Category: Marriage

Advent Day 4 – Trust and Obey: Lessons from Abram and Jesus (Genesis 12 + Luke 4)

Published on by kendraskeLeave a comment

Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Luke 4

Today the kids and I read our fourth advent devotional in “From Creation to Christ” along with Luke 4. If you don’t have your own copy, you can order your own a Kindle version instantly, while you wait for the paper copy to arrive.

“Now the LORD said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. … So Abram went, as the LORD had told him.”

– Genesis 12:1, 4a ESV

“And Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit in the wilderness for forty days, being tempted by the devil. And he ate nothing during those days. And when they were ended, he was hungry.”

– Luke 4:1-2 ESV

My husband and I are about to celebrate our twenty-eighth wedding anniversary. Many of those years have been hard, friends, and sometimes I’ve questioned what God is up to. Why did He put the two of us together?

In the first five years of homeschooling, I often second guessed whether God had really called me to this because it was an uphill battle day after day. Now with the end of my homeschooling days on the horizon, I can look back and see God’s hand with me every step of the way. I know that God has carried me and walked with me, even though the path has been at times twisty and rocky.

Our culture has sold us the lie that if we obey God, then everything will be smooth sailing. Don’t believe it. It wasn’t smooth sailing for Noah or Abram. It wasn’t smooth sailing for John the Baptizer or Jesus Christ or His disciples. Don’t be surprised when it’s not smooth sailing for you.

My job isn’t to question and argue and second-guess, to help God figure out where I ought to turn. My job is to follow where God leads and stay on the path that He has set before me. My job is to trust and obey.

Heavenly Father, You know all the answers. You know what path is best. You are almighty. You are all-knowing. And You are good. Help me to trust You and to stay on that straight and narrow path. Help me to go where You lead me. Help me to follow You rather than trying to get out front. Help me to go where You send me. Help me to trust and obey. In the Name of Jesus Christ, my faithful Shepherd I pray. Amen.

The Blessing of a Christian Mother-in-Law: Naomi, Ruth, Jan, and Me

Published on by kendraskeLeave a comment

Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Ruth 1

Did you know that the famous words from Ruth 1:16, “For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God,” were spoken by Ruth to her mother-in-law, not her husband? Well, now you do. In fact, Ruth said this to her mother-in-law after her husband’s death.

My grandma made this for me as a wedding gift. Ruth 1:16.
Baby #1 – very tired parents, very happy grandparents

Little did my Grandma know when she cross-stitched Ruth 1:16 for a wedding gift for me what an enormous impact my mother-in-law would have on my life. To be honest, as a young bride I struggled in my relationship with my mother-in-law, but God…. God used my mother-in-law’s patience, kindness, and forgiveness to draw me to better understand God’s patience, kindness, and forgiveness.

How’s your relationship with your mother-in-law? Rather than looking at all the things she’s done wrong, try looking instead at all the things she’s done right. You married her son. She must’ve done something well. Next time you start thinking about all the ways you’d like her to change, try looking at what you could change to improve your relationship with her. Could you be more patient, kind, and forgiving toward her? Start there and see what God does. And if you need to make a call or have a face-to-face chat about some hard feelings from something that happened days, months, or years ago, do it. Today. Don’t let bitterness take root and spoil the good fruit that God wants to bear through you.

At Baby #1’s wedding shower

Heavenly Father, Thank You, Lord, for the gift of a mother-in-law who loves You and who loves me. Help me to be grateful and to recognize that this truly is a gift. Thank you for blessing my son with a wife and my daughter with a husband. Give me the wisdom and strength I need to be a patient, kind, and forgiving mother-in-law myself. In the Name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.

God Speaks to Women, Too: A Lesson from Judges 13 in the Life of Samson

Published on by kendraskeLeave a comment

Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Judges 13

An angel appeared to Hagar in the desert (Genesis 16) and to Mary, the mother of our Savior Jesus (Luke 1). The Lord answered the prayers of Hannah when she asked for a son (1 Samuel 1). Abigail’s discernment and quick actions spared David from having revenge on foolish Nabal (1 Samuel 25).

Here, in Judges 13, the Lord has chosen Manoah’s unnamed wife, a barren, childless woman, to be His messenger to her husband.

Sisters, God wants to use you as a blessing to your husband, your children, your church, and your community. He has a purpose for you.

Whether you’re married or not, whether you have a house full of kids or not, if God has chosen you as His child, then He has chosen you to be His ambassador, a messenger of the most high God.

Heavenly Father, I pray that I would call out to You, seeking You, morning by morning and evening by evening and that I would hear Your voice as You answer me. You have chosen me to be a vessel of Your grace. May that grace overflow to my husband and my children and their children. May that grace bring glory to Your Name. Give my husband and I discernment as we listen for Your voice. Help us to know when You are speaking and grant us unity in Your Holy Spirit. Help us both to be humble toward each other and to You. In the Name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.

Making and Keeping our Vows: A Lesson from Judges 11

Published on by kendraskeLeave a comment

Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Judges 11-12

On December 23, 1994, I vowed before God and 150 some witnesses, to love and cherish my husband until parted by death. With our 30th wedding anniversary quickly approaching, I’m so thankful that the Lord has given us both the strength to keep that vow.

