Dear Younger Kim, (Intro & Part 1)

picsart_1477060816375I have recently begun a friendship with a younger mom on Facebook.  She is just beginning the homeschooling journey and is eager to learn all she can from any of us more experienced moms.  Bless her for that.  Two days ago, she messaged me this question:

So if you met yourself when your kids were as young as mine (4 and 1), what would you tell her?

Wow!  What a question!  What do I wish that I’d heard (heard = heard & listened to, believed, obeyed) from a more experienced mom 15 years ago?  What would I like to go back in time and tell myself?  Wow!  I can’t get the question off my mind, and thus begins this series that I pray will be a blessing to my dear, humble friend.

First off, I must confess that some of these statements will be things that I believe I have done well.  But others, probably most of them, I fear I have not.  I include both for the benefit of my younger self, that I may learn both from my successes and my failures.  And I share this counsel, both to my younger self, and the younger moms out there, as well as to my now older self.

In Titus 2:4-5, older women are instructed to teach what is good and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands, with the ultimate goal that God’s word would not be reviled (or in other translations: blasphemed, slandered, or dishonored).  Whether I’m an older woman yet or not, my goal in training the younger women to live an honorable life before God and man, is that God would be honored rather than dishonored.  That, indeed, is my desire as I write these for Ashley, myself and anyone else who might stumble upon them.  May God, my Father, Jesus Christ, my Savior, and the Holy Spirit, my Counselor, be glorified in all I say and do.

So, here we go.  My first nugget of wisdom is this:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

In the original Hebrew of Proverbs 3:6, that word translated “acknowledge” is yada, to know.  According to dictionary.com, “acknowledge” means (1) to admit to be real or true; recognize the existence, truth, or fact of: (2) to show or express recognition or realization of: (3) to recognize the authority, validity, or claims of.

As I meditate on this most important verse, I say, Kim (that’s me), trust in the Lord.  Trust Him.  Believe in Him.  Don’t trust your emotions, your human understandings of this.  Know the Lord.  Seek Him.  Moment by moment and step by step and day by day, seek Him first, and He will make your way straight and right.  He will direct your steps as you know and trust Him as Lord with your whole heart.

It is good to seek counsel from other people.  Keep listening to those talks and reading those books, but your trust has to be in God alone.  He alone is God.  He is the creator of all things and He is the author of all wisdom.  Beware of thinking that if you follow somebody’s “Ten Steps to a Perfect Child who Loves God,” that you’re guaranteed something.  This is a lie.  It is as you TRUST the Lord, Kim, as you follow Him fully, that your path will be made straight.

This word “straight,” in the Hebrew is yashar which according to Blue Letter Bible means to be right, straight, level, upright, just, lawful, smooth.  This is not the same as painless, carefree or easy.  Beware.  God is interested in refining you and your children into His vessels, directing you as you live out the purposes for which He has created you, whatever it takes.  Trust Him, when your path is hard, and trust Him when your path is easy.  Trust Him with all your heart.

Meditate on that today.

TWIG

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One Week of One on One

I wonder what it would be like to be the youngest of four.

Yes, I had a sister, but only one.  I do remember spending summer vacations sometimes by myself with my grandparents.  It was both fun and lonely.

This week it was just me and Daniel.  Me and Bubba.  Me and my little guy.
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While Daddy, and the big brother and sisters were in Reynosa, Mexico for a mission trip to Rio Bravo Children’s Home, Daniel and I stayed home to play house together.

So, you may wonder, what did we do?

Well, we played lots of lots of Risk.  I think 7 games so far.  I’m up 4 games to 3.
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We taught ourselves to play chess with an Usborne book.

We brought Daniel’s mattress into Mom and Dad’s room so he could sleep on the floor in my room.

We began reading “How God Used a Thunderstorm” together and listened to a bunch of exciting American History stories from Adventures in Odyssey.  Daniel was particularly taken with the courageous stories of Sergeant York during World War I.

We went to Aldi together to buy all the necessary vittles for a week without eating out, including Moose Tracks ice cream and ice cream cones.
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We ate simple things like egg sandwiches and chocolate chip zucchini muffins and waffles with fresh sliced strawberries and biscuits with sausage patties.  Three meals a day.

