Read through the Bible in 2 years: Job 8; Psalm 30
Pondering Job 8 and the very true words of Job’s friend Bildad – that God is just, that He will restore Job’s fortunes and bless his life, and that the godless will surely not prosper – reminded of Proverbs 25:11, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.”
Were Bildad’s words fitly spoken? I think not. Why not? Because, like my dear friend Beth has often reminded me, “The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing.” Eloquent speeches about God’s justice and judgment are inappropriate to give to a friend who has just lost all of their children and possessions.
It reminds me of times when I’ve gone shoe shopping and have found the perfect shoes at the perfect price, only to discover that they don’t fit. No matter how beautiful those shoes are, no matter what a good deal they are, if they’re too big or too small, you shouldn’t waste your money on them.
If our words are to be fitly spoken, we must be careful not only what we say, but how and when. If our words are to be fitly spoken, they must be fit to the person, place, and time.
If our words are to be fitly spoken, we must be careful not only what we say, but how and when.
Please join me in prayer.
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for the joy of Your presence. You have indeed made me glad as I have trusted in You. You are always good. Make me more like You.Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. Let me look upon Your glory and see Your face.
Give me wisdom and discernment in what to say as well as what not to. Help me see what words fit and what words don’t. Give me insight into what the circumstances demand. May my words be as heartfelt as they are true. Help me to speak the truth from a heart filled with humility and love.
In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen
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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Job 6-7; Psalm 29
The two lowest months of my life were March of 1994 and October of 1998. Yet these were also the two seasons when Jesus began to radically transform my faith.
March 1994 was when I finally broke up with my fiancé, Eric, and moved to St. Louis. I was utterly alone in a way I’d never experienced before, but shortly thereafter I met Jesus and began a whole new life with Him always by my side.
October 1998 was when I found out that my stillborn baby’s body had been lost by the hospital after his autopsy. Why had God allowed this to happen? Losing my baby was painful enough …. Why this? I wrestled and struggled and mourned and questioned and grieved for months. What had I done wrong? Was God punishing me?
I didn’t want to go to church. I didn’t want to have playdates with my friends and their children. I just wanted to curl up in bed and stay there.
No one could understand the depth of my pain.
“He wasn’t even full-term.”
“You’ll have another.”
“I had a miscarriage, too, once. You’ll get over it. Give it some time.”
“It was just a body.”
Their words dug into my heart like so many little piercing arrows.
I distanced myself from my friends, and they distanced themselves from me, too. I couldn’t relate to them, and they couldn’t relate to me, either. They didn’t want to just sit and grieve with me day after day. A few days of crying was enough, wasn’t it? Why was this still going on weeks and even months later? This was when the book of Job really entered my life for the first time. (Actually, I had first encountered the book of Job in college when I was still an atheist, and I was assigned to read it as a “great work of ancient literature” in one of my liberal arts classes.) But 1998 is when Job’s words pierced my heart.
Out of all the pain and confusion, God again did something new in my heart. He grew my faith in new and profound ways. He taught me to simply trust Him when I don’t understand what’s He’s doing. He taught me that He is good even when people aren’t. He taught me that I can always turn to Him in my pain and suffering.
This week, reading Job again, really taking time to sit and study and journal and think, Job’s words are aimed at my heart again in a new way. Have I withheld kindness from a friend? Have I made light of a friend’s suffering? Can I look my friend in the eye and hold her hand in her grief?
Sisters, let’s not make the same mistakes as Job’s friends. Let’s run toward our friends in their pain, being willing to mourn with those who mourn, rather than running away out of fear and discomfort.
Let’s pray together.
Heavenly Father,
Your grace is sufficient for me for Your power is made perfect in my weakness. Thank You for giving us the book of Job that we could better understand the very real grief of men and the equally very real goodness of God. Help us to be good friends, to run towards those who are hurting instead of running away. Help us to be willing to sit and listen, instead of always trying to speak and fix. Make us like Jesus who wept with the grieving. Make us vessels of Your love and peace and kindness and comfort.
In the Name of Jesus we pray, Amen.