Entering into the covenant of marriage is not something to be done lightly. If you are considering marriage yourself, please think seriously before vowing yourself to be faithful to another until death. Like Ecclesiastes 5:2 says, “Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth.”

  • Pray and seek wisdom from the Lord.
  • Seek counsel from believing friends.
  • Ask deep questions of your future spouse, making certain that they are committed followers of Jesus Christ before you enter into such a covenant with them.

When I started pondering this topic of keeping a difficult wedding vow, I started thinking about tough questions like these:

But, what if a husband is abusing his wife or his children? Or what if he is actively involved in an adulterous relationship and refuses to cut it off despite his wife’s pleas? Or what if he is destroying his family, squandering his health and his money on drugs or gambling? Would the Lord want a woman to remain with that kind of man in order to keep her marriage vows?

Charles Spurgeon said in his sermon titled, Retreat Impossible, “In Jephthah’s case there were good reasons for going back. He had made a rash vow, and such things are much better broken than kept…. If you have come under a rash vow, you must not dare to keep it. You ought to go before God and repent that you have made a vow which involves sin; but as to keeping the sinful vow, that were to add sin to sin.”

Do Spurgeon’s words apply to the marriage vows? Is it adding sin to sin to stay with an abusive spouse in order to keep your wedding vows or is it not? I don’t have the answers to these questions, but I’m sure thinking about them. I want my thoughts to be God’s thoughts, rooted in the character of God and the Holy Scriptures.

Heavenly Father, I lift up my sisters who find themselves in an abusive marriage. Please protect them and guide them. Protect their children. Protect their minds, hearts, and bodies. Help them to love their neighbor as themselves and do good to their enemies. Show them the way of escape that You have for them. I don’t have all the answers, but You do. Show us the way, Lord. In the Name of Jesus Christ, the perfect, sinless Lamb, we pray. Amen.

Who’s Fighting Your Battles? A Lesson from Gideon and Judges 7.

Published on by kendraskeLeave a comment

Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Judges 7

The LORD said to Gideon, “The people with you are too many for me to give the Midianites into their hand, lest Israel boast over me, saying, ‘My own hand has saved me.’

Judges 7:2 ESV

This passage has had a special place in my heart since one night about twenty years ago when the Holy Spirit convicted me about how often I used manipulation to get my husband to do what I wanted. That night, the Lord opened my eyes to the importance of trusting Him to fight my battles, rather than trusting my own skills of argumentation to get my way. That night, I decided to quit fighting against my husband and to start praying for him. That night, I finally recognized that I might be winning these marital battles, but I was losing the war for my marriage.

Can any of you relate?

Ask yourself what weapons you’re using to fight your own battles: Nagging and complaining? Threatening and yelling? Silence and the cold shoulder? Put those weapons away, friends. They’re not the Lord’s weapons; they’re the enemy’s.

If the Lord can cause the entire Middianite army to kill one another, giving the Israelites success by merely blowing their trumpets, then surely He conquer the heart of your stubborn loved one.

Put on the whole armor of God, the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, the shoes of the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, and the helmet of salvation. And take up your weapon, the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, and start praying in the Spirit, asking Him to fight for you. (Ephesians 6:12-17)

Join forces with the Lord.
Remember who your real enemy is.
Quit fighting your spiritual brothers and sisters
and start fighting the spiritual forces of evil.

Heavenly Father, we need You to fight our battles for us. Open our eyes to see the spiritual battle that we are in. Make us soldiers in Your army, wielding that Sword of the Spirit, your Word, with excellence and accuracy, praying without ceasing, and seeking Your face for direction day after day. Let us not grow weary of well-doing. Give us clean hands and pure hearts. Help us to root up those spirits of bitterness and selfishness. Protect us from pride and manipulation. Make us more like You. In the Name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and our Brother, we pray. Amen.

Rock of Ages

Act Like Men: Stand Firm, Be Strong, and … Love Well

Published on by kendraskeLeave a comment

Read through the Bible in 2 Years: 1 Corinthians 16

We hear 1 Corinthians 13 read at every wedding. Love is patient and kind. Love does envy or boast. Love is not proud or rude. Isn’t it beautiful?

But love is also steadfast and firm, immovable and strong. Love is a mother telling her toddler, “No,” a hundred times in the same day. Love is a grown daughter telling her alcoholic mom that she’s got a problem. Love is refusing to stand idly by while pornography tries to ruin your marriage or homosexuality tries to steal your teenager.

Be watchful, stand firm in the faith,
act like men, be strong.
Let all that you do be done in love.


1 Corinthians 16:13-14 ESV

Love takes guts. Love takes strength. Love takes the stamina of a thoroughbred racehorse and the patience of Job. Love requires you to be willing to get battle scars for the sake of another because you believe they’re worth the fight.

Ladies, sisters, friends, act like men. Be watchful. Stand firm in the faith. Be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.

Heavenly Father, Your Son, Jesus Christ, is the perfect manifestation of manhood and love. Strength and humility. Stamina and kindness. Make us more like Him. Teach us, show us, how to love like He loves, how to give up our lives for another, to be willing to suffer to save someone else. We need You, Father. We can’t do it on our own. In the Name of Jesus Christ, the Lover of my Soul. Amen.