We spent some time apart.  Mommy took a few hours a day to work on finishing the formatting for the Bible study guide she’s working on while Daniel napped or read books by himself or watched something on Right Now Media.
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We checked out a few DVDs at the library to watch snuggled on the couch.

We went bowling at the local bowling alley.

We played MLB 2K11 on XBox – Daniel won 3 for 3.  No contest.  I just can’t seem to figure it out.

We got our swimming suits on and took a bubble bath together in Mommy’s giant jacuzzi.

We took care of each other while we took turns battling fevers, and sore throats and sinus gunk.

We did the required household chores (even the ones that weren’t “ours”), like sweeping and cooking and laundry and taking care of the dogs.

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Most importantly, we made many, many memories that I trust will last a lifetime.

TWIG

My “dream day”

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I’m currently leading a Sunday School class discussion on a book titled Let. It. Go.: How to Stop Running the Show and Start Walking in Faith, by Karen Ehman. 

In the book on pages 129-130, Karen encourages us to imagine our ideal day, to script a blank 24-hour time period to fill in any way we choose. This seemed like such a fun group activity that would really reveal a lot about each woman’s personalities and interests.

So here’s mine.

My ideal 24-hours starts with going bed early say about 9 o’clock listening to a podcast or classical Christian instrumental music on Pandora. The following morning I’d wake up early to watch a beautiful sunrise while reading my Bible, including a bunch of rabbit trails of Greek word studies. After a protracted time of prayer, I would spend some time blogging about the lessons the Lord is teaching me.

The rest of my day would be spent leisurely reading Christian novels or encouraging non-fiction books while eating shrimp tempera sushi rolls and a Toblerone bar, and drinking my second cup of incredibly sweet and creamy fresh brewed coffee, snuggled up in my comfy bed under my down comforter.

Late in the afternoon, I’d take a peaceful drive by myself through the country while listening to a Familylife podcast or encouraging homeschool speaker sermon and watching the wildlife on the side of the road. For dinner, I would go to a quiet, peaceful, upscale Japanese restaurant for more sushi. Then its off to a library or bookstore to peruse the latest Christian books, and if there’s time a run into Goodwill to shop for some inexpensive clothes for myself. To finish out my day, a stop at Sheridans Frozen Custard for a concrete, never without a Christian book or magazine.

Do you notice any patterns here?

Do you notice anything missing?

Here are the patterns I see: I like to be with God and with books and with food.

Here’s what’s missing: people. There are no other people in this ideal day.

Here’s the problem: in my real life, my real days are filled with real people, younger people and older people, but people who need me and love me. People who I love deeply, but ultimately in my terrific selfishness I just want to be alone.

Pray for me!  By no coincidence yesterday I was listening to a Family Life podcast about what a killer selfishness is in a marriage. How true. 

For as much as I fear some people read this and think how “godly” I am to want to spend my day in prayer and the scriptures and so on, let me just say that really that’s just God working in me.  This is God IN me.  Truly God has used my natural bent toward cerebral pursuits and turned that to serve Him. 

But, this can still be my FLESH.  In my selfish, sinful FLESH, I can even turn seeking God into a selfish pursuit – escaping my God-ordained duties and responsibilities to retreat into myself in the name of Jesus.

So how about you guys???

I would love to hear what your “dream day” would hold! I have a feeling we have at least one people-person out there. Don’t be shy.

Each of us is God’s unique workmanship that we would be in beautiful harmony in Him.

Thank you!

Thank you to everyone who sent me emails and called and prayed for me. I really do appreciate it. I did have a lovely birthday.  Not because everything was perfect, but because I serve a God who is perfect. 

“I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe.” 1 Timothy 1:12-16 (ESV)

The two worst days of the year

If you were going to name your two least favorite, most likely to be disastrous, days of the year, what would they be?

Guess what mine are.

The first day of school? No.

Black Friday? Nope.

9-11? No again.

Pearl Harbor Day? Keep guessing.

Bear with my honesty, please. Sadly, for many years running, the two worst days on my annual calendar might shock you.

My two least favorite days are …. Drum roll, please… My birthday and Mother’s Day.

I can hear you now. “What???” “That’s gotta be some kind of typo.” “That girl is crazy.”

