Category: Marriage

The Rollercoaster Ride of Life

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Joshua 12:1-14:5

See this rollercoaster? It’s called “Runaway Mine Train.” If you ever find yourself in St Louis, you can go to Six Flags and ride it yourself. The Mine Train is about the only rollercoaster ride that I’ll go on.

I don’t like rollercoasters that shoot you out going 100 mph. I don’t like rollercoasters that make you travel backwards or through endless dark tunnels. I don’t like rollercoasters that make you spin around in circles and leave you dizzy. I prefer a more sedate, predictable ride with just a few bumps and turns.

25 years ago today, we found out that the much-planned-for baby that I was carrying had passed away in my womb. Less than a month earlier I’d walked into my doctor’s office for what I thought would be a routine 12-week checkup, absolutely unaware that the entire course of my life was about to change. That day I had the first of a series ultrasounds which revealed that my unborn son had a fully obstructed bladder, followed by an amniocentesis to check for generic anomalies, and ultimately in-utero surgery. The rollercoaster ride I hadn’t signed up for came to an abrupt halt with the words, “I’m sorry, Mrs. Endraske. We can’t find a heartbeat.”

But, God.

God had different plans for me and my family. God had a different little boy in mind to grow up in my family. God was at work behind the scenes for who He wanted to be my oldest son. This journey, too, would feel like a runaway rollercoaster ride, but this time the ride included the prize of a beautiful little boy in my arms.

There have been plenty of situations in my fifty years of life that I never would’ve chosen for myself. Twists and turns, highs and lows, that I wish I’d never taken.

But, God.

El Roi, the God who sees, is the One who has expertly laid out the tracks that my life has run on. Though my life has all too often felt completely out-of-control, the truth is that God has been guiding and directing my course.

My heart had planned my way, but the Lord is who established my steps. (Proverbs 16:9)

Many have been the plans of my mind, but it has been the purpose of the Lord that has stood. (Proverbs 19:21)

The Lord’s plans have been for my welfare and hope, not for my harm (Jeremiah 29:11-14).

The roller coaster ride of my life has compelled me to seek God, rather than merely coasting down the paths I would have chosen for myself.

How about you? Are you on a ride of life right now that you’re thinking, “I didn’t sign up for this?” Are you looking frantically for the escape hatch? What do you think the Lord is teaching you in the process?

Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father, Your ways are higher and better than ours. You hold my life, my future in Your Almighty hand. You are on Your sovereign throne. Help me trust You. Even when I’m walking through dark valleys, help me remember that You are with me, holding my hand and guiding me in the paths of righteousness for Your Name’s sake. Give me strength to trust You to rightly order and direct my steps. In the Name of Jesus Christ, my Good Shepherd and the Captain of my soul, I pray. Amen.

Fear Makes You Hide and Deceive

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Joshua 9

When Eve was afraid in the garden after she’d eaten the forbidden fruit, she hid from God. (Genesis 3:10)

When Sarah was afraid since she’d laughed at the pronouncement of her upcoming pregnancy, she lied, denying that she’d laughed. (Genesis 18:15)

In today’s passage in Joshua 9, when the Gibeonites heard about what the Israelites had done to the cities of Ai and Jericho, they were afraid, so they concocted an elaborate scheme to deceive Joshua, insisting that they had come from a very distant country rather than from a nearby land.

Have you ever been confronted with something you’re ashamed of or embarrassed about? Maybe it was something as small as how much you weigh or how much you spent at the grocery store that day or how many cookies you ate from that enormous platter of cookies that was sitting out on the counter tempting you all day? Maybe it was something bigger like you’ve been caught speeding or cheating on your taxes or stealing something from work?

When you find yourself in one of those situations, are you tempted to lie? To bend the truth? To cover up or hide what really happened?

Do you say you weigh five pounds less than you really do or you only ate two cookies when you know you perfectly well that you ate four?