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“Because He Lives” Keith & Kristyn Getty, Bill Gaither, Buddy Green
Read Through the Bible in 2 Years: Job 4-5; Psalm 48
I’ve often found myself in the position of encourager. People come to me when they need prayer or encouragement or words of wisdom. This is certainly a blessing from God, and I’m honored to serve my sisters in this way. But … what about when it’s me who needs the prayer and encouragement and words of wisdom? Will I be able to take my own advice or will I crumble under the weight? Will my friends take the opportunity to encourage me, or will they point out my shortcomings in my sorrow?
After sitting silently with Job for seven days and nights (Job 2:13) Job’s friend, Eliphaz, finally speaks. His friend’s first words aren’t, “I’m so sorry, Job. I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through. I’m with you, and I’ll stay with you through thick and thin. I’m glad to have you as a friend.” No, Job’s friends’ first words are criticism.
“If one ventures a word with you, will you be impatient? Yet who can keep from speaking? Behold, you have instructed many, and you have strengthened the weak hands. Your words have upheld him who was stumbling, and you have made firm the feeble knees. But now it has come to you, and you are impatient; it touches you, and you are dismayed.”
– Job 4:3-5
Tears. 😢😢😢
I remember two years ago when I originally penned this message. Later that same afternoon, one of the moms of the teenage students I teach asked me if she could take my picture. She went on to explain how much her daughter loves me, and that she’s always telling her grandma about “Mrs. Kim.” Wow! That put wind in my sails like nothing else! Those few words encouraged me to keep my hands to the plow!
Can I just say how much a few simple words of thanksgiving and encouragement can strengthen a heavy heart?
Send a text. Send flowers. Mail a handwritten note. Make a phone call.
Click the “like button.” Leave a simple comment saying, “Thanks for taking the time to write this. Your words really ministered to me.”
Are we more like the one leper who returned to give Jesus thanks for healing him or the nine who received healing and kept right on their merry way, healed but unappreciative? (Luke 17:11-19)
How does God want you to encourage those who have encouraged you? We all grow weary from time to time.
Let’s pray.
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for Your faithful, never-ending grace and encouragement. You never grow tired. You never feel hopeless. The light at the end of the tunnel is never hidden from you.
TodayI pray for my sisters who are facing tests and trials, who have lost a parent, a child, a husband, a job. I pray for the one who is losing hope today, who feels like the sun will never shine again, who feels like they can’t make it one more step.
Will you please send someone to them to encourage them? Will You please use me to speak life to those who need it? Will You please pour Your love lavishly into my heart, so I have love to give to the next one? Make me Your vessel. Make Your Word a balm to their heavy soul as well as mine.
Father, I am so weak, and I grow so weary. Please, Father, encourage me. Pour into me. Lift up my hands and my head. Let me not lose heart. Please send friends around me to lift me up, that I will not faint.
In the Healing Name of Jesus I pray, Amen.
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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Job 3; Psalm 27
When I was a new Christian learning how to pray, I noticed that people would often pray for “a hedge of protection” around someone. I had never heard that phrase before, but I started using it myself, asking God to put a hedge of protection around my children, my husband, my house.
Yesterday we looked at Job 1:9-11, “Then Satan answered the LORD and said, “Does Job fear God for no reason? Have you not put a hedge around him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. But stretch out your hand and touch all that he has, and he will curse you to your face.””
But what about the previous verse, Job 1:8?
“And the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job…”
Job 1:8a
I simply love this verse. Job was a blameless, upright man who feared God and turned away from evil, and yet the Lord offered him up to the evil one saying, “Have you considered my servant Job?”
The Lord removed that hedge of protection, allowing – in fact, inviting – the enemy’s attacks on His righteous servant, Job, and Satan stripped everything away from him – his possessions, his children, his health, even his wife’s encouragement, yet “in all this Job did not sin with his lips.” (Job 2:10) Lord, may the same be true of me. But my heart broke as I dove into Job 3, reading about Job cursing the day he was born.
Though I’ve enjoyed an easy life in comparison to Job’s, I’ve had my share of trials. Sometimes I have wished that heaven would hurry up and get here because this life is just too hard. And yet, I can say with full assurance that all of God’s ways have been right and good. He has grown my faith in Him during those times of pain. He has indeed sheltered me under His wings. He has taught me the wisdom of Psalm 27:4.
“One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple.”
Psalm 27:4 ESV
So, today, whether you are feeling the glorious hedge of God’s protection (Job 1:10) or the painful hedge of thorny trials (Job 3:23), I pray that you will seek and serve the Lord no matter what.
Will you pray with me?
