining thoughts turn into complaining attitudes and complaining words. Nothing works more powerfully against your marriage than having a complaining spirit. When those thoughts (true though they might be) come into your mind, grab hold of them and replace them with the truths of hope and grace found at the foot of the cross.
  • Make praying for your husband a priority. Ask God to bless him and guide him. Check out this video to a wonderful prayer for your husband – from his head to his feet.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You so much for the gift that my husband is. Thank You for making me his helper. Thank You for making him such that he needed me. And thank You for making me fit for him.

Help me to recognize the blessing it is to be needed. I pray that I would make my husband a priority in my life. Help me to do him good and not harm all the days of his life. Help me to submit myself willingly and cheerfully to him, and to trust You, Lord, in the process.

Father, help me not to grow weary of doing good and to trust that in due season I will reap a harvest if I do not lose heart.

I pray that You would bless my husband with every spiritual blessing according to the riches of Your glory in Christ Jesus. I pray that You would take care of him physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Give him the strength and wisdom that he needs to lead our family and give him the humility that he needs to turn to You in his weakness.

I pray also for my married children and their spouses. Make the men servant leaders and the women responsive helpers. Give them a deep love for Your Word and Your church. Show them their need for a savior and grant them the humility they need to live daily in love with the sinner they married.

I pray also for my not-yet-married children and their someday-spouses. Help them to guard their hearts, for they are the wellspring of life. Protect them, body, mind, and spirit, for Your glory and their good. May these days and years be used to prepare them to be a humble leader or a humble helper, to be fit for one another and for Your kingdom.

In the good and gracious name of Jesus Christ , my Savior and my Lord, I pray.

Amen.

Click here for more information on reading through the Bible in Two Years.

Loving and Hating – 2025 Day 24 (1 John 2-3)

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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Proverbs 24; 1 John 2 and 3

“Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes.”

– 1 John 2:9-11 ESV

Love is an emotion as well as an action. Love wants for someone’s good while hate wants for someone’s harm. You might say that you love someone while you practice deceit and cunning. You might say that you love someone while turning a deaf ear to their cries for help or even leading them astray. People say all kinds of things in the name is love, but really that love is simply hate wrapped in shiny paper. True love desires for the other person’s health, wholeness, and holiness, even when it hurts. Even when it’s inconvenient. Even when it’s messy.

“Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world.”

– 1 John 2:15-16 ESV

At its very essence, love of the world boils down to love of self. The love of the world is the love of selfish desires: comfort, safety, and pleasure.

Truth be told, my love of the world rarely looks like God’s love of the world, that John 3:16 love, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” My love of the world usually looks a whole lot more like my love of me and my own good, not my neighbor’s good and not my Lord’s good. Father, forgive me.

When my life is full of loving me, there’s no room left to love my Heavenly Father or my neighbor. To truly love my Heavenly Father, I must put His glory and His commands over my own fleeting pleasures. To truly love my neighbor, I have to put his well-being over my own, and that takes Holy Spirit power! I can never do it in my own strength. I must abide faithfully in Him and allow His Word and His Spirit flow through me.

Won’t you pray with me?

Heavenly Father,

We want Your glory and majesty to fill the earth. Make us Your vessels. We want to walk in the light as You are in the light. We want to love our neighbor as ourselves. We want to love others as Christ loved us.

But, Father, we can’t do it on our own.

Please forgive us for how far and how often we have gone astray. We have loved the world and the things in the world, instead of loving You and loving our neighbor. We have loved ourselves and hated our brothers.

We repent of our sins. We turn to You, knowing that You are our only hope in life and death. Thank You for the forgiveness and grace available to us through the blood of Christ. Thank You for Your power and guidance available to us through the Holy Spirit.

We need You every hour. We cry out to You and ask for Your help and we know that You hear us.

Thank You! Thank you! Thank you! By the perfect righteousness of Christ we come to You.

Amen

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A New Commandment – 2025 Day 13 (John 13)

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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Proverbs 13, John 13

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.”

John 13:34 ESV

When Jesus knew that His hour had come to give up His life and return to his Father, He didn’t look to a bucket list of “Top 100 Things to Do Before You Die.” No, he washed His disciples’ feet. The most important thing to Him before His death was to leave an example of true love for His followers.

He gives them this “new commandment” – a very old commandment actually, but made even more difficult by the addition of “JUST AS I HAVE LOVED YOU.” It’s really, really hard to love your neighbor as yourself. (Mark 12:31) This takes supernatural power. But to love others sacrificially as Jesus did – washing your friends’ feet, your students’ feet, even your betrayer’s feet – and even to lay down your own life for someone else, this is impossible apart from being born again, having a new will and new power working in you. (Philippians 2:13)

Will you please pray with me for the Lord to give you this strength?

Heavenly Father, I confess to you how hard it is for me to love others as myself, how totally impossible it is for me to love them as you have loved me. Help me to remember that what is impossible for man is possible for God. Nothing is impossible for You. I need You to give me both the strength and the desire!

Help me to remember that You loved me while I was a sinner, your enemy. You ran after me while I was running away from You. Help me to feel – and express – that kind of love for others, even when I don’t feel like it. Help me to pursue others like You pursued me.

Help me to consider others more highly than myself. Help me to serve my family and my friends, people who love me. Help me to serve my children and my students, people who are under my authority. Help me to serve the stranger and alien and even my enemy, remembering that You loved me when I was a stranger and alien and even Your enemy.

I need Your help. Please. In the strong and kind name of Jesus my Savior and Lord, I pray, Amen.

Click here for more information on reading through the Bible in Two Years.