Do you say you didn’t see the speed limit sign, even though you knew what the speed limit was because you drive that street every day?

Oftentimes our gut reaction to even the tiniest fear of embarrassment or shame will be to lie, hide, and deceive, even though deep inside we know we should come clean and tell the truth.

Let me encourage you, friend. Make your fear of God greater than your fear of man. Fear bringing shame to His name more than you fear bringing shame on your own. Remind yourself that God knows what is true and you can’t hide from Him.

One little deception begets more deceit. That first lie will lead you down a path you don’t want to go down.

I wonder, has the Lord brought something to your mind as you’ve been reading this that you feel guilty about? Something you’ve hidden or lied about? Come clean today. Confess right now. God is quick to forgive. He loves a repentant heart.

Heavenly Father, You are the truth. It is impossible for You to lie. But for us fallen women, it’s often easier for us in the moment to lie rather than face the consequences of our actions. Lord, I pray that our fear of disappointing You would be greater than our fear of disappointing someone else. I pray that we would be women of integrity and honor because You are a God of integrity and honor. Forgive us for all the times we’ve taken the shortcut of secrecy rather than keeping carefully on the road of reality. I’m asking You to cleanse me of this sin in the blood of Jesus Christ. Create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit in me. To the glory of Your Name I pray. Amen.

God Brings Hidden Sin to Light

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Joshua 7

The Lord is perfect in His power and wisdom and knowledge. Nothing is hidden from Him. Nothing is outside of His control. Who are we to think we can hide from Him? He is so good to bring to light in His sovereign timing the things that are hidden.

Yet, even when things remain hidden, our actions have consequences. We might think that we aren’t hurting anyone in those little secret things we do. The truth is: that’s not true. Our sin impacts those around us, whether they find out about our sin or not. When we pursue – or remain – in sin, it changes our outlook on life. Our words and actions are affected by our inner thoughts and desires.

Little by little, those sinful desires inside us tempt us and lure us away from the Lord’s goodness. In today’s passage in Joshua 7, Achan’s sin began the moment he coveted the spoils of the town of Jericho. This coveting led to breaking God’s command to destroy these items, and that led to even more deceit and disobedience. Achan’s sinful choices led to the death of his children, as well as the defeat of Israel at Ai and the death of 36 of his countrymen.

Don’t believe the words of that lying serpent who says, “No one will ever know. You’re not hurting anybody. It’s no big deal. God is just mean. He is withholding good things from you.”

The truth is: God knows even if no one else ever finds out and your sin stays buried under your tent.

The truth is: You’re hurting yourself, and those around you, when you choose sin over obedience

The truth is: Every sin is a big deal when inspected under the blinding light of God’s holy perfection.

The truth is: God is good, very good, and He wants for Your good. Hidden sin will tear you up inside. It wreaks havoc on your heart, your mind, your family, your community, your church – even if you don’t realize it. And He knows that, so He’s protecting you and your people from it’s harm.

And praise be to God, He is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast in love and faithfulness. He is a God of second chances. He wants so much to reconcile you back to Himself that He sent His own Son to die in Your place, that You might be forgiven and set free of your slavery to that sin that’s holding you captive.

1 John 1:6-9 ESV — “If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Acts 3:19-20a ESV — “Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.”

Romans 4:7 ESV — “Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven, and whose sins are covered;”

Isaiah 1:18 ESV — “Come now, let us reason together, says the LORD: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.”

Ephesians 1:7 ESV — “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace.”

Heavenly Father, You have forgiven me so much. Time and time again I have wandered off the path of holiness and found myself again in the swamp of sin. Thank You for Your unending forgiveness and mercy. Help me to clean out the closets of my soul, to bring into the light things that I’d rather keep hidden, to unearth those hidden things I’ve tried to bury so no one would find out. Make me a peacemaker. Make me an agent of Your peace, an ambassador for Your kingdom, a messenger of reconciliation. May the love of Christ control me – and compel me – to preach the good news in any place, at any time, and to any one. Because, Lord, You are worthy and deserve the worship of all of your Creation. In the Name of Jesus Christ, my Savior and Redeemer and Lord, I pray. Amen.

