Category: Marriage

The Miracle of Faithful, Forgiving Love

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Read Through the Bible in 2 years: Psalm 19; Genesis 33

But Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.

Genesis 33:4 ESV

Twenty years earlier Jacob had fled for his life after lying to his father and cheating his brother Esau out of his father’s final blessing.

Jacob was terrified to go back and see Esau again. He expected Esau to kill him, his wives, and his children, or at a minimum anyone would expect Jacob to receive a severe tongue lashing, right?

This is so not what anyone would expect. Forgiveness and reconciliation are rare commodities in human relationships, even between brothers.

Like the father in the parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15, Esau ran to his brother and embraced him.

“How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”’ And he arose and came to his father. 

But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. 

And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 

But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate." - Luke 15:17-24 ESV

I’m reading about Esau, but all I can think about is God’s overwhelming, never-ending, faithful love. He loved me while I was yet His enemy. Truly He loved me first. I am able to love because He first loved me!

I confess that I don’t really understand how all this works, but I do know that it all begins and ends with our loving Father. He draws us, He pursues us, He draws us to repent, He lavishes His mercy on us.

If Esau was able to forgive his lying, deceiving, selfish brother, that takes an act of God. Likewise, if we’re able to forgive others who hurt us, it’s an act of God.

Dear sisters, God is able to do it through us! What is impossible for man is possible for God! God can give us the strength and humility to forgive others who have hurt us. And He commands it of us. We must forgive others because we have been forgiven by God of SO MUCH!

Which reminds me of another parable that Jesus told. This time in Matthew 18.

"Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 

Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times." 

"Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 

So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 

So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 

Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 

And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” 

-Matthew 18:21-35 ESV

Let’s pray

Heavenly Father,

Please give us the strength and humility necessary to forgive others. Help us to say with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Help us to pursue others while they are sinners like Jesus pursues us. Help us to overcome evil with good rather than repaying wrong with wrong.

Make us more like Jesus who was willing to suffer that we could be forgiven and set free.

Help us to love others like you have loved us

In the Grace of Christ I pray, Amen.

The Unloved Wife

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Genesis 29-30

"When the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. And Leah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Reuben, for she said, “Because the LORD has looked upon my affliction; for now my husband will love me.” She conceived again and bore a son, and said, “Because the LORD has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also.” And she called his name Simeon. Again she conceived and bore a son, and said, “Now this time my husband will be attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” Therefore his name was called Levi. 

And she conceived again and bore a son, and said, “This time I will praise the LORD.” Therefore she called his name Judah. Then she ceased bearing." 

- Genesis 29:31-35

So often as women we feel like we control our own wombs. I remember a time of great marital struggles and infertility for my husband and I. Reading this story about Leah is such an encouragement to me. God has purpose both in our fertility and in our barrenness. May we bring him glory in both.

Yet when God gives Leah sons, she views them as tools to try to get her husband to love her.

Son #1: Now my husband will love me.

Son #2: The Lord has heard that I am hated.

Son #3: Now my husband will be attached to me.

Finally, Son #4: THIS TIME I WILL PRAISE THE LORD!

Yet, it’s this fourth son, Judah, whom God chose to father the line of the Messiah, the Savior of the World, Jesus Christ, God’s only Begotten Son. And it’s Leah, the unloved wife, whom God chose to bear Judah.

Are you feeling unloved today? I’ve been there. But so has Jesus. He knows how it feels to be rejected by those who were supposed to love Him. And He loves you. And He is worth more than a perfect husband or a thousand imperfect sons.

Let me pray over you.

Heavenly Father,

You are close to the broken-hearted. You are the God who remains faithful when man is faithless. You love the unloveable, the poor, the lonely, the rejected.

You are the good shepherd who pursues that lost sheep.

I pray that we would praise You when life is good and we would praise You when life is hard. No matter what, You are worthy of our praise.

We offer our hearts, minds, wombs, and lives to You. Father, fill them as You will in Your perfect timing and for Your purposes. Help us to trust You with our hearts and our hurts.

In the name of Jesus we pray, Amen.

Rebekah, the Ensnarer

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Read through the Bible: Genesis 27-28

I’ve always liked the name Rebekah so I was extra disappointed when I read her story in Genesis 27 and 28.