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for the shield of faith and the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God. Your grace is sufficient for me. Your strength is made perfect when I am weak. Whether I can feel Your presence or You feel a million miles away, help me to trust that You are always with me. Whether I’m on the top of the mountain of victory or in the bottom of the darkest valley, help me to see Your rod and staff guiding me.Let me not trust in any man-made rescue plan, but place my trust fully in You and You alone, for You are perfectly trustworthy.
The blood of Jesus is my faithful hedge of protection. It is in His Almighty name that I pray, Amen.
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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Job 1-2; Psalm 26
Then Satan answered the LORD and said, “Does Job fear God for no reason? Have you not put a hedge around him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. But stretch out your hand and touch all that he has, and he will curse you to your face.”
And the LORD said to Satan, “Behold, all that he has is in your hand. Only against him do not stretch out your hand.”
-Job 1:9-12 ESV
Like I wrote recently, "We learn of God’s grace as we are humbled. Surely these afflictions are for our good. It is good to recognize that nothing on earth will ever be enough. Treasures on earth – whether monetary or relational – will never satisfy. Our lives are better because of the thorns that the Lord has in His mercy given us. Our faith grows as it is stretched."
No one is a better example of this than Job!
In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
1 Peter 1:6-7 ESV
Friends, it’s a blessing to have your faith tested. When your faith is tested, it GROWS, and it shows you and everyone around you that it’s REAL!
Let’s pray,
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for the gifts that You have given us – our health, our children, our home, our jobs, all of our possessions. They are gifts.
Draw our hearts to You, Lord. Forgive us for turning to these gifts instead of turning to You.
May we say with Job, “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed by the name of the Lord.” None of us want to go through the sorrow of losing our children, our possessions, or our own health. But, Father, none of those things can ever truly satisfy.
You are our God, our refuge, our hope, our joy, our strength. Our faith is in You alone. Blessed be the Name of the Lord.
In the Name of Your Son, Jesus Christ, we pray, Amen.
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“Here Is Love, Vast as the Ocean (Everlasting Praise)” Live from Sing! – The Gettys, Sandra McCracken
Read Through the Bible in 2 years: Psalm 25, Genesis 49-50
His brothers also came and fell down before him and said, “Behold, we are your servants.”
But Joseph said to them, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones.”
Joseph understood that his life was not his own. He recognized that his life was too be lived in service to his fellow man and his God. Whether refusing the advanced of his boss’s wife, interpreting dreams, obeying his father, or providing for the needs of the Egyptians or the brothers who has sold him into slavery, his life was lived as an offering back to God. Can we say the same?
Is your body “a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God”? (Romans 12:2 ESV)
Do you see your body as a temple of the Holy Spirit, whom you have received from God, such that “you are not your own,” … that you will live to “glorify God in your body”? (1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ESV)
If your answer is “no,” let me make two simple, but not simple, suggestions:
You can’t live what you don’t believe. If you don’t believe God’s Word … if you don’t believe that Jesus is the perfect, sinless God-man, the spotless Lamb who died for your sins and was raised to life again … if you don’t believe that God is good and all-knowing and all-powerful over all things, then you won’t be able to trust God enough to surrender your life to Him. Start there. Start by simply reading His Word each day, while asking Him to help you in your unbelief.
You can’t give what you don’t have. If you don’t belong to God, if you’re not filled with His Holy Spirit, then you simply don’t have the power to live for Him. Surrender your life now to God. Trust in the Lord Jesus Christ. Turn away from your sins and follow Him with an obedient spirit. Ask Him to change you from the inside out and fill you with His Spirit.
Please pray with me.
Heavenly Father,
Thank You for Your mercy. Thank You for Your forgiveness. Thank You for coming after me while I was lost in my own sins. Thank You for giving us the book of Genesis, that we can know how the world began, but also that we can know the true stories of ordinary men and women like Abraham and Sarah and Joseph who possessed extraordinary faith.
Help us to trust You more, to believe that nothing is too hard for You, that You have good plans for us and that You have a purpose for our lives. Make us pure and holy vessels of Your Spirit. Make us living offerings for Your glory. We love You. We trust You. Help us to love You more and trust You more, for You are worthy.
In the name of Jesus Christ who is our Savior and our Lord we pray. Amen.