I have a feeling, though, that I’m not alone in this. I have a feeling that I’m not the only selfish, discontent, hard to please, woman out there.

And before you all join in feeling sorry for me, imagining that my family forgets my birthday or skips the handmade Mother’s Day cards, STOP for you’d all be dreadfully wrong. It’s not anything like that.

Actually, my family tries to do things to please me – breakfast in bed, gifts, cards, dinner out, but you know what? It’s just never enough. I am so deeply entrenched in thinking that every moment of my “special day” should be all about me, that I am destined for disillusionment. I’m certain to be met at some point in the day with a dirty dish, a crying child, or a gift that won’t zip up. The breakfast isn’t cleaned up after, the cards and gifts aren’t quite right, the restaurant isn’t my top choice. Do you feel me, sisters??? The day is never perfect enough and I’m left disappointed rather than delighted.

Now I have a feeling that you are wondering, why I’m telling you this? Why am I sharing this in such a public forum? And why on earth am I telling you this now?

Well, you see, tomorrow marks my 41st birthday and I am determined that my day is going to be different.

Not different because I’ll be swarmed with comments from hundreds of adoring blog followers, but different because I’m determined to wake up with an attitude of gratitude. Different because I’m going to put on joy like a coat. Different because God has put a new song in my heart and I am not the same woman that I used to be, so I don’t have to live like I used to. Different because I don’t have to let my past dictate the future.

Today, I am committing myself to be thankful even for dirty dishes and crying children and pants that are two sizes too small.

Today I’m choosing to be thankful for a family who loves me and a God who made me in His image and who has good plans for me.

Lord, teach me to be content. Teach me to be thankful. Teach me to love others as they show their love for me.

Thank You, Jesus, for making me right where I am and thank You for always growing me to be more like You.

TWIG

15 years ago, halfway around the world…

… a beautiful baby boy was born.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you…” Jeremiah 1:5 (ESV)

That very same week, we began to pray for the baby boy that God would give to us to adopt.Nick with his MOMMYI prayed for him before I knew him, before I’d laid eyes on those big brown eyes, before I’d held those big round thighs, before I’d rubbed that tense, strong back, before I’d heard that laugh that could bring a smile to the weariest mother’s face.

That child who was borne halfway around the world in a nation and culture so different than my own was chosen by a great, big, good God to be my very own “little man.”Nick Emily at Chris and Summer's wedding

Now as I look into those same big brown eyes and hear that same big infectious laugh, those chubby thighs and rigid back may be gone, but I continue to pray for that precious child who has grown into manhood before my very eyes.

Papa Emil with Nick April 2001And I will continue to pray faithfully for this beloved son until my dying day … because he is worth it.

I pray with thanksgiving to a God who places orphans into families and who placed this one in mine.

I pray with thanksgiving for his first mother who carried him in her womb and who gave us a gift in this beautiful boy.100_4169I pray with thanksgiving for the workers in the Russian hospital and baby home who cared for this baby boy for his first six months of life.

I pray with thanksgiving for the Future adoption agency who worked tirelessly to bring him home and all those fellow “Future” families who cheered us on.

Yet, I also pray with humble tears for the millions of other orphans still in need of families.

Nick's Camera 073I pray for the Lord’s blessing upon that first mother we hope to meet in Heaven and on all of the many people who cared for this baby boy and helped make his adoption possible.

I smile and say, “Thank you, Father, for the gift of this special child.”

IMG_1731He brings excitement into life’s daily drudgery that would otherwise drowned me in the mundane.

He memorizes movie lines and song lyrics so effortlessly, reciting actors’ names from movies I’ve long ago forgotten.

He rattles off sports statistics and Cardinals players biographies with fascination and ease.

DSC_8263He draws a crowd with his engaging wit, quick smile and expressive story telling.

What does God have in store for this young man’s future?

Only He knows, but whatever it is, I’m thankful to be a part of it.DSC_8138Happy Birthday, son. I’m glad you’re mine. I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Love
TWIG

By the way, if you’d like to give my little big man a birthday gift, how about checking out his YouTube channel? Maybe watch a few zany skits? Maybe become a subscriber even? It really would make his day!

https://www.youtube.com/user/foreignbrothersfilmsNick's Camera 095

A New Year — Looking Back with Thanksgiving

Happy 2014!  Let us wake up each morning looking toward the blessings that day holds.