Reflecting the meaning of her name, Rebekah is an ensnarer. She wants what she wants, and she is willing to do whatever it takes to get it. Jacob, her quiet son, the one who “dwells in the tents,” is her favorite. (Genesis 25:27-28) And she deceives her own husband and tells her son to do likewise so that he will get his father’s blessing.

Like Adam listened to his wife, Eve, and Abraham listened to his wife, Sarah, only this time it’s the son listening to his mother’s voice.

But we can’t place all of the blame on Rebecca. Jacob, too, lies to his father saying, “I am Esau, your firstborn” and “the Lord your God granted me success.” (Genesis 27:19-20) (By the way, did you notice that Jacob said, “the Lord your God” not “the Lord my God”?) And even going so far as saying a third time, after his dad questioned him again, “Are you really my son Esau?” He answered, “I am.” (Genesis 27:24 ESV)

When Rebecca finds out that Esau wants to kill Jacob, she doesn’t go to Esau herself and admit her wrong and seek to help reconcile her sons. No… Instead she calls Jacob to her again, telling him to “obey her voice” and flee to her brother, Laban. (Genesis 28:5)

Sin begets more sin. Once you open up the littlest pinprick of a stream, it’s hard to stop the water from flowing.

But, do you know what really blows me away after reading all of this?

God STILL blesses Jacob.

God. Still. Blesses. JACOB.

#1 – Why? Why is God so merciful and faithful? Why doesn’t He take the blessing away from Jacob and give it to Esau?

#2 – If we as women truly believe that God is good and merciful and faithful and sovereign, then why are we willing to go to such GREAT lengths to make our lives go the way that “seems right to us.” God had already promised Rebecca that “the older shall serve the younger,” (Genesis 25:23) yet she still deceived her husband and made her son do likewise to “make it happen.” Let us not follow her example. May we be women who trust God with our lives and the lives of our children.

Maybe God hasn’t promised us something so specific for our children, but God has promised us SO much! He has promised to never leave us or forsake us. He has promised to always be with us. He has promised to take care of us. Check out some of my recent blog posts like this and this for more encouragement.

There is a way that seems right to a man, but it’s end is the way to death.

Proverbs 14:12

Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father,

I pray that we would be women who trust You, that we would trust You SO MUCH that we would not feel the need to take matters into our own hands. May we rightly fear You, Lord, that we would not dare to sin against You. May we trust that You are able to do more than we could even ask or imagine. May we trust that You are indeed for us, so we need fear no man or life circumstance.

Make us women of the word. Make us women of faith. Make us women who our children can rise up one day and praise because we have faithfully trained them up in the fear of the Lord.

We love You, Lord. You are faithful even when we are faithless. Grow our faith, Father.

In the Mighty Name of Jesus Christ we pray, Amen.

The Lord has made room

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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Genesis 25-26

Genesis 26:22 ESV - And he moved from there and dug another well, and they did not quarrel over it. So he called its name Rehoboth, saying, "For now the LORD has made room for us, and we shall be fruitful in the land."

In reading Genesis 25 and 26, I was first struck thinking about the pain and confusion Isaac and Rebekah must have felt in their 20 year wait to bear a child. Then, I pondered the plethora of problems that partiality causes, especially when it’s in a family.

But then when I came to Genesis 26:22 and felt led to look up that word “Rehoboth” which I learned means “broad place,” which then reminded me of a verse in Psalm 18 that I read last week.

Psalm 18:36 ESV, "You gave a wide place for my steps under me and my feet did not slip."

And I wondered, was the first well, the Esek well, not in a broad place? How about the second well, the Sitnah well, was it not in a broad place? I don’t think so.

Rather, Isaac and his herdmen made a conscious decision to avoid a quarrel … to choose peace over strife. The Lord had given them all of this land, but Isaac and his men had to choose to avoid a quarrel. (You can read the story in Genesis 26:17-22)

Well, that then reminded me of what I’m studying in 1 Timothy 3:2-3 ESV, “An overseer must be above reproach … gentle, not quarrelsome …” The NASB95 translation says, “An overseer must be above reproach … gentle, peaceable.”

