Family – Page 28 – Teach What is Good

Dear Younger Kim (#6), Grace and More Grace

Published on November 8, 2016 by teachwhatisgoodLeave a comment

This series is in response to the question:

So if you met yourself when your kids were as young as mine (4 and 1), what would you tell her?

If you haven’t read Part One in this series, click here.

Dear Kim,

Take a minute and read this passage out loud. Savor it. I hope this one puts a smile on your face and the joy of the Lord in your heart.

“And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ–by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:1-10

I want so much for you to be walking daily with Jesus, that I’m afraid I’m pushing you too hard. And when things are hard, you’re be tempted to do it in your own strength. And the thing is, Kim, it is too hard for you to do it in your own strength. You’ll only be able to walk this narrow road of faith as you trust in Him and believe in the mercy of God who loves you and gave His own Son for you.

Remind yourself daily that you were saved by grace, through faith, and that none of this is your own doing. It is not the result of works. You can’t earn God’s favor. You will never deserve His love.

It’s the other way around, Kim. While you were dead in all your sins, while you were a child of wrath, while you were the chief of sinners, God demonstrated His love for us, the immeasurable riches of His grace in kindness toward us, sending His own Son, to die for us that we could be forgiven. Wow! This is the good news of the gospel.

It’s so easy to get this mixed up.

Remember that God created you. Not the other way around. You are HIS workmanship. He created you in Jesus for good works, not because of them. As Paul wrote to Timothy, God “saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works but because of his own purpose and grace, which he gave us in Christ Jesus before the ages began.” (2 Timothy 1:9 ESV)

Before the ages began, Kim. Before you’d taken one single breath. Before you’d had the opportunity to do even one good deed, He saved you and called you. Because of His own purpose and grace.

Now, walk in that grace, by that grace. Give that grace to others. Pour out on others the grace and love that has been poured out on you. Trust Him with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. He’s got the whole world (that includes you) in His hands.

By His grace,

TWIG

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Dear Younger Kim (#5), Discipline Yourself

Published on November 3, 2016 by teachwhatisgoodLeave a comment

This series is in response to the question:

So if you met yourself when your kids were as young as mine (4 and 1), what would you tell her?

If you haven’t read Part One in this series, click here.

Dear Kim,

This is going to be another tough one. Not so much a tough one to hear, but a tough one to follow.

Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness, for bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. (1 Timothy 4:7b-8 NASB)

You’re reading the books and listening to the speakers about how to discipline your kiddos, but how about how to discipline YOU? And not just disciplining yourself to wake up early to go to the gym, or disciplining yourself not to eat that third cookie of the day, but disciplining yourself for the purpose of godliness.

OK. I hear you, older Kim, but what does that look like?

There are two places I want you to focus: (1) be diligent to study His Word and to pray faithfully each and every day and (2) keep a watch over your mouth. I’ll save that second one for my next post, so for today, let’s look at how to be faithful in your relationship with your Heavenly Father.

Kim, I know that you’re worn out, that you don’t want me to add one more thing to your “to do” list. But, Kim, it’s just not like that. This is going to be time that fills you up, that gives you more energy. It will give you the direction that you need, so you can spend the time you have investing in worthwhile pursuits.

Check out Terri Maxwell’s book “Sweet Journey” and go through it with a friend or a sister, or by yourself if you can’t find anyone and make a daily commitment to start your day with Jesus. She’ll help you get started in how to spend time with the Lord every day.

It will be good for your children to be trained to wait for Mommy while you read and pray. It will be time well spent. Trust me. Go to bed a little earlier and get up a little earlier. Just like your children will be trained a little bit at a time, so will you, and you need to start now. Don’t wait until they’re older to invest in your own time with the Lord. Trust me. (Why do I keep saying that? I think it’s because I know how prideful I am and what a hard time I have taking direction from someone else. Ouch.)

After you finish Mrs. Maxwell’s book, join a Bible study. A real one. Find a Precepts study (one day I know you’ll love them) or look up Community Bible Study. Don’t be afraid. I know some of those other ladies know more than you do, but you know what: That’s good! You can learn from them. Be transparent with them and tell them your needs. Do the best you can on the homework and just keep going.