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“I am Not my Own” Keith + Kristen Getty, Skye Peterson
Read through the Bible in 2 years: Psalm 23, Genesis 45-46
So Joseph said to his brothers, “Come near to me, please.” And they came near.
And he said, “I am your brother, Joseph, whom you sold into Egypt. And now do not be distressed or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are yet five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvest. And God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant on earth, and to keep alive for you many survivors. So it was not you who sent me here, but God. He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house and ruler over all the land of Egypt.”
Genesis 45:4-8 ESV
I have a quick, simple question for y’all. Have you ever been sold into slavery by your brothers? No? Me neither.
Have you ever been hurt by anyone in your life? Yes? Me, too.
When someone hurts you, it can be hard (impossible?) to forgive them. Sometimes it feels like you simply can’t “let them off the hook” by forgiving them. We take on the role of punisher, paying them back for what they’ve done to us.
But let’s think carefully about Joseph’s words here. What if we saw God’s hand at work even in our pain? How would our desire to punish someone who hurt us change if we truly believed that God was working even this pain to bring good? Wouldn’t that make forgiveness a whole lot easier?
The truth is that God is always at work, accomplishing the best ends through the best means for the most people. Sometimes people get hurt during that … And sometimes those people include YOU and ME and OUR loved ones.
Will you pray with me?
Heavenly Father,
I trust You. I trust Your heart. I trust Your mercy and kindness and grace and power. You have proven Yourself to be good and faithful – in Your Word and in my life. But, Father, sometimes things look really bad to me. In fact, sometimes things really are bad. It’s wrong to sell your brother into slavery. That is wrong. Yet, Lord, you worked through that unthinkable tragedy to bring great good for a great number of people with fruit still being born even today.
I pray that I would trust You with all my heart, soul, and mind. Help me to remember Your steadfast faithfulness to Joseph, and me, now and forever.
In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen
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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Psalm 22, Genesis 42-44
Genesis 42 kicks off with the famine having spread to the land of Canaan, thereby forcing Jacob to send his sons to Egypt to buy grain. Jacob sends ten of his remaining sons, but refuses to send Joseph’s younger brother, Benjamin, the only other son of Rachel, “for he feared that harm might happen to him.” (Genesis 42:4) Jacob is still playing favorites, like I wrote about here.
As though that’s not bad enough, even after Simeon (Jacob’s second son from his unloved wife, Leah) is left behind in Egypt, Jacob continues to insist that Benjamin cannot go to Egypt, saying, “My son shall not go down with you [Reuben, Jacob’s firstborn son], for his brother [Joseph] is dead, and he is the only one left.” (Genesis 42:38) In fact, Jacob still has eight other sons in addition to Reuben left at home, namely Levi, Judah, Dan, Naphtali, Gad, Asher, Issachar, and Zebulun.
How would you feel if you heard your father say such a thing about one of your brothers?
Wouldn’t you want to scream and cry and stomp your feet, “Hey, Dad, what about me? Don’t you love me? Aren’t I your son? What about me and my children? What if we starve here from this famine?”
When the famine becomes even more severe and all the Egyptian grain has been consumed, Jacob is finally willing to send his sons again to Egypt to buy food. (Keep in mind, Simeon had been left in Egypt as a captive all this time.)
Judah, Jacob’s fourth son who was also born to Leah, solemnly pledges to his father, “From my hand you shall require him [Benjamin]. If I do not bring him back to you and set him before you, then let me bear the blame forever.” (Genesis 43:9 ESV)
To which Jacob finally relents, “May God Almighty grant you mercy before the man, and may he send back your other brother and Benjamin. As for me, if I am bereaved of my children, I am bereaved.” (Genesis 43:14)
Now, put yourself in the shoes of Judah, or one of Leah’s other sons or worse yet one of the sons of Rachel’s servant Bilhah or Leah’s servant Zilpah. Imagine hearing your father refer to Simeon, your big brother as “your other brother” while Rachel’s son is referred to by name. Benjamin, Jacob’s last son. Benjamin, the only remaining son of Rachel, Jacob’s dearly loved wife who died during his birth. Benjamin, the “son of my right hand.”
Whether spoken intentionally or not, Jacob’s words communicated to his children that Benjamin is more valuable than they are. Read Judah’s own words to Joseph about his dad at the end of Genesis 44.