That word that the ESV translates “not quarrelsome” and NASB translates “peaceable” is amachos (G269). a + machos … not + fighting, not + contentious. Paul uses this same Greek word amachos in Titus 3:1-2 ESV, “Remind them (that’s everyone, not just overseers or elders … look back at Titus 2:15 for more context) to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling (NASB95: be peaceable), to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.”

And I can’t talk about quarreling without looking at Proverbs. Proverbs has a little – I mean, a lot – to say about quarreling! Here’s a sampling of verses from Proverbs of quarreling:

  • Proverbs 17:14 ESV – The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out.
  • Proverbs 19:13 ESV – A foolish son is ruin to his father, and a wife’s quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.
  • Proverbs 20:3 ESV – It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.
  • Proverbs 21:9 – It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.
  • Proverbs 21:19 ESV – It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.
  • Proverbs 25:24 ESV – It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.
  • Proverbs 26:20-21 ESV – For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases. As charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.
  • Proverbs 27:15 ESV – A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike;

And how about a few verses from Romans 12,

 "Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."
Romans 12:16-21 ESV

Let’s pray,

Heavenly Father,

No matter how big or small my house, no matter how big or small my yard, no matter how many or few people I have to share my place with, You have indeed given me a wide place for my steps. The boundary lines You have given have fallen for me in pleasant places. I have a beautiful inheritance. Because You, Lord, are my chosen portion and You hold my lot.

Whom shall I fear? You are the stronghold of my life or whom shall I be afraid?

In God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?

The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. I can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”

I pray that so far as it depends on me that I will live peaceably with all. Help me, Father, to avoid quarrels, to keep a careful watch over my mouth that I may not sin with my tongue. Help me to guard my mouth with a muzzle, especially when teh wicked are in my presence.

I pray that my mouth would be FILLED with Your PRAISE and with Your GLORY all the day.

I pray that I would not be a quarrelsome or contentious wife. Father, make me an excellent wife. Please help me to do my husband good and not harm all the days of my life. I pray that I would open my mouth with wisdom and that the teaching of kindness would be on my tongue.

I pray all this to the glory of Your name and for Your Son Jesus Christ who gave Himself up for me to redeem me and to purify me, to make me a woman for His own possession who is zealous for good works. Amen.

I love to pray scripture. This prayer is guided by Psalm 16:5-6; Psalm 27:1; Psalm 56:11; Psalm 118:6; Hebrews 13:6; Psalm 141:3; Psalm 39:1, Psalm 71:8; Proverbs 21:9, 19; Proverbs 31:12, 26; Titus 2:14

The story of Abram – when a Husband Chose His Wife’s Wishes over God’s

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Proverbs 3:13-18; Genesis 16, 

"And Sarai said to Abram, “Behold now, the LORD has prevented me from bearing children. Go in to my servant; it may be that I shall obtain children by her.” And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai." - Genesis 16:2 ESV

Why, oh why, did Abram listen to his wife?

If only he had said, “No, Sarai. We must trust the Lord and wait upon Him. He is the generous giver of everything good. He will give us a child in His timing.”

It reminds me of Genesis 3 when Adam chose to listen to the voice of Eve rather than trusting and obeying God. 

"And to Adam, [God] said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you, ‘You shall not eat of it,’ cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life;" - Genesis 3:17 ESV

Both Adam and Abram faced lifelong consequences from their decision to heed their wives’ poor counsel.

Wives, we need to be very careful what we say to our husbands. Our husbands will so often go along with our suggestions – or demands – because they trust us, or they want to make us happy, or they want to make us stop complaining. We must consider carefully the consequences of the words we speak.

Will you join me in praying for our husbands, and ourselves, today?

Heavenly Father, You are a good God who loves to give good gifts to Your children. Your timing is always perfect. Please help us to trust You. Please help us to wait for Your perfect gifts. Let us not grow weary of doing good. Let us not give way to unbelief and doubt. Instead, give us the strength we need to fix our eyes on Jesus and to wait patiently for His salvation. Help us to be godly helpers who seek our husband’s good and Your glory.

Please forgive us Lord for the times when we have gone astray and even let her husband’s astray. We repent of our selfishness and pride.

We lift our husbands before You. We pray that they will cast all of their cares onto You and trust that You care for them. Let them not grow weak-kneed or cowardly. Help them to stand strong against temptation, especially when that temptation comes from our own lips.