Yet Not I but Through Christ in Me – City Alight

The Goodness and Sovereignty of God in Bringing Hidden Things to the Light

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Joshua 5-6

God is a “that very day” God. He has purpose in His timing. He fed the Israelites with manna until the day after they had the produce of the Promised Land. This kind of perfect timing always encourages my faith in the goodness and sovereignty of God.

God is also a “that very person” God. He has purpose in His people. God didn’t have to choose Rahab the prostitute to deliver the Hebrew spies, but He did. God saw in her something that He wanted to use in His kingdom. This, too, encourages my faith in the goodness and sovereignty of God.

Are you going through something right now that is tearing you up? Something that’s gnawing at your mind and eating you up inside? I am. And the Lord knows it. The Lord sees what is hidden in the dark.

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.

O LORD, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.

You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.

Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.

You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it.

Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, you are there!

If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.

If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,” even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.

Psalm 139:1-12 ESV

The Lord knows what is hidden in my heart and your heart, and He knows what is hidden in that other person’s heart, too.

And no creature is hidden
from his sight, but all are naked and
exposed to the eyes of him to whom
we must give account.

Hebrews 4:13 ESV

Have you ever dealt with bedbugs? We did. It was awful. The thing is, though, we didn’t even know it! Those sneaky little things were eating my son alive, but we didn’t even know it.

Then, finally, after weeks of unexplainable bites, I got out my handy-dandy flashlight and peered into the cracks and crevices of my son’s bed frame, and there they were. Every nook and cranny of that blessed thing were full of them. But I didn’t even know it! And if it hadn’t been for the bites covering my son’s body, I’d never know to go looking for them.

Here’s what that taught me: Don’t be mad when evidence finally comes to light. Be thankful that those hidden things are finally being revealed so they can be dealt with!

I’m thankful we figured out what was causing those bites all over my son’s body … so we could deal with it and get rid of them! Likewise, I don’t want hidden sins to go undetected, wreaking havoc on a person’s heart, life, and soul.

My greatest desire is for everyone to be saved, to truly know the peace, love, and joy that only faith in Jesus brings. Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father, You are the God of angel armies. You can bring to rubble even the highest, strongest walls erected by the greatest nations. One Word from Your lips makes even the mightiest army fall to their knees. You know all things. You are all-mighty, and You are good. Help me to trust in Your perfect timing and Your perfect wisdom. Redeem the things that are ugly, like You redeemed Rahab … and me. Thank You for Your grace toward me. Thank You for giving me a testimony. I am Yours forever more! You are God, and You saved my soul! I am free! I was dead, but now I’m alive! All praise to Your Name, Jesus! Amen.

Saved by Soul – City Alight

A Prayer of Gratitude and Surrender

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Deuteronomy 26

The Lord has brought the people out of their slavery in Egypt, and now He is bringing them into this blessed land flowing with milk and honey. The commanded response, as well as the logical response of gratitude, is to offer back to God some of the fruit of this land – and not just any of the fruit, but the first fruits. Giving first fruits demonstrates faith and dependence on the Lord.

But, if I’m honest with myself and with you, I have to confess how stingy I am with the many gifts that the Lord has given me, whether with my time, my talents, my treasures, or my testimony. I treat these things as though I have earned them myself rather than recognizing that they are gifts from God, given to me to give back to Him and to share with others.