 Psalm 90:12 (ESV)  “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.”

Here’s the text from our 2013 Christmas letter.  I traditionally have each person write their own part for the newsletter, or at least coerce them into giving me lots of input.  This year, I confess, it was all me.

Bill and Kim - married 19 years
Bill and Kim – married 19 years

Bill – Probably the highlight of this year would be moving to a new house — yes, our fifth house!  We moved to a one-story home about 15 minutes south of Collierville, but across state lines.  Our new home is located in Barton, MS on a gorgeous 2-acre lot.  I’m enjoying the laid back lifestyle of the new neighborhood, complete with four-wheeler rides, bonfires and laser tag in our wooded back yard.  I’m still working at FedEx, leading a small group for our church and serving in the audio-video ministry there.

Kim – This year I have been blessed with many opportunities to share Biblical truths from my heart as I led a women’s Bible study over the summer and spoke at two women’s retreats a well as maintaining at blog — http://www.TeachWhatIsGood.com.  (Please check it out!)  My days are very full homeschooling and caring for my growing family, as well as serving our portable laser tag business, Pure Laser Tag.  In July, we took a trip out to Colorado to visit my parents and my sister and her family.  Upon arriving home, we began to hurriedly pack for our upcoming move, when Nick (our go-to moving man) contracted viral meningitis and ended up in the hospital for two days.  It was so faith-building to see the peace that God gave us as He brought Nick (and our whole family) through this scary, busy time.  We are especially thankful for our amazing church family who was there helping us every step of the way.  Incredibly, the week after moving in to our new home, I experienced a severe allergic reaction to poison ivy and ended up in the hospital ER.  I am thankful for once again experiencing that peace that surpasses understanding as we waited patiently upon the Lord and He heard my cry, bringing healing and help to come to my aid.  On top of everything, I’m scheduled to go in tomorrow for surgery on my right ulnar nerve in my elbow for something called Cubital Tunnel Syndrome (aka Ulnar Nerve Entrapment).  (Postscript – I’ve survived, but still waiting for the nerves to heal.  Ugh.)

Emily - 17
Emily – 17

Emily – It’s hard to believe that I’m in my final year of high school.  Time has certainly flown by!  This spring my mom and Noelle and I went on a cruise with my best friend (Dani) and some of her family.  We sailed out of New Orleans to Grand Cayman, Jamaica and Cozumel, Mexico.  It was amazing!  Over the summer, Nick and I went once again to Reynosa, Mexico to serve at the Rio Bravo Children’s Home.  I love it there and hope to be able to spend more time there next year.   I officially received my driver’s license this summer and am enjoying the freedom of being able to drive myself around.  Also this year, I’ve been having fun learning to shoot a recurve bow with the Memphis homeschool archery team.  On Thursdays I teach two classes (a science discovery class and a Bible study about the Biblical names of God) for homeschooled elementary students at Renewed Moms Ministry.

Nick - almost 15
Nick – almost 15

Nick – This year I officially started high school, though no one can believe that I’m only fourteen.  It’s fun seeing the shocked looked on people’s faces when they find out how old I am.  Last spring I played on a competitive 14-under team called “Batters’ Box” and this year I’m with the Memphis Homeschool high school team, “The Eagles.”  We started practicing and working out in August so we are looking forward to a great season.  On Tuesdays, I attend a learning center for homeschoolers called Veritas.  It is a college-prep program where I study rhetoric, apologetics, literature, geography and more.  The rest of the week I work on my schoolwork from home.   I enjoy making crazy videos with my best friend, Zane.  Emily does the recording and editing work, while Zane and I make up and perform the skits.  We have a YouTube channel at ForeignBrotherFilms (all one word).  We’d love some more subscribers!  (Hint, hint)

Noelle - 10
Noelle – 10

Noelle – I’m now in fourth grade and learning all the necessary fourth-grade skills, but my current passion is ice skating.  I ice skate almost every week at a skating rink near our new house and absolutely love it.  It’s exciting and fun and beautiful.  My other favorite activities include making crafts and made-up recipes in the kitchen.  I love going to AWANAs on Sunday nights with the rest of my siblings where I learn Bible verses, play games and hang out with my friends.