In the name of Jesus, our perfect Savior, we pray, Amen.

A Prayer for a Husband — Going Out, Not Knowing Where You’re Going

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Read Through the Bible in 2 Years: Proverbs 3:9-10; Genesis 12

"Now the LORD said to Abram, "Go from your country and your kindred and your father's house to the land that I will show you." - Genesis 12:1 ESV

Abram, too, finds his way into the Hebrews Hall of Faith, like Abel and Noah that we read about recently. 

"By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going." - Hebrews 11:8 ESV

In reading Genesis 12, I wanted to either focus on Abram failing to protect his beautiful wife from the advances of the Pharaoh or on Abram choosing to trust God and go out to an unknown land.

But, instead, I’m going to choose Door #3, that in spite of Abram’s great shortcomings, he was God’s chosen man called for a specific purpose. Like Noah, a righteous man, chosen by God for a great purpose who became drunk with wine shortly after surviving the worldwide flood, Abram obeys God in going out to this new place, yet he gives way to fear.

Like we read in Ephesians 2:8-10, “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”

From Abel to Noah to Abram to Bill and Kim Endraske, each of us have been saved by our faith, not by our works. Yet our faith will lead us to do works of faith, whether in offering good sacrifices, or building big boats, or going out to foreign lands, or writing blogs one-day-at-a-time, may we walk faithfully with our God.

Let’s pray together.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for the precious gift of faith. You did not choose me because of any deed that I had done. In fact, You cast Your eyes and Your love upon me while I was Your enemy. You called me and chose me and drew me and put faith into me … and all I can say is THANK YOU!

Lord, I pray for my husband to hear You loud and clear. Help him to be strong and courageous and not to be afraid. Help him to resist the temptation to take the easy way out. Father, I pray that You will be faithful to complete the good work that You have begun in him. Direct his steps and protect him from the schemes and lies of the evil one. Give him the strength and wisdom to follow You. Help him to know Your Word and hear Your voice as You lead him.

Father, help us as wives to submit to our husbands, not to fear anything that is frightening. Encourage us to sit daily at Your feet, that we might trust You when life is scary. Help us to keep a careful watch over our mouths and our minds, thinking and speaking the truth in love. Make us godly helpmeets, doing good to our husbands all the days of his life, so that his heart can trust us and he will have no lack of gain.

Lord, we submit to You and Your will for our lives. We will go where you send us, when you send us, trusting that Your ways and thoughts are always better than ours.

In the Good and Sovereign Name of Jesus we pray, Amen.

Learning from the Lives of Cain and Abel

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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Genesis 4-5

We don’t really know exactly why God accepted Abel’s offering, but not Cain’s, but I think Hebrews 11:4 gives us some insight.

"By faith Abel offered to God a more acceptable sacrifice than Cain, through which he was commended as righteous, God commending him by accepting his gifts. And through his faith, though he died, he still speaks." - Hebrews 11:4 ESV

Oftentimes, we want to do what seems right to us, rather than doing what God has said. We think, “What’s wrong with eating the fruit of that tree? It looks fine to me.” Or we think, “Why can’t I give God this fruit, I am a farmer after all?”

Yet, faith trusts God. Faith trusts that what God has said is right. Faith believes that God is good and all-knowing and that all His ways are right.

And like Hebrews 11:6 (explaining more about Abel and other men and women of faith) says, 

"Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek him." - Hebrews 11:6

Who are we seeking? Whose reward do we desire? Who are we trying to please? Are we pursuing our own pleasure and comfort or are we pursuing the Lord?

It’s like the words of Christ that we read in John – “Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves Me, he must follow Me; and where I am, there will My servant be also. If anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him.” – John 12:25-26 ESV

We must not expect that when you’re living for the Lord that the world will love you. In fact, Abel’s life is an example for us. Like John wrote in 1 John 3:12-13 ESV — “We should not be like Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous. Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you.”

Cain said to the LORD, “My punishment is greater than I can bear." - Genesis 4:13 ESV

Were you taken aback when you read this? I was. When I first read this, I thought, “No, Cain, your punishment is much too light. You killed your brother. You deserve to be killed.” (In fact, Genesis 9:6 says just that.)