Heavenly Father, I pray that I would have a heart overflowing with gratitude for all that You have given me. Truly, what do I have that I haven’t been given? Where would I be today if You hadn’t brought me by the hand every step of the way? Now, today, I offer back to You the first fruits of my labor. My children, my home, my work, my mind and mouth and money, are Yours. I give them back to You as an offering of praise. They are Yours. They were given to me by You, and now I again give them back to You, laying them down, prying my fingers off of them, leaving them on the altar of Your Holy presence. In the Name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen

The Sojourner, the Fatherless, and the Widow

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Deuteronomy 24-25

Again and again the Lord makes special provision for the sojourner , the fatherless, and the widow. Reading through my Bible today, and not getting much out of these chapters of “various laws,” my eyes feel upon a note in my Bible’s margin from the last time I read it cover to cover.

Sojourner – God is my resting place.

Fatherless – God is my father.

Widow – I am His bride.

Sisters, write notes in your Bible that you can find next year. Leave reminders to yourself of how the Lord turns your heart while you read His Word. Let these remind you – and those who come after you.

As members of God’s kingdom, we’re all sojourners, wanderers, aliens in this world. Our true citizenship is in heaven. God has called us to be His ambassadors.

As members of God’s family, we’re His children and He is our Father. We can come to Him with confidence, knowing that He loves us dearly and cares for us tenderly, as a Father loves and cares for his children.

As the bride of Christ, we are called to be shining lights for Him, His hands and feet on earth, humbly depending on Him for strength, comfort, and guidance.

I’m blessed. God is good.

Jesus, Strong and Kind – City Alight

The Dangers of Pride and Self-Sufficiency

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Deuteronomy 7-9

Moses had some words of wisdom for the Israelites before they entered the Promised Land. He warned them not to turn away from God saying to themselves, “My power and the might of my hand have gotten me this wealth,” (Deuteronomy 8:17) and “It is because of my righteousness that the LORD has brought me in to possess this land.” (Deuteronomy 9:4) He was worried that when they were full and had built nice houses to live in and had plenty of sheep, cattle, gold, silver and children, they would “forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.” (Deuteronomy 8:14b)

This was a very real danger for the Israelites, and it’s a very real danger for us.

Beware, sister, lest you forget that God chose you while you were yet a sinner, an enemy of the gospel. Beware, sister, lest you fall away and trust in your own righteousness rather than Christ’s. Beware, sister, lest you no longer see your need for the Lord’s salvation and provision.

Heed the words to the church in Laodicea from Revelation 3:17-18

For you say, I am rich, I have prospered,
and I need nothing,
not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable,
poor, blind, and naked.
I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire,
so that you may be rich,
and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see.”

Revelation 3:17-18

I was reminded of something I wrote about earlier this week about the roadblocks that stand in the way of us teaching our children. One stumbling block that I hadn’t thought about at the time, though, was pride. Sometimes we feel like we don’t need to teach our children because we think, “They’re good kids. They know God’s Word. They don’t really need me to teach them.” In our self-sufficiency, we become lazy parents. We take pride in our children’s accomplishments, thinking that we must be really great parents to have produced such great kids, rather than humbly acknowledging God’s mercy toward them and us.

Dear friends, the Lord did not choose you because you were mighty or lovely or powerful or smart or good. In fact, you weren’t any of those things before, and you’re not any of those things now. Sure, you might be more kind or beautiful or smart or religious than your husband or sister or neighbor, but compared to God we are all filthy and wretched.

  • Compared to the wisdom of God, you are a fool.
  • Compared to the kindness of God, you are a selfish beast.
  • Compared to the power of God, you are nothing more than a grasshopper perched precariously on a blade of grass.

Moses had never read my favorite Bible verse, Romans 5:8, “But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us,” yet, the Holy Spirit inspired him to write Deuteronomy 7:6-8. God is unchanging, sovereign, and good. Trust in Him and Him alone.

“The LORD your God has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth. It was not because you were more in number than any other people that the LORD set his love on you and chose you, for you were the fewest of all peoples, but it is because the LORD loves you and is keeping the oath that he swore to your fathers, that the LORD has brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the house of slavery, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt.”