“As soon as he sees that the boy is not with us, he will die … Now therefore, please let your servant remain instead of the boy as a servant to my lord, and let the boy go back with his brothers. For how can I go back to my father if the boy is not with me? I fear to see the evil that would find my father.”
Genesis 44:31a, 33-34 ESV
In spite of the pain that his father has caused him, Judah still loves his dad. He may not be expecting a prodigal son’s welcome home — no father running to him with arms open wide. Rather, he is expecting to arrive home to a father who is looking behind him to see if his baby brother is there. And yet … Judah is still worried about the deep pain that his brother’s loss will cause his father.
Are you having a hard time loving someone who has hurt you again and again? Are you struggling to forgive someone who has repeatedly broken your heart?
Let’s pray.
Heavenly Father,
How I long to see you face to face, to sit at your feet and have every tear wiped away from my eyes! How I ache for the pain and sin and sorrow of this world to be over!
But, Father, in the meantime, help me to love as Your Son loved. Remind me how much You have forgiven me. Show me my sin.
Help me to forgive even those who forget me and reject me and spit in my face. I want to forgive others as You have forgiven me.
Lord, I can’t do this on my own. I need Your strength. Help me to see the log in my own eye, to accept responsibility for where my own sin has contributed to the pain that I find myself in.
I want to overcome evil with good, for You are good and I am Yours.
In the Good and Gracious name of Jesus I pray, Amen.
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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Psalm 21, Genesis 40-41
Joseph answered Pharaoh, “It is not in me; God will give Pharaoh a favorable answer.”
Genesis 41:16 ESV
I love how God works within space and time to reveal Himself to people. Two years ago, just after I finished reading Genesis 40-41 for my daily Bible reading, I received an email about an article that was published by Premier Unbelievable about my testimony of coming to faith in Christ out of atheism. In reading Genesis 40-41, I was struck by Joseph’s humility, his insistence that it was God, not him, who revealed the meaning of dreams. Joseph easily could have become puffed up and patted himself on the back for his accomplishments, but he didn’t. You find this same humility in Daniel and Peter and John and Paul.
“Then the mystery was revealed to Daniel in a vision of the night. Then Daniel blessed the God of heaven. Daniel answered and said: “Blessed be the name of God forever and ever, to whom belong wisdom and might. He changes times and seasons; he removes kings and sets up kings; he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding; he reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what is in the darkness, and the light dwells with him. To you, O God of my fathers, I give thanks and praise, for you have given me wisdom and might, and have now made known to me what we asked of you, for you have made known to us the king’s matter.””
Daniel 2:19-23 ESV
“While he clung to Peter and John, all the people, utterly astounded, ran together to them in the portico called Solomon’s. And when Peter saw it he addressed the people: “Men of Israel, why do you wonder at this, or why do you stare at us, as though by our own power or piety we have made him walk? The God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, the God of our fathers, glorified his servant Jesus, whom you delivered over and denied in the presence of Pilate, when he had decided to release him. But you denied the Holy and Righteous One, and asked for a murderer to be granted to you, and you killed the Author of life, whom God raised from the dead. To this we are witnesses. And his name–by faith in his name–has made this man strong whom you see and know, and the faith that is through Jesus has given the man this perfect health in the presence of you all.”
Acts 3:11-16 ESV
“Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you–unless you believed in vain. For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures, and that he appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve. Then he appeared to more than five hundred brothers at one time, most of whom are still alive, though some have fallen asleep. Then he appeared to James, then to all the apostles. Last of all, as to one untimely born, he appeared also to me. For I am the least of the apostles, unworthy to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God that is with me. Whether then it was I or they, so we preach and so you believed.”
1 Corinthians 15:1-11 ESV
I pray that I would do likewise, that when the Lord opens a door for me to speak or serve or act for His glory, that all the glory would go to Him and Him alone for He is the only one worthy. All that I am and all that I have, is a direct result of the grace that He has lavished on me, a sinner.
I am just a beggar telling you where to find bread. I am a sinner saved by grace. It is only by God’s mercy that I can do anything. He has caused me to be born again to this living hope, and I am eternally grateful. His grace compels me. His power gives me strength. His mercy allows me to be merciful.
Let’s pray together.
Oh, Heavenly Father,
Apart from Your grace, we are all just filthy rotten sinners. I remember all too well who I was. I wanted to be good, I wanted to do right, but I could never do it. Everything I did was tainted by conceit and pride and selfishness. I was lost and without hope. I lived under a cloud of fear and darkness.