But as I’ve pondered it more, I see the foreshadowing of Christ bearing our sins, from the largest to the smallest. Cain deserved death for his sin, and though I’ve never murdered anyone physically, I deserve death for my sins, too. “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 6:23 ESV

Yet I couldn’t bear the punishment for my sins any more than Cain or anyone else could.

But Christ bore our punishment in our place, that we can be justly forgiven by a just judge.

"[Jesus] committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed." 1 Peter 2:22-24 ESV

Let’s pray.

Heavenly Father,

We come to You with hearts of thanksgiving for Your grace that You have lavished on us. We confess the hateful thoughts that we have had in our hearts toward men and women created in your image. We confess that we have often been jealous of others – The relationships they have, the talents they have, the possessions they have, even the faith they have. We confess we have often gone our own way rather than trusting Your character and Your Word.

We thank You for Jesus Christ the only perfect sin substitute, the Lamb of God who was slain for the sins of the world, including me.

We humbly ask You to forgive us and cleanse us through the blood of Christ that was shed for us.

Please, Heavenly Father, give us the strength and wisdom that we need to live like Christ – not repaying wrong with wrong, not repaying reviling with reviling, but overcoming evil with good. Help us to entrust ourselves to You, the only one who judges justly. We pray that our lights would shine brightly – even when the world is yelling at us to turn our lights out. May we shine brightly for You.

In the holy and merciful name of Jesus we pray, Amen.

The Gift of Being Created to be a Helper

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Read through the Bible in 2 Years: Genesis 1-2

I like to read Genesis one and two together because I see Genesis chapter two as an expansion of the account of the creation of man in chapter 1. There’s so much in these two chapters that I read both of them together, two days in a row.

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” 

Now out of the ground the LORD God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. 

So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 

Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." - Genesis 2:18-24 ESV

God saw that it was not good for Adam to be alone, so He wanted to give Adam a helper who was fit for him. Not just any helper would do. He didn’t just need the strength of an ox or the beauty of a peacock or the loyalty of a dog. No, Adam needed a suitable helper, designed especially for man, and so God gave him a woman.

Being a helper is a gift to both the man and the woman. The man needs the woman … And the woman has been given a very important job.

In God’s perfect timing, I’m writing this as I’m visiting my parents hundreds of miles away from my husband. I can assure you, my husband misses me. Yes, he misses me cooking and cleaning for him. Yes, he misses me making his morning coffee. Whether he misses them or not, he needs my little reminders and extra set of hands. But I think he especially misses my company, having to talk to and share life with.

And this is a great blessing! It is good to be needed and missed.

We need to be so careful to not allow our children to take our husband’s place. Children are made from the seed of their father, not from his rib … or yours. Children are created to leave their parents, but husbands and wives are created to become one flesh until they are parted by death.

Sisters, don’t leave your husband in the dust while you’re attending to your babies. Those babies are going to grow up and move away, but your husband will be by your side for the rest of his life. He needs you and you need to be needed. Make sure you keep your children and your husband in their rightful places in your hearts, minds, and lives.

I speak from personal experience – this is hard, but it can be done. Here are a few ideas I’ve learned (and am still learning) over my 28 years of marriage.

  • Schedule regular dates with your husband to keep those flames of friendship burning.
  • Look for something small that you can do to serve your husband every day – make him a cup of coffee or write him a little note or send him a text over lunch.
  • Express to your husband (and others) how grateful you are for him. Let them know how much they mean to you and how much you value them.
  • Keep a careful watch over your thought life. Complaining thoughts turn into complaining attitudes and complaining words. Nothing works more powerfully against your marriage than having a complaining Spirit. When those thoughts (true though they might be) come into your mind, grab hold of them and replace them with the truths of hope and grace found at the foot of the cross.
  • Make praying for your husband a priority. Ask God to bless him and guide him. Check out this video to a wonderful prayer for your husband – from his head to his feet.

Let’s pray now.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You so much for the gift that my husband is. Thank You for making me his helper. Thank You for making him such that he needed me. And thank You for making me fit for him.

Help me to recognize the blessing it is to be needed. I pray that I would make my husband a priority in my life. Help me to do him good and not harm all the days of his life. Help me to submit myself willingly and cheerfully to him, and to trust You, Lord, in the process.