Daniel - 6
Daniel – 6

Daniel – This spring I finish kindergarten and this fall I officially became a first grader.  I love learning new things.  My favorite subjects are math and astronomy.  I am interested in all kinds of science things, like weather, outer space and how the body works.  At night, I love to work on memorizing new Bible verses and listen to my mom read books about real stuff, like hurricanes and tornados and trains and sharks.  Since moving to our new house, my siblings and I have been learning to shoot BB guns and archery.  I also like playing all kinds of sports, like soccer and baseball.

The wise man or the foolish man?

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“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.” Matthew 7:24-27

My kids and I first memorized Matthew 7 years ago – when Noelle was just a baby. It is such a beautiful passage filled with contrasts and ideals.

I am so loving my Scripture Typer Bible Memory app. It is equipping me to remember passages I thought I’d long since forgotten.

In reviewing this passage, this section really struck me. It is an example of a comparison and contrast paper like I might have written back in high school.

Similarities-
Both men heard Jesus’ words.
Both men built houses.
Both men’s houses suffered from rain and flooding and wind.

Differences-
The wise man did what Jesus said but the foolish man didn’t.
The wise man’s house was built, founded, on rock while the foolish man’s house was built on sand.
The wise man’s house did not fall while the foolish man’s house did – and great was the fall of it.

I think there’s so much we can learn here. Just listening to the words of Jesus does not cause our house to be built on the rock. We are not to merely listen to the word and so deceive ourselves. We are to DO what it says. (James 1:22-22).

We are all building our houses and we might even think we are building them well. The house itself may be beautiful and strong and well-built but if it’s foundation is not solid, it will fall when the storms of life come.

And indeed, the storms of life will come to us all. Those storms are frequently used by the Lord to show us where our heart is. That storm that displays God’s power and glory and might in one person’s life can be the very same struggle that causes another man’s life to crumble.

And now I ask you – on what are you building your LIFE? Remember, He has set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Choose LIFE that you and your offspring may live.

I love you, sisters. Press on. Remember, whoever hears these words of mine and does them is like a wise man who built his house on a rock.

A FOOLISH woman? or a WISE one?

The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. Proverbs 14:1 (ESV)

Matthew Henry’s commentary on Proverbs 14:1 reads,
A good wife is a great blessing to a family. By a fruitful wife a family is multiplied and replenished with children, and so built up. But by a prudent wife, one that is pious, industrious, and considerate, the affairs of the family are made to prosper, debts are paid, portions raised, provision made, the children well educated and maintained, and the family has comfort within doors and credit without; thus is the house built. She looks upon it as her own to take care of, though she knows it is her husband’s to bear rule in, Esth. 1:22. 2. Many a family is brought to ruin by ill housewifery, as well as by ill husbandry. A foolish woman, that has no fear of God nor regard to her business, that is wilful, and wasteful, and humoursome, that indulges her ease and appetite, and is all for jaunting and feasting, cards and the play-house, though she come to a plentiful estate, and to a family beforehand, she will impoverish and waste it, and will as certainly be the ruin of her house as if she plucked it down with her hands; and the husband himself, with all his care, can scarcely prevent it.

When I read Proverbs 14:1 this afternoon, it got me to thinking about the passage in Matthew 7 about the wise man who built his house on the rock, versus the foolish man who built it on the sand. In looking up that passage, I came across the similar, though less well-known, passage in Luke.

“Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you? Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: he is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house and could not shake it, because it had been well built. But the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it, immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great.” Luke 6:46-49

The wise man builds his house on the firm foundation of the rock, obeying God’s Word, so when the storms of life come, his house stands. The foolish man builds his house on the sand. He does not trouble himself to dig down to the solid foundation. He cannot be troubled to obey God’s words. When the storms of life come, his house falls.

Yet, consider this, the foolish woman of Proverbs 14:1 is tearing down her OWN house with her OWN hands. She doesn’t need any storms to tear it down! She is tearing it down herself. She, also, is doing that by hearing these words of Jesus and DOING them.

I pray that as I go in and out today that I will spend my days building my house, not tearing it down.