No one becomes an Olympic athlete over night and no one expects you to know the full counsel of God in a day, but you’ve got to start somewhere. So, put aside your pride and all those time wasters and begin today to have a consistent time with your Savior, Redeemer, Father and Friend. Trust me. You won’t regret it.

TWIG

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Dear Younger Kim (#4), Number your Days

Published on November 1, 2016 by teachwhatisgood1 Comment

This series is in response to the question:

So if you met yourself when your kids were as young as mine (4 and 1), what would you tell her?

If you haven’t read Part One in this series, click here.

Dear Kim,

I know you’re coming to me looking for any nuggets of wisdom that I might be able to share with you, so here’s the next one. It comes from Psalm 90:12.

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.

Your days are numbered by the very God who created you. You cannot add to them. You cannot subtract from them. You do not know what tomorrow holds, but He does.

So, enjoy this moment. Enjoy these moments.

Spend time with your children, Kim. Make memories with them. Smile. Laugh. Recognize that these days when they are young truly are fleeting.

Pour into them. Disciple them. Read with them. Pray with them.

Don’t be jealous of those other moms whose kids are older or whose kids are in day care or school. Don’t be jealous of your husband for the time he gets to get out of the house. Be grateful for the influence you’re able to have over your children’s lives.

Teach them what you want them to learn, even a little bit at a time. You didn’t get where you are today overnight, don’t expect them to. Remember, they’re children.

Don’t wait until they’re older to start training them. You’ll be amazed at their capacity to learn – not necessarily to learn to read or multiply, but to learn. They’re learning from you every single day.

They’re learning to be patient. To be kind. To listen. To think of others more highly than themselves. To have self-control. To value God’s Word and prayer.

They’re also learning to be impatient. To respond in anger. To pretend not to hear when you’re talking to them. To be selfish. To be foolish. To value man’s wisdom.

What kind of model do you want to be for them?

Beware of the amount of time you’re spending on social media, on making chore charts, on researching just the right Christmas gift on Amazon and just the right curriculum at Rainbow Resource. Consider spending that time in prayer and with some godly older women. That is where you will find the real wisdom and refreshment that you’re seeking.

Number your days and enjoy every single one of them. Fill them with the fruit of the Spirit who lives in you: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. I’m praying for you.

TWIG

Dear Younger Kim, (#3) Respect Your Husband

Published on October 28, 2016 by teachwhatisgoodLeave a comment

This series is in response to the question:

So if you met yourself when your kids were as young as mine (4 and 1), what would you tell her?

If you haven’t read Part One in this series, click here.

Here’s my third nugget for myself:

Dear Kim,

Do you see that young man in that picture? He’s just as confused and lost as you are. Be patient with him, Kim. Pray for him, sister. Encourage him and love on him.

I wish I could stop there, but I’ve got to keep going. The word of God is for our training in righteousness that we could be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

You might want to get a cup of coffee and sit down. You might want to pray and hold my hand before we dive in here. This is going to be a hard one to hear. This is an area where I’m still doing battle almost every single day. But, I have a feeling that if we’d started on this a long time ago, this battle now wouldn’t be quite so hard.

… let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:33)

Kim, your relationship with your husband needs to be rooted deep in respect and reverence. As hard as this is for you to hear and as much as you want to fight against it, this is the truth. Indeed, you will well learn over the years, that there is indeed a way that seems right to a man (or a woman), but its end is the way to death (Proverbs 14:12 & Proverbs 16:25). This is one of those ways.

There are going to be many, many times when you think you know better, when you think you’re right, (and in fact, you may at times be right), but in the midst of that battle, you have got to reverence your husband. Admire him. Honor him. Respect him. Listen to him. Be quick to listen and slow to speak and slow to anger (James 1:19-20). Know this: it is the fool who delights in expressing his opinion, rather than in understanding (Proverbs 18:2). Yes, there may be the rare occasion when you might have to go against his wishes, but this will be the extreme exception and not the rule.

I’m not telling you to put him on some kind of pedestal or to make him some kind of an idol, taking the place of your allegiance to the one true God. No. Remember, you’re going to be trusting in the Lord with all your heart and not leaning on your own understanding. Remember, you’re going to be praying with thanksgiving and making your requests known to God.

And as you do that, God will turn his heart as only He is able (Proverbs 21:1).

God will not share His glory with another (Isaiah 48:11).