Father, help me not to grow weary of doing good and to trust that in due season I will reap harvest if I do not lose heart.

I pray that You would bless my husband with every spiritual blessing according to the riches of Your glory in Christ Jesus. I pray that You would take care of him physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Give him the strength and wisdom that he needs to lead our family. And give him the humility that he needs to turn to You in his weakness.

In the good and gracious name of Jesus I pray.

Amen.

Of Light and Darkness, Love and Hate

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Read through the Bible in 2 years: Psalm 12; Proverbs 2:16-22; 1 John 2:7-17

"Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness. Whoever loves his brother abides in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes." - 1 John 2:9-11 ESV

What is love? What is hate? Love is an emotion but it’s also an action. Love is wanting GOOD for someone while HATE wants harm for them.

Reading Psalm 12 and Proverbs 2 along with this passage, I thought of how much lying and adultery are really signs of hate … while honesty and integrity are marks of love. One might say that they love someone while their lips are speaking lies. One might say that they love someone while leading someone astray. But true love desires for the other person’s health, holiness, and well-being.

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world." - 1 John 2:15-16 ESV

At its very essence, the love of the world and the things of the world boil down to love of self, love of comfort, safety, and pleasure. My love of the world is nothing like God’s John 3:16 love – “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” My love of the world looks a lot more like loving my own pleasure. The truth is that I love me some ME.

And when my eyes are full of loving me, there’s no room left to love my Heavenly Father or my neighbor. To truly love my Heavenly Father, I have to put His glory and His commands over my own fleeting pleasures. To truly love my neighbor, I have to put their well-being over my own, and that takes Holy Spirit power and strength! I can never do that in my own flesh.

Won’t you pray with me?

Heavenly Father,

We want Your glory and majesty to fill the earth. Make us Your vessels. We want to walk in the light as You are in the light. We want to love our neighbor as ourselves. We want to love others as Christ loved us.

But, Father, we can’t do it on our own.

Please forgive us for how far and how often we have gone astray. We have loved the world and the things in the world, instead of loving You and loving our neighbor. We have loved ourselves and hated our brothers.

We repent of our sins. We turn to You, knowing that You are our only hope in life and death. Thank You for the forgiveness and grace available to us through the blood of Christ. Thank You for Your power and guidance available to us through the Holy Spirit.

We need You every hour. We cry out to You and ask for Your help and we know that You hear us.

Thank You! Thank you! Thank you! By the perfect righteousness of Christ we come to You.

Amen

A New Commandment

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Read through the Bible in 2 years: John 13

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another." John 13:34 ESV

When Jesus knew that His hour had come to give up His life and return to his Father, He didn’t look to a bucket list of “Top 100 Things to Do Before You Die.” No, he washed His disciples’ feet. The most important thing to Him before His death was to leave an example of true love for His followers.

He gives them this “new commandment” – a very old commandment actually, but made even more difficult by the addition of “JUST AS I HAVE LOVED YOU.” It’s really, really hard to love your neighbor as yourself. (Mark 12:31) This takes supernatural power. But to love others sacrificially as Jesus did – washing your friends’ feet, your students’ feet, even your betrayer’s feet – and even to lay down your own life for someone else, this is impossible apart from being born again, having a new will and new power working in you. (Philippians 2:13)

Will you please pray with me for the Lord to give you this strength?

Heavenly Father, I confess to you how hard it is for me to love others as myself, and even how impossible it is for me to love others as you have loved me. Help me to remember that what is impossible for man is possible for God. Nothing is impossible for you. I can do this because you give me strength.

Help me to remember that You loved me while I was a sinner, your enemy. You ran after me while I was running away from you.

Help me to feel that kind of love for others and to express that kind of love toward others. Help me to pursue others like you pursued me. Help me to serve others like you served me. Help me to see the need of other people as greater than my own need.

Jesus, you are my perfect example of being a servant. Help me to consider others more highly than myself. Help me to serve my family and my friends, people who love me. Help me to serve my children and my students, people who are under my authority. Help me to serve the stranger and alien and even my enemy, remembering that you loved me when I was a stranger and alien and even Your enemy.

In the strong and kind name of Jesus, I pray, Amen.