Deuteronomy 7:6b-8 ESV

Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father, thank You for Your mercy and grace. Thank You for Your forgiveness. Thank You for the peace that You have given to me, redeeming me and bringing me into Your family and Your kingdom. I pray that You would keep me humble. You have given me so much. You have anointed my head with oil again and again. My cup indeed overflows. Keep me on my knees. Help me to seek You and You only. Help my heart to truthfully say, “There is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.” Let me not boast in anything save in the cross of Christ. You are all I need. In the Name of Jesus Christ, my Treasure and Savior, I pray. Amen.

You are my All in All – Maranatha

A Prayer for Purity – Romans 14

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Romans 14

Pray with me.

Heavenly Father, May my life be lived daily “in honor of the Lord”. Whether I eat or whether I abstain, let me be fully convinced in my own mind, walking by faith and not by flesh. I want to be prepared to give an account to You for how I have lived. I am thankful that You are my judge, because You are impartial and righteous and merciful and wise, and I am selfish and foolish and petty. I am not my brother’s judge. You are. You are the all-knowing, all-righteous judge of the world. I pray that I will pursue what makes for peace and building up the body in unity and holiness. I pray that I would not do anything that would cause my brother or sister to stumble. May the body of Christ be pure and holy, without blemish, in word, thought, and deed, to the glory of Your Name, and may that begin with me. In the perfect name of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior I pray. Amen.

Overcoming Evil with Good

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Romans 12

12:9 ESV — Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.

I love Romans 12. It’s so full of practical wisdom. I’d love to memorize all 21 verses in order, so I could remind myself of every ounce of it every time I needed it.

First, I need to be reminded that my body is a living sacrifice for God, that I might walk daily in the holy obedience of faith.

Second, I need to be reminded not to think of myself too highly, but to remember that my faith is a good gift from God, that I might serve Him by serving others in my teaching, exhortation, giving, leading, and serving.

And then, I need to be reminded that my love must be genuine and sincere, free from hypocrisy, that I would hate what is evil and cling to what is good. This reminds me of 1 Corinthians 13:6, Love “does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.” Our culture says that we should applaud others’ choices, no matter what they are, but our Lord says that genuine love HATES evil and LOVES good.

And finally, I need to be reminded how to treat those enemies that genuine love will make, that I am not to repay wrong with wrong, but to overcome evil with good.

Light and love are our secret weapons in the fight against the evil one
and those in his grasp.

Vengeance belongs to the Lord, not us. We are His servants, called to put on the full armor of God, to resist the devil and fight the good fight of faith. Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father, please help us to remember that we are Your soldiers, Your workmanship, Your children, Your servants, that we are in a battle between good and evil. Let us fight this battle well, with the sword of the spirit ready in our minds, mouths, and hands, overcoming evil with good by Your power at work in us. Let us not grow weary of doing good, knowing that at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not lose heart. In the Almighty and Good name of Jesus Christ we pray. Amen.

Being a Peacemaker

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Reading through the Bible: Numbers 32

I just loved reading Numbers 32 about how Moses handled this situation with the people of Gad and Reuben who wanted to stay on the east of the Jordan rather than crossing over.

  • Moses explained how he felt.
  • Moses remained calm.
  • Moses asked questions.
  • Moses shared his own personal experience.
  • Moses didn’t hide his faith.
  • Moses listened with an open mind to the other side of the argument.

And as a result, Moses helped everyone come to a mutually agreeable, God-honoring compromise.

Lord, I want to be a Peace-maker … not a Peace-faker – burying my head in the sand and letting bitterness fester in my heart … not a Peace-breaker – making selfish demands, storming and sulking, spewing angry words like lava. Help me to know when to speak up and when to guard my mouth with a muzzle. Help me to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to be angry. I want to be Your servant, correcting my opponent with gentleness and respect, pursuing peace, being an ambassador for Your kingdom rather than my own. In the Name of Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace, I pray. Amen.