Think of the story of Gideon leading the Israelites in battle against the Midianites. In Judges 7:2, The Lord said to Gideon.

“The people with you are too many for me to give the Midianites into their hand, lest Israel boast over me, saying, ‘My own hand has saved me.’

The Lord cut down the army of the Israelites from 22,000 strong down to 300! In the Israelites’ victory, there could be no doubt that God Himself had saved them.

Kim, don’t steal God’s glory but manipulating and nagging and cold-shouldering (is that a word?) your husband into submitting to your wishes. God is most glorified as you are still and let Him fight your battles for you (Exodus 14:14).

Trust me. No, Trust GOD. Remember, trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge HIM and He will direct your paths.

TWIG

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Dear Younger Kim (#2), Don’t be anxious

Published on October 26, 2016 by teachwhatisgoodLeave a comment

This series is in response to the question:

So if you met yourself when your kids were as young as mine (4 and 1), what would you tell her?

If you haven’t read Part One in this series, click here.

So, here comes my second nugget for myself:

Dear Kim,

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Philippians 4:6)

As you trust the Lord with all your heart, the next step is going to be doing battle against fear and anxiety. This must begin by taking captive those fearful, anxious thoughts that run through your mind. Those angry thoughts about what the future holds if you don’t “get this child under control,” were not given to you by your good, loving Father. Those thoughts come from the pit of hell.

When those ideas first come into your mind, you are going to need to choose to pray. Remember, Worry NONE, Pray ALWAYS. You are going to have to choose to cast all of your anxieties onto God, trusting that He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7). Throw those fears onto Him. Cast them off your back and out of your mind, and give them over to God, who knows is sovereign over all things. Make your requests known to Him with a thankful heart filled with trust.

Remember, Kim, all His works are right and all His ways are just and those who walk in pride, He is able to humble (Daniel 4:37). When you start to worry, you are taking on burdens that you were never meant to carry. Your fears are rooted in pride, thinking too highly of yourself, and not highly enough of our all-powerful, all-knowing, all-loving God. Don’t forget that He loves you and will supply your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19). Believe that “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” (Romans 8:32)

I look at this picture of you in the pumpkin patch with the big smile on your face and I think of all the worries that are hidden behind there. The search for the perfect pumpkins and the perfect pictures, and what people think of your screaming toddler, and I just want to encourage you. One day you will look back at all those wasted moments that could have been filled with joy and laughter and think, “What was I worrying about?”

Worry NONE. Pray ALWAYS.

TWIG

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Dear Younger Kim, (Intro & Part 1)

Published on October 24, 2016 by teachwhatisgoodLeave a comment

I have recently begun a friendship with a younger mom on Facebook. She is just beginning the homeschooling journey and is eager to learn all she can from any of us more experienced moms. Bless her for that. Two days ago, she messaged me this question:

So if you met yourself when your kids were as young as mine (4 and 1), what would you tell her?

Wow! What a question! What do I wish that I’d heard (heard = heard & listened to, believed, obeyed) from a more experienced mom 15 years ago? What would I like to go back in time and tell myself? Wow! I can’t get the question off my mind, and thus begins this series that I pray will be a blessing to my dear, humble friend.

First off, I must confess that some of these statements will be things that I believe I have done well. But others, probably most of them, I fear I have not. I include both for the benefit of my younger self, that I may learn both from my successes and my failures. And I share this counsel, both to my younger self, and the younger moms out there, as well as to my now older self.

In Titus 2:4-5, older women are instructed to teach what is good and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their own husbands, with the ultimate goal that God’s word would not be reviled (or in other translations: blasphemed, slandered, or dishonored). Whether I’m an older woman yet or not, my goal in training the younger women to live an honorable life before God and man, is that God would be honored rather than dishonored. That, indeed, is my desire as I write these for Ashley, myself and anyone else who might stumble upon them. May God, my Father, Jesus Christ, my Savior, and the Holy Spirit, my Counselor, be glorified in all I say and do.

So, here we go. My first nugget of wisdom is this:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

In the original Hebrew of Proverbs 3:6, that word translated “acknowledge” is yada, to know. According to dictionary.com, “acknowledge” means (1) to admit to be real or true; recognize the existence, truth, or fact of: (2) to show or express recognition or realization of: (3) to recognize the authority, validity, or claims of.

As I meditate on this most important verse, I say, Kim (that’s me), trust in the Lord. Trust Him. Believe in Him. Don’t trust your emotions, your human understandings of this. Know the Lord. Seek Him. Moment by moment and step by step and day by day, seek Him first, and He will make your way straight and right. He will direct your steps as you know and trust Him as Lord with your whole heart.

It is good to seek counsel from other people. Keep listening to those talks and reading those books, but your trust has to be in God alone. He alone is God. He is the creator of all things and He is the author of all wisdom. Beware of thinking that if you follow somebody’s “Ten Steps to a Perfect Child who Loves God,” that you’re guaranteed something. This is a lie. It is as you TRUST the Lord, Kim, as you follow Him fully, that your path will be made straight.

This word “straight,” in the Hebrew is yashar which according to Blue Letter Bible means to be right, straight, level, upright, just, lawful, smooth. This is not the same as painless, carefree or easy. Beware. God is interested in refining you and your children into His vessels, directing you as you live out the purposes for which He has created you, whatever it takes. Trust Him, when your path is hard, and trust Him when your path is easy. Trust Him with all your heart.

Meditate on that today.

TWIG

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One Week of One on One

Published on July 18, 2014 by teachwhatisgood1 Comment

I wonder what it would be like to be the youngest of four.

Yes, I had a sister, but only one. I do remember spending summer vacations sometimes by myself with my grandparents. It was both fun and lonely.

This week it was just me and Daniel. Me and Bubba. Me and my little guy.

While Daddy, and the big brother and sisters were in Reynosa, Mexico for a mission trip to Rio Bravo Children’s Home, Daniel and I stayed home to play house together.

So, you may wonder, what did we do?

Well, we played lots of lots of Risk. I think 7 games so far. I’m up 4 games to 3.

We taught ourselves to play chess with an Usborne book.

We brought Daniel’s mattress into Mom and Dad’s room so he could sleep on the floor in my room.

We began reading “How God Used a Thunderstorm” together and listened to a bunch of exciting American History stories from Adventures in Odyssey. Daniel was particularly taken with the courageous stories of Sergeant York during World War I.

We went to Aldi together to buy all the necessary vittles for a week without eating out, including Moose Tracks ice cream and ice cream cones.

We ate simple things like egg sandwiches and chocolate chip zucchini muffins and waffles with fresh sliced strawberries and biscuits with sausage patties. Three meals a day.

We spent some time apart. Mommy took a few hours a day to work on finishing the formatting for the Bible study guide she’s working on while Daniel napped or read books by himself or watched something on Right Now Media.

We checked out a few DVDs at the library to watch snuggled on the couch.

We went bowling at the local bowling alley.

We played MLB 2K11 on XBox – Daniel won 3 for 3. No contest. I just can’t seem to figure it out.

We got our swimming suits on and took a bubble bath together in Mommy’s giant jacuzzi.

We took care of each other while we took turns battling fevers, and sore throats and sinus gunk.

We did the required household chores (even the ones that weren’t “ours”), like sweeping and cooking and laundry and taking care of the dogs.

Most importantly, we made many, many memories that I trust will last a lifetime.

TWIG

My “dream day”

Published on March 2, 2014 by teachwhatisgoodLeave a comment

I’m currently leading a Sunday School class discussion on a book titled Let. It. Go.: How to Stop Running the Show and Start Walking in Faith, by Karen Ehman.

In the book on pages 129-130, Karen encourages us to imagine our ideal day, to script a blank 24-hour time period to fill in any way we choose. This seemed like such a fun group activity that would really reveal a lot about each woman’s personalities and interests.

So here’s mine.

My ideal 24-hours starts with going bed early say about 9 o’clock listening to a podcast or classical Christian instrumental music on Pandora. The following morning I’d wake up early to watch a beautiful sunrise while reading my Bible, including a bunch of rabbit trails of Greek word studies. After a protracted time of prayer, I would spend some time blogging about the lessons the Lord is teaching me.

The rest of my day would be spent leisurely reading Christian novels or encouraging non-fiction books while eating shrimp tempera sushi rolls and a Toblerone bar, and drinking my second cup of incredibly sweet and creamy fresh brewed coffee, snuggled up in my comfy bed under my down comforter.