BUT GOD! You saved me by Your grace. You took what was dead and made it alive. You took my heart of stone and gave me a heart of flesh. And all I can cry is HOLY! Worthy are You to receive all glory and honor and praise. Worthy is the Lamb. You are WORTHY!
My worth is not in myself – not in what I can say or do, not in what I have said or done – my worth is in YOU. You have made me worthy. You have called me YOURS. You have brought me into Your kingdom and set my feet on the rock. You have brought me to Your banqueting table and spread Your banner of love over me. Thank you, Father. Thank You.
In the Mighty and Merciful Name of Jesus I pray, Amen!
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My Worth is Not in What I Own – Fernando Ortega & The Gettys
Read through the Bible in 2 years: Psalm 19, Genesis 36-37
But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peacefully to him.
Genesis 37:4 ESV
Why are the brothers mad at Joseph because their dad loves him more? That seems so unfair. Isn’t it their father, Jacob’s fault rather than Joseph’s? … Isn’t that the way of man? And Joseph sure didn’t help matters by bragging about his dreams and being the family snitch.
Have you ever hated someone because you’re jealous of them? I have. In high school I always hated the “pretty girls” … though I see now that was rooted in my own insecurity and jealousy.
And what’s up with Jacob making it so obvious that Joseph was his favorite child? That is so heartbreaking…. But also so easy. A parent can naturally get along better with a certain child. Or a certain child may come into your life at a crucial time or in answer to your fervent prayers – like Joseph did – and ends up being preferred.
I wish I could tell you that my family has avoided the scars left by the childhood struggles of jealousy and favoritism, but that simply isn’t true. I have to confess that my children and I have wrestled long and hard through these issues. It’s not pretty, friends, and it has long-term consequences.
Our culture laughs about the issue of “sibling rivalry” as though it’s just a normal and natural part of childhood. It may be normal and natural in this fallen world we live in friends, but it’s certainly not good.
If you find yourself preferring one child over another, this, too, may be normal and natural, but it’s not good.
Let me encourage you to examine yourself first. Start with you. I believe that a big root cause of sibling rivalry is parental partiality. Do you have some children who are rebellious and other children who are compliant? Do you have one child who demands lots of extra time while your other children easily fade into the background? Watch yourself!
Let me share two ways that I tried hard to help fight favoritism and jealousy in my household.
“Day of the Week”
In our family, each child had one day to call their own. On their day, they got to be the one who picked a game at lunch. That child was the one who prayed over our meal, who picked the bedtime story, who got to ride in the front seat. Wherever there was a choice to be made that day, they got to pick it.
Over the years the day of the week varied a little depending on our family’s schedule, but usually our oldest child got Monday, our second child got Tuesday, our third child got Wednesday, I got Thursday (because this was a busy day for us so there were less choices to be made), and our fourth child got Friday. (Saturday was a family day and Daddy got Sunday.)
Weekly Date Nights
The other thing we did was weekly date nights. It was usually on a Friday night, but not always. The first Friday of the month was for our first child, second Friday was for our second child, third Friday for our third child, and the fourth Friday for our fourth child. My husband and I took turns taking out the kids, so every other month each child had a date with mom and the other month with dad. This intentionality and regularity helped each of our kids to stay connected with each of their parents.
What ideas do you have to fight Favoritism and Jealousy? I’d love to hear them. Leave a comment below.
Will you pray with me?
Heavenly Father,
Sibling rivalry has been around since there were siblings. The first murder was between two brothers and it was rooted in jealousy.
Please, Father, help us as parents to love each of our children fully and with all our hearts. Help us to recognize where we are falling short in this area and to confess and repent.
Lord, each of our children are unique and we naturally gravitate towards one or another.
You know our hearts. You know our motives. You know if they are right or if they are wrong. Feather, we confess our sin to You and ask Uou to forgive us and to create a right heart in us. We pray You would heal whatever scars our children have as a result of our own sin – our own feelings and actions rooted in partiality or favoritism.
We pray that You would heal any scars of bitterness or jealousy in our children. No matter their age. It is never too late. We thank you Lord for the blessing it is to have siblings and pray that You would use this unique bond to richly bless our children.
In the name of Jesus Christ who sticks closer than a brother, Amen
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Teach What is Good 
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