Late in the afternoon, I’d take a peaceful drive by myself through the country while listening to a Familylife podcast or encouraging homeschool speaker sermon and watching the wildlife on the side of the road. For dinner, I would go to a quiet, peaceful, upscale Japanese restaurant for more sushi. Then its off to a library or bookstore to peruse the latest Christian books, and if there’s time a run into Goodwill to shop for some inexpensive clothes for myself. To finish out my day, a stop at Sheridans Frozen Custard for a concrete, never without a Christian book or magazine.

Do you notice any patterns here?

Do you notice anything missing?

Here are the patterns I see: I like to be with God and with books and with food.

Here’s what’s missing: people. There are no other people in this ideal day.

Here’s the problem: in my real life, my real days are filled with real people, younger people and older people, but people who need me and love me. People who I love deeply, but ultimately in my terrific selfishness I just want to be alone.

Pray for me! By no coincidence yesterday I was listening to a Family Life podcast about what a killer selfishness is in a marriage. How true.

For as much as I fear some people read this and think how “godly” I am to want to spend my day in prayer and the scriptures and so on, let me just say that really that’s just God working in me. This is God IN me. Truly God has used my natural bent toward cerebral pursuits and turned that to serve Him.

But, this can still be my FLESH. In my selfish, sinful FLESH, I can even turn seeking God into a selfish pursuit – escaping my God-ordained duties and responsibilities to retreat into myself in the name of Jesus.

So how about you guys???

I would love to hear what your “dream day” would hold! I have a feeling we have at least one people-person out there. Don’t be shy.

Each of us is God’s unique workmanship that we would be in beautiful harmony in Him.

Thank you!

Published on January 13, 2014 by teachwhatisgoodLeave a comment

Thank you to everyone who sent me emails and called and prayed for me. I really do appreciate it. I did have a lovely birthday. Not because everything was perfect, but because I serve a God who is perfect.

“I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe.” 1 Timothy 1:12-16 (ESV)

The two worst days of the year

Published on January 11, 2014 by teachwhatisgoodLeave a comment

If you were going to name your two least favorite, most likely to be disastrous, days of the year, what would they be?

Guess what mine are.

The first day of school? No.

Black Friday? Nope.

9-11? No again.

Pearl Harbor Day? Keep guessing.

Bear with my honesty, please. Sadly, for many years running, the two worst days on my annual calendar might shock you.

My two least favorite days are …. Drum roll, please… My birthday and Mother’s Day.

I can hear you now. “What???” “That’s gotta be some kind of typo.” “That girl is crazy.”

I have a feeling, though, that I’m not alone in this. I have a feeling that I’m not the only selfish, discontent, hard to please, woman out there.

And before you all join in feeling sorry for me, imagining that my family forgets my birthday or skips the handmade Mother’s Day cards, STOP for you’d all be dreadfully wrong. It’s not anything like that.

Actually, my family tries to do things to please me – breakfast in bed, gifts, cards, dinner out, but you know what? It’s just never enough. I am so deeply entrenched in thinking that every moment of my “special day” should be all about me, that I am destined for disillusionment. I’m certain to be met at some point in the day with a dirty dish, a crying child, or a gift that won’t zip up. The breakfast isn’t cleaned up after, the cards and gifts aren’t quite right, the restaurant isn’t my top choice. Do you feel me, sisters??? The day is never perfect enough and I’m left disappointed rather than delighted.

Now I have a feeling that you are wondering, why I’m telling you this? Why am I sharing this in such a public forum? And why on earth am I telling you this now?

Well, you see, tomorrow marks my 41st birthday and I am determined that my day is going to be different.

Not different because I’ll be swarmed with comments from hundreds of adoring blog followers, but different because I’m determined to wake up with an attitude of gratitude. Different because I’m going to put on joy like a coat. Different because God has put a new song in my heart and I am not the same woman that I used to be, so I don’t have to live like I used to. Different because I don’t have to let my past dictate the future.

Today, I am committing myself to be thankful even for dirty dishes and crying children and pants that are two sizes too small.

Today I’m choosing to be thankful for a family who loves me and a God who made me in His image and who has good plans for me.

Lord, teach me to be content. Teach me to be thankful. Teach me to love others as they show their love for me.

Thank You, Jesus, for making me right where I am and thank You for always growing me to be more like You.

